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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Very elderly shopping in Sainsburys today!

309 replies

ohdearmissus · 31/03/2020 15:48

AIBU to feel unusually angry when seeing elderly (80's90's) shopping in Sainsburys today?
Angry enough to be posting here in aibu for the 1st time.
I realise that I am probably naive..but the elderly that I know are self isolating and being responsible...following the instructions we have been given..
I understand that they are likely aware of the risks...but I am trying to work out if I am raging because I'm thinking that if they do become ill..they will expect to be cared for by the nhs.
Quite simply..of the people that I saw today..if they catch coronavirus...baring a miracle...it will be the end for them..Maybe what has made me so angry is that if people are clearly not following the advice (I had thought that most were)...then this is going to continue to spread.
We all have to do our bit.
Happy to be told iabu..but trying to calm myself down by posting here!

OP posts:

TestBank · 31/03/2020 17:06

Would you really want to be dependant on other people for your shopping? And to have to stay inside all the time for what could be say 10% of your remaining lifespan? I wouldn't, and I wouldn't do it. It's not a law that the over 70s have to stay inside and not go shopping.

JustMySize · 31/03/2020 17:07

They have to eat just like everyone else and if they have no-one to help them then what have they to do?

As previous people have said the online delivery slots have gone and may I say that around here I have seen deliveries going to younger people who don't normally get deliveries at all, they are perfectly able to go out but choose not to, but they will go out for other reasons.

I HAD to go out (didn't want to) but what I did notice was the amount of people/families running, riding bikes, walking, they should be home, in the house away from park (why it was still open I have no idea), at home where they are safer than out and about where they could fall, be hit by a car, anything where they could end up in hospital taking up a bed and as you say they will expect to be cared for by the nhs.

if people are clearly not following the advice (I had thought that most were)...then this is going to continue to spread.
We all have to do our bit.

I wish more were doing their bit.

IDontLikeMondays88 · 31/03/2020 17:08

Out if interest what do you suggest they do for food if there are no delivery slots.

katseyes7 · 31/03/2020 17:08

l had a very elderly couple at my checkout on Sunday. They must have been in their eighties, they were both very frail.
Didn't understand the social distancing at all. Both myself and the supervisor had to keep asking them to stand on the yellow isolation lines. At one point the woman was standing right in front of me, with her bag on the checkout. l asked her to move back and she leaned forward, about 6" away from me, and said "What?"
l appreciate that they may not have anyone else, but l was very concerned for them, bearing in mind that they had no concept of keeping themselves at a distance from others. Also that they were very obviously vulnerable and could have been targeted by someone unscrupulous.
Unfortunately l don't know them, l don't work where l live and l've no idea who they are or where they live. l hope someone else near them notices them going out and offers to help. They really shouldn't have been out.

Worried234 · 31/03/2020 17:08

@JustStayAtHome I had to take my 7 year old to Sainsburys this morning. It was the 730-800am NHS slot. I am a single parent and today is my day off. I had no choice but to bring him along. My parents are both in their seventies. Please don't judge. Believe me, I'd rather not have to take my DS out with me, i would far rather keep him safe at home.

MangePasTesOnglesVilain · 31/03/2020 17:08

People can't follow advice if they can't access food.

Get angry about that, not at the people.

Nanny0gg · 31/03/2020 17:08

If they're following all the social distancing guidelines they can do their own shopping.

And if they need the NHS, I'm really sorry, but they deserve it as much as you do OP.

sudocremanglaise · 31/03/2020 17:09

If I was advised to stay inside for 12 weeks I’d seriously weigh up the health risks vs quality of life. Many people in that category (like those within my own household) would rather like to live! It’s not health risk vs quality of life, it’s risk of dying if contracting the disease at this stage (ie before established treatments or vaccines are available). That’s why the government wants them indoors!

@MangePasTesOnglesVilain Don’t forget, you can also open the window

RibenaMonsoon · 31/03/2020 17:09

Of course they will expect care from the NHS. They've most probably paid in way more than we have over the years. Why shouldn't they?

Some people don't have any alternative. No support/no internet/lack of knowledge how to use it/no delivery slots. Plenty of reasons an elderly person would visit Sainsburys. Everybody needs to eat.

FlockofGulls · 31/03/2020 17:10

but I am trying to work out if I am raging because I'm thinking that if they do become ill..they will expect to be cared for by the nhs

My god, even in a national crisis, we still get good old ageism on MN.

YABU. Totally.

Maybe they don't have anyone to do their shopping for them? Did you offer to help them?

Just because they're elderly doesn't mean they're stupid. They may have risk-assessed; they may be using gloves, and they maybe being careful about not touching their face, and washing their hands thoroughly when they get home.

So what are you doing to help, OP ?

MangePasTesOnglesVilain · 31/03/2020 17:11

*Sudo
*
Yes, and look at the 'view‘

Bluetrews25 · 31/03/2020 17:11

I've met a couple of older people (patients) who know they are at the ends of their lives by dint of their great age and are accepting of that. They don't particularly care if the virus gets them, but cannot stomach the idea of being isolated. It's very sad, but I don't think there is an answer.
They will continue to go out.
My son works in a corner shop and he tells me there are many older people who come in every day or even several times a day. It's not what they are buying that they need, it's companionship.
You could offer them all the help in the world and they would not take it. It's worth the risk for them.

playthestation · 31/03/2020 17:15

sudocrem

It’s not health risk vs quality of life, it’s risk of dying if contracting the disease at this stage (ie before established treatments or vaccines are available). That’s why the government wants them indoors!

The government hasn’t told them to stay indoors though.

bluewafflewithmayo · 31/03/2020 17:15

Yeah selfish bastards. Everyone knows old people don’t need to eat.

sudocremanglaise · 31/03/2020 17:16

Sorry @playthestation, I was referring to the people who have actually been told to stay indoors, the extremely vulnerable. I posted earlier about how the over 70s are not in this group unless they have the conditions listed. In my haste these posts are all connected in my mind and obvious!

BumpyNugget · 31/03/2020 17:19

The news stated over and over, 1.5 million very vulnerable needing to isolate for 12 weeks. It's on the telly again as I write this.

Over the weekend it was announced that the first 4 thousand grocery parcels were delivered.

See them two numbers?

1.5 million in need.
4 thousand parcels delivered.

The rest of them supposed to sit in the house until their little package shows up or they drop dead of starvation so they don't piss you off by existing and needing food and bog roll.

Buddywoo · 31/03/2020 17:22

We are elderly and my husband has been getting up in the middle of the night to try and get a delivery slot with no success. We went to M&S today and it was empty and fully stocked.

I would prefer a delivery but needs must.

SingingSands · 31/03/2020 17:24

Just to let you know... the NHS would be happy to care for them.

Wind your neck in.

Ispymyl1ttleeye · 31/03/2020 17:27

Elderly relative 80+ lives 100s miles away

No delivery slots available for online shopping from any supermarket

Does not have internet

I found a lovely young volunteer who is currently providing shopping via social media & neighbours are helping too

If these were not available, this person would be shopping as normal once a week

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 17:27

OMG not everybody is at risk, the elderly more so because we generally have underlying health issues, and like me if I don’t go to the supermarket I starve that simple. Cannot get a delivery not sure why I am not classed as vulnerable as they have always delivered my shopping when I am at my worst, and it states clearly on my account I am disabled. But let’s not forget one very important thing here people, or rather two, firstly a lot of people die at this time of year due to flu about 12 thousand world wide of those that are definitely attributed to the flu, many others are from other underlying health issues that the flu just knocks the stuffing out of you. Two of the people so far that have died this year that have tested positive to Covid 19 that was what is put on the death certificate but probably not what killed them is was just the catalyst and the underlying health problem is what they really died of. But a point to consider people it is called Covid 19 for a reason! It started in 2019 so has already been about for a few months and there are probably a lot of people already had it and just thought is was a cold or the flu. The percentages are weighted as only people in hospital are being tested and not the population at large, so there are probably thousands walking around with it with not ill effect at all as they are generally in good health. The only country in the world with the correct ratio is Finland as they are the only country that tests everybody. Let’s also not miss the fact that the average of people in Italy to die that tested positive is about 78.2. This information came from a retired NHS pathologist, Dr John Lee and you can find his report on The Spectators website. Have a good day everybody and realise you are all being duped by scientists who’s only goal is to make sure they have funding for the next few years.

Chillicheese123 · 31/03/2020 17:31

My elderly grandparents told me they’d rather get it than stay in

FlockofGulls · 31/03/2020 17:33

you are all being duped by scientists who’s only goal is to make sure they have funding for the next few years

Quite happy to have scientists funded. Gosh, they may even find a vaccine for, oh guess what, the novel corona viruses which pop up every now and again.

CarolHasAnotherUTI · 31/03/2020 17:40

realise you are all being duped by scientists who’s only goal is to make sure they have funding for the next few years

Please elaborate, why are scientists alarmed about funding?

GreenWheat · 31/03/2020 17:40

Take off that massive pair of judgy pants and offer to help them.

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 17:42

Well they didn’t find a cure for its cousins that came before which would have helped with this one did they? I find is comical that the young health population are running scared when they probably have nothing to fear, yet those of us who are most at risk have to carry on regardless, unless I go out shopping or to get my meds I’m not sure if I’d starve first or drop dead from my illnesses. But I don’t think I will do either I am made of stuffer.material than that.

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