Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To leave husband during lockdown

619 replies

MWallsb · 29/03/2020 21:53

Currently living with my husband in a remote area far away from any of my family and friends, who are all in London where I’m from originally. Since getting married last year and subsequently moving to my husband’s hometown, he’s become abusive both physically and mentally. Prior to lockdown, things were just about manageable as he’d spend long hours at work and often worked away for extended periods of time. For the last two weeks, he’s been WFH and things have become unbearable. My anxiety is through the roof and I don’t feel able to cope in the home. It has dawned on me that I need to leave the marriage sooner rather than later. I’m lucky enough to have a great support network of family and friends, however, all are in London. My sister who lives in central London and has asked me to pack my things and travel up to stay with her for my safety until the lockdown is over, after which time I can then look at a longer term plan.

I’m of course aware of the very strict rules in place at the moment with regards to non essential travel. From what I’ve read, it’s acceptable to leave home if travelling to a refuge, but it’s not permissible to leave home to stay with family elsewhere. I have both a car or a train station nearby to get me in to central London, but it’s a 2 hour journey and I’m seeing all over the news about the police stopping people to ask for evidence as to why they are travelling and issuing fines/forcing them to return back home if their reason for travelling is not permissible etc.

If I were to leave, it would have to be without my husband knowing (in the night or making a quick getaway whilst he’s out of the house). I’m terrified I might attempt to travel in to London and be stopped or forced to return home again which would have awful implications for me. I suppose I’m just looking for some advice really in terms of what to do or what others would do in my situation. I feel in desperate need of family support, but at the same time the last thing I need is to get in trouble with the law. TIA

OP posts:
Doobigetta · 30/03/2020 10:21

Hope everything is going to plan, OP. Fingers crossed for you x

JudasHisCarrot · 30/03/2020 10:22

Good luck OP. You're so brave 🌸♥

AlexDrake1981 · 30/03/2020 10:22

Good luck, wishing you a safe getaway Flowers

TheLadyAnneNeville · 30/03/2020 10:22

Go.

olderthanilookapparently · 30/03/2020 10:26

Hope you are safely on your way to your sister well done and just go

AlwaysCheddar · 30/03/2020 10:27

Was hoping for an update to know the op is safe. Good luck!!

SweetPeaPods · 30/03/2020 10:27

Read this thread late last night and been thinking of you OP. Hope everything is ok

strongswans · 30/03/2020 10:31

Popping back to say I'm thinking of you op. Hope everything is going well for you.

therewerefour · 30/03/2020 10:36

I hope you've managed to get out and make it to London. Stay safe

Thismum4 · 30/03/2020 10:37

Thinking of you today OP, hope you’ve managed to get away safely Flowers

QuizzlyBear · 30/03/2020 10:42

Just thinking of you OP and wishing you good luck. You deserve to feel safe! Thanks

LadyEloise · 30/03/2020 10:53

Hopefully you are now safe. Take care Thanks

CeibaTree · 30/03/2020 10:56

Thinking of you and cheering you on your way. Best of luck to you x

Zoecarter · 30/03/2020 10:57

Thinking of you x

pinkyredrose · 30/03/2020 11:00

Thinking of you. You can do this Flowers

rayoflightboy · 30/03/2020 11:17

@AlwaysCheddar Op said she will update when she's safely in her sisters.
Op hopefully you are on your way,and you will be safe.Thinking of you.Flowers

NorthernBirdAtHeart · 30/03/2020 11:18

Thinking of you OP. I really hope you’ve left and are on your way to your sister’s.
Good luck x

DressesWithPocketsRockMyWorld · 30/03/2020 11:20

You are beyond brave. Go go go. Stay safe xx

NameofTheWind · 30/03/2020 11:20

Good luck OP. I've got everything crossed for you.

yorkshirecountrylass · 30/03/2020 11:22

Absolutely go. Local safeguarding Boards and Partnerships are all aware of the increase in domestic abuse and all emergency services have been briefed the same. If you are stopped tell them you are leaving a domestic abusive relationship

WildfirePonie · 30/03/2020 11:32

Good luck OP x

sleepismysuperpower1 · 30/03/2020 11:48

good luck OP x

Mumto1girl3boys · 30/03/2020 11:50
Flowers
unluckyducky · 30/03/2020 11:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

miccymaccy · 30/03/2020 11:57

Good luck!

Swipe left for the next trending thread