Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To leave husband during lockdown

619 replies

MWallsb · 29/03/2020 21:53

Currently living with my husband in a remote area far away from any of my family and friends, who are all in London where I’m from originally. Since getting married last year and subsequently moving to my husband’s hometown, he’s become abusive both physically and mentally. Prior to lockdown, things were just about manageable as he’d spend long hours at work and often worked away for extended periods of time. For the last two weeks, he’s been WFH and things have become unbearable. My anxiety is through the roof and I don’t feel able to cope in the home. It has dawned on me that I need to leave the marriage sooner rather than later. I’m lucky enough to have a great support network of family and friends, however, all are in London. My sister who lives in central London and has asked me to pack my things and travel up to stay with her for my safety until the lockdown is over, after which time I can then look at a longer term plan.

I’m of course aware of the very strict rules in place at the moment with regards to non essential travel. From what I’ve read, it’s acceptable to leave home if travelling to a refuge, but it’s not permissible to leave home to stay with family elsewhere. I have both a car or a train station nearby to get me in to central London, but it’s a 2 hour journey and I’m seeing all over the news about the police stopping people to ask for evidence as to why they are travelling and issuing fines/forcing them to return back home if their reason for travelling is not permissible etc.

If I were to leave, it would have to be without my husband knowing (in the night or making a quick getaway whilst he’s out of the house). I’m terrified I might attempt to travel in to London and be stopped or forced to return home again which would have awful implications for me. I suppose I’m just looking for some advice really in terms of what to do or what others would do in my situation. I feel in desperate need of family support, but at the same time the last thing I need is to get in trouble with the law. TIA

OP posts:
Andiwouldwalk5hundred · 30/03/2020 14:21

Oh op. Take care. Today is the first day of the rest of your amazing life xxx

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 30/03/2020 14:22

Made my day to read that! Good luck now, so glad you have a lovely sister to help you!

InsideNo · 30/03/2020 14:23

Well done, OP! You are a superstar!
Wishing you all the very best for the rest of your life.

Embracelife · 30/03/2020 14:23

Well done
Please photo and record the bruises as evidence.
Now peace and recovery

bettertimesarecomingnow · 30/03/2020 14:24

Great news! Well done

FaithInfinity · 30/03/2020 14:24

Fantastic news, well done OP.

olderthanilookapparently · 30/03/2020 14:25

Well done, let your sister look after you for a while and take this time to rest and re group.

incognitomum · 30/03/2020 14:27

Phew so glad you are away from him.

TheBeeatAmbridge · 30/03/2020 14:27

Wonderful news, well done OP Flowers

lightyearsahead · 30/03/2020 14:27

Wonderful news x

WooYa · 30/03/2020 14:27

I'm so glad you got out! Good luck Flowers

Foofer · 30/03/2020 14:28

Well done - I’m so pleased to see you’ve made it to safety

LadyEloise · 30/03/2020 14:29

You have the rest of your wonderful life ahead of you.
Well done Thanks

TheNightKing · 30/03/2020 14:29

I’m so pleased you left and are safely at your sisters house OP. Wishing you the best of luck going forward Flowers

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/03/2020 14:30

I’m so glad you’re safe you brave woman! 💐🌷

safariboot · 30/03/2020 14:31

I'm extremely relieved to hear you're safe.

wildthingsinthenight · 30/03/2020 14:32

What a relief!!
Well done. So brave xxxxxx

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 30/03/2020 14:33

glad it went well, you had time to collect what you needed, and you had a smooth journey.

Did you have joint accounts? Now you're away, transfer out what you can and notify the bank of the split so that he can't run up joint overdrafts.

KenAdams · 30/03/2020 14:34

Oh thank goodness - I felt sick reading your post yesterday that you wouldn't be able to leave.

Did you get stopped by the police?

Sally872 · 30/03/2020 14:38

Delighted to hear you are safely at your sisters. Hardest bit is done. Well done and best wishes for the future.

ALovelyBitOfSquirrel · 30/03/2020 14:38

Oh that's so good to hear! You're very brave. Take care of yourself.

Rhapsodyinpurple · 30/03/2020 14:39

So glad that you managed to get away safely Thanks

hennythe100footbird · 30/03/2020 14:43

So glad you are safe OP. Thanks for the update ThanksThanksThanks

QuacksInTheDark · 30/03/2020 14:43

Wahoo! Well done OP. Enjoy the rest of your life in freedom! You’re amazing 😊👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

frazzledasarock · 30/03/2020 14:44

Oh OP, well done, so glad you’re safely with your sister now.

If you can bring yourself to. Get your sister to take pictures of your bruises do you have date stamped proof of your injuries.

I always regret not having done that as when in court it came down to my word against his. And he obviously lied.