To ask genuinely if you aren't following the rules

[MrsKingfisher]

Why? I'm genuinely curious to know why those who can't get to grips with what's been asked of us all at this time or those who need to find a loophole are doing it.

Not key workers etc etc I'm talking about those who simply cannot do as they've been asked. It's mind boggling how simple rules can be so unclear to so many!

Some of my friends just cannot seem to stay at home, just carrying on as if the rules don't apply to them. I don't get it.

I've been going for a run around 7am (and do not encounter a soul). I also go out in the late afternoon for a walk with my DH and DC. Although I did read that there is nothing in the actual legislation that says you can only go out once per day..so maybe I'm not really breaking the rules.

I admit to two local little exercise outings a day most days, one with DS8 and one on my own. Suburban spacious environment, very few other people about but we are swerving each other. Trying to keep shopping to once a week. DS15 hasn't seen his GF for a over a week and they were ineperable! Not seen my parents for ages (not normal). I don't feel I can do much more. I think people I know are pretty much doing it.

In my village there are 5, yes 5 , holiday cottages occupied. They arrived on Friday, so after the lock down.

The pitchforks are out. People are just going crazy about it. I fear these people might be lynched, honestly.

I’m following the rules as closely as I can. I’m a single parent with no car so I can’t get a week’s worth of shopping at once. However, I try to make up for the extra trips to the shop by combining them with a walk (daily exercise allowance) or not going out to exercise at all so I’m going out less or the same amount as I would if I could do a weekly shop over all.

I know way too many people who are going to the supermarket every other day for 'essentials', going to pharmacies several times a week instead of waiting until the end of the week for everything to be ready and trying trying to justify their outings as essential e.g. driving to the charity shop to drop off their trash. Its ridiculous and I'm honestly going to lose a lot of friends over this by the end.

Plus I don’t live with my partner and haven’t met up with them since even before lockdown was announced - it’s too risky.

social distancing is much easier if you are wealthier than average
I'm not complaining because we have a detached house in large garden ( big enough to grow stuff play tennis) so we can get all the exercise we need without leaving the garden, we can hear birds watch deer etc; we have a car, 2 freezers enough money to buy more than I need so can buy enough for 2 weeks in one go because I have a car I don't have to carry in bags in my hands on a bus we have enough tech
so my DD can do online school at the same time as I WFH
however if DD only had a phone without wifi and roaming data she would struggle with online school, if we had no printer we couldn't print off sheets and if we lived in 1 bed flat on 13th floor with no car and we had to carry all our shopping and could only buy 3 days worth of food because it's all we can afford until next benefits arrive, we have to use corner shop at twice the price because Lidl is too far to walk then suddenly this is really hard to keep rules, DD can't do PE with Joe at 9am as druggie downstairs will threaten us for waking him up etc etc
There was a doctor from India saying lockdown in India will kill people as suddenly millions and millions are homeless and jobless dying of starvation instead of corona is not a choice you want to make for either yourselves or your kids he was saying it was a disease spead largely by the rich ( relative to the poor in India not footballer rich) jetting around the world but it will mainly be the poor that will die

@mindproject I think I love you I won't be having it either

I agree with you Teacup. I'd hazard a guess the person calling other posters 'fucking morons' doesn't live in a high rise with no garden.

I think my biggest struggle this weekend has been managing my reaction to some friends and family blithely telling me how they’re not sticking to the rules.

I am socially responsible, and tend to stick to rules, but I’m really struggling with the restrictions. So I feel very angry when people I love are happy to tell me that they are behaving in a way that, I’m my eyes, prolongs this situation.

I’ve still not figured out how to manage this.

OP, the first thing that strikes me about the new cyclists and birdwatchers is that they’d normally be at work, but now they can do this every day.

And what’s wrong with that, if they are social distancing? They’re not breaking the law with their daily walk or exercise.

MsMD where are you that charity shops are open?!

Usually my husband comes walking with me and the baby in the pram then goes out for a jog on his own later in the day.

I can’t really push the pram well my self for long as I have a broken bone in my pelvis (still) from pregnancy/childbirth. Also I don’t want to go out on my own.

My nosey neighbour has already enquired why he goes out twice!

It’s not like we are touching or going in anywhere.

I think we’re following the rules.

• We are ordering food online and then popping to the shop once a week for anything we couldn’t get/run out of. We are a family of 6 with not much storage/a small freezer so can’t stock up too much.
• I’m working from home and dh is home too.
• one walk a day with the dogs.

We’ve not seen family for about a fortnight. I do walk past my nanas house on the daily dog walk a few time’s a week and wave to her from the pavement just so I know she’s ok. I don’t even venture up the path though, just ring her and tell her to wave lol.

I don't get it either OP and I just hope for they're sakes and the sakes of they're familys that the one's flouting the rules are lucky enough to not catch the virus!

I am going stir crazy but I haven't been out for over 2 weeks now,the last time I went out was for a meeting(there was only 6 of us,we all used hand sanitizer and we all sat away from one another)I told them then and there any and all other meetings will have to be online(this was before the lockdown happened)I'm ill,I'm immunosuppressed so I'm trying not to take any chances or anything for granted.

My DH is doing the shopping and picking up medications for everyone within our household.

I get that it's hard I really do we have 2DC stuck at home missing out on school and college and they're both autistic and the meltdowns have been coming thick and fast in our household,now we have been given the choice to send our DD12 to school because she has an EHCP but as soon as going to school was a choice we kept her home,we kept her home because we don't want to take the risk that she could get ill,we also don't want to take the risk that if she did get ill that by the time we knew she could have gone to school and infected God only knows how many other children and teachers.

We all have a responsibility to not only to try and keep our DC and family well and safe but to do our part in trying to keep other peoples DC and familys safe and the only way we can do that is by doing as we've been asked.

They're asking people that don't need to be out of the house to stay home,it's not like they're asking us all to perform brain surgery or to go out and detonate bombs or solve world hunger just stay home!

My God if our familys that came before us could get us through 2 world wars and get us through it without us all ending up under hitlers rule I can't for the life of me understand why people can't just do what is being asked of them!

The one's that don't want to follow the stay at home if you can rule need to think on if this virus that kills someone could be tracked back to the person that passed it onto them would they really want to be tracked down to then hold they're hands up infront of the bereaved family and say"I'm sorry your Mother/Father/Son/Daughter/Grandchild/Brother/Sister/Grandparent caught the virus from me but it's like this I was getting bored and me not being bored and going and having a bbq/going for a drink/coffee around my friends house/popping to numerous shops everyday for a newspaper ect was so important to me that I was willing to take the risk with other peoples lifes"!

All of us,the whole world can look back (on these awful and for many very scary times) and feel proud knowing we all did our bit even those that just stayed at home or we can look back and think if only I'd done/they'd done what was asked of them then we may have been able to save a few hundred/thousand lifes.

It's hard,it's bloody hard but right now everyone needs to be pulling together and pulling in the same direction

I have a question. At the start of this the govt were saying 'why not have a cup of tea outside your house and talk to your neighbour at a safe distance'? We did this, last week, before things got stricter. Have they prohibited it now or is it still allowed? If you sit on your own garden chair and bring out your own tea in your own cup and you are at least 2m apart is that really a risk?

I take my dog out twice a day (never see anyone) plus go and do my horses three times a day (also never see anyone). Horses are currently 4 mins walk from my house. One of them had an operation on his hoof 6 weeks ago so has to stay in a clean dry stable, so I have to clean the wound, muck him out and check hay and water three times a day. Not sure its allowed but again I don't see anyone. I also go for q run, again I don't see anyone. I go to the supermarket or pharmacy once a week.

Sticking to the rules, really missing cuddles with my 5 month old grandaughter who I had seen every Monday to Friday of every week since she has been born.

Also missing seeing my other 4 grandchildren, the eldest of whom (9) has special needs, we have a very special bond.
My husband and I have not been shopping for 2 weeks, as I had planned well ahead in Jan / early Feb.
We wanted to stay well for our holiday in North Devon this coming Friday. Obviously not going now , all 13 of us would have been together for the week and we were so looking forward to it.
Have been walking to the allotment as my exercise. No one else at the allotments at 6.30 am. Going to the allotment and following the rules there is allowed
No one around anyway but have been walking in the middle of the roads just in case someone pops out of their gate. No traffic around either.

One daughter lives 2 min walk away, one daughter lives 7 min drive away and the other an hour away.

Just see all 3 daughters, their husbands and children via video link. Really missing them all but absolutely following all the rules and from what I see, so is everyone else around the area.
Now that my husband and I have avoided all people for 2 weeks , we really do not want to have to go shopping when the need arises!!!

I'm trying to stick to the rules but it is hard and I think if you're doing it properly it should be a bit hard and boring at times.

I'm sure I've broken the rules a bit - this evening I took my dog round the block after dark to settle him down even though he had been out once today already. The other day I drove to the only park that was still open because I could and my local one was full of teenagers. No one is perfect but we've all got to try and do our best otherwise we'll get a really stringent lockdown which no sensible person should actually want.

I do drive 5 minutes so I can go for a run in the woods away from everyone and see no one most days, I usually combine it with a trip to the shop which is on the way back(I usually go to the gym and hate running but need to exercise) and I go for a walk in the evening. I don't have the space to store more than a couple of days worth of food (freezer is full of ice cream and ice cubes and I share my kitchen with my lodger) so I do go to the shops every other day. I'm in the rest of the time and avoid the busy times at the shops.

Just from the people I've spoken to today :

A family member, who is a keyworker and coming into contact with lots of people every day, visiting his elderly mum 'because she's lonely and is happy to take the risk.'

A friend who picked up two non-driving family members so that they could trawl around three different supermarkets. The justification was that it was less risk than them going by public transport, and they needed three supermarkets in order to get everything on their respective lists.

A friend, with her own family, who walks to visit her sister (and her family). The justification was that they are basically just one big single household because they always spend so much time together.

DS's uni friends organised a get together, because they 'know they haven't got it and would probably only get it mild anyway.'

A neighbour who goes out every day for hours, 'for his daily walk', and sniggers about all the places he goes but it's ok because he's 'just passing on his walk' - for example, he's found a playground he can access with his kids.

Selfish bastards one and all. Cheating the spirit of the rules, finding loopholes and just generally refusing to accept that they need to accept some hardship and inconvenience if this is going to work. Jesus Christ you're not going off to war, you're just being asked to stay at home.

@Luc1nda l think with the rules it is hard and things like "just sit on your sofa" really don't help when the ret of the time thye are pushing "couch25k"
for myself I try and separate the not keeping rule people into two categories 1. the ones deliberately putting people in danger by ignoring rules like going out with symptoms because they need fresh air etc or contaminating things or preventing other people get adequate supplies and 2.those that are technically breaking rules but using common sense are not exposing people to danger like someone who lives beside a wood and takes the dog twice a day and never mets a soul for me those in category 2 and much easier to deal with than 1 and accpeting you can only change your behavoiur and not anyone else's

I’m not strictly following them but tbh, I’m not increasing risk so satisfied I’m doing my bit

Might get slaughtered now but I'm breaking the rules. I take my dog out for a quick wee at around 5.30/6am for about 8-10 minutes when there's literary nobody else in sight and then again at lunchtime but for a bit longer so he gets some exercise and fresh air. DH takes him out for a quick spin around the block at night.

He has nowhere else to do his business and I can't make him hold it in for 12 hours during the day and there's only the two of us who can walk him. If he can't go out he just sits by the door whining.

I have been doing, the best I can.

I'd love to go back to shopping just once a week, but we can't get everything we need for a family of 5 in one go at the moment due to not always have the stock and when there is the stock we're not allowed to buy enough at once so I have to go out a second time during the week.

I have a dog who isn't great to run with so on my running days he has been getting the use of our back garden (3 days a week) as I feel like Id be killing 1000 people if I were to take him on the usual 10 min walk in our rural country roads. This is how previous threads and discussions on other internet sites have made me feel. I feel guilty as hell for running though even though I do live in a rural location and rarely see anyone (when I do it is so easy to stick to the 2 meter rule for the whole of the 1 or 2 seconds when we pass) so might give this up entirely.