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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask genuinely if you aren't following the rules

509 replies

MrsKingfisher · 29/03/2020 19:55

Why? I'm genuinely curious to know why those who can't get to grips with what's been asked of us all at this time or those who need to find a loophole are doing it.

Not key workers etc etc I'm talking about those who simply cannot do as they've been asked. It's mind boggling how simple rules can be so unclear to so many!

Some of my friends just cannot seem to stay at home, just carrying on as if the rules don't apply to them. I don't get it.

OP posts:
Esspee · 30/03/2020 23:39

For anyone who thinks they are smart going to the supermarket every day.........I finished a 2 week quarantine just as we went into lockdown. Needed to shop on Monday. Store quiet, everyone keeping their distance, wore disp. gloves, washed thoroughly when I got home.

My symptoms started on Friday. I believe I have Covid19.
Just stay home!

Whiskersandtwitch · 30/03/2020 23:40

'Hot' under the collar

Ferret27 · 30/03/2020 23:51

Biber ...... Wonderfully written .... I hope everyone on this thread reads it...

pollymere · 31/03/2020 00:28

I've been in isolation for over a week. I've been out twice for a walk when no one is around. Two of my friends have already died. DH does the shopping once a week. I've made two cakes and taught about 180 children via the internet.

Magenta82 · 31/03/2020 01:00

I moved out in February, then my ex got diagnosed with cancer, he went in for surgery the other week. I moved back so that his 18 year old wouldn't be left alone whilst my ex was in hospital. Then the lockdown happened.

I can't visit my ex in hospital, but I have been to my new house to go for a walk with my housemate a couple of times. It is the only thing that keeps me sane.

I'm in a shit situation either way, not sure which counts as breaking the rules, staying here or going there?

Either way its hugely stressful, my ex keeps trying to get me to stay for the whole lockdown, I want out.

Rules only work in typical situations.

turnandfacethenamechange · 31/03/2020 03:00

Loling at birdwatching being somehow more risky that simply walking. Will police be leaping out of hedgerows telling "Don't look at the birds!!!"? 😂

urkidding · 31/03/2020 05:12

We need to discuss why the government has done nothing all this time. Why we still don't have tests. Why the World Health Organisation had to tell our government to test. Why we did not join the unified efforts of the EU to order large amounts of equipment. Why were we listening to dumb, dumber and dumbest (Boris and the two scientific people) telling us how it was going to spread. It did not spread in Taiwan. Why didn't we have gel on the buses and trains? This is what happened in Taiwan which is next door to China.
We should have followed their practical example.
www.smh.com.au/world/asia/while-other-countries-lost-precious-time-taiwan-mobilised-to-keep-covid-19-at-bay-20200316-p54ah8.html
The BBC should have been reporting this, not endless interviews with people who know nothing.

sunnybean60 · 31/03/2020 06:50

I'd rather live and save the lives as many people as I can and that means staying I shall stay in and take the pressure of the NHS.

LaStreng · 31/03/2020 07:37

I still see my DM who does not live with me but is avoiding everyone minus having to use the supermarket. We know its an extra risk. But I have severe MH issues and all my support was cancelled a few weeks ago. Its weighing up the risk to others and ourselves and the risk of me having to go back to hospital/being suicidal again (and I'm a lone parent of 2 young DCs).

So yes we're doing the wrong thing and it feels grotty but it's been carefully weighed up and spoken about with the community team etc. My neighbour doesn't know I have anything "wrong" with me so I'm sure she thinks I'm just being selfish and ignorant. Maybe she'll report us maybe not. It's shit. And part of me wishes I'd died the last time I relapsed.

okiedokieme · 31/03/2020 07:46

My exh is going round to my house for dinner most nights dd tells me (I'm not there I'm at dp's) he's wfh and lives alone so no risk. DD's are playing by the rules as far as I can tell, they have friends staying with them for the duration (all are university students and some couldn't get home). The social distance rules need to be listened to but we all have unique circumstances and adaptation is needed where appropriate. One of my DD's has mh issues so her dad being on hand is important

LaStreng · 31/03/2020 07:52

Ooo spread that back and it sounds really bleak. What I mean is that for some of us who have "invisible" illnesses we still need support from people and lots of services have been cancelled.

LaStreng · 31/03/2020 07:53

*read not spread ffs Hmm

peasoup15 · 31/03/2020 08:02

Everyone I know is sticking to the rules. The difficulty is when shopping for elderly relatives, who obviously need the same essentials as you do. I was stopped in the supermarket as I had too much milk (two small cartons for in-laws and two for my family). I actually needed more but the bigger cartons were out of stock. So that means a trip to another shop or going again in a few days, which defeats the point. I've now arranged to have milk and eggs delivered and so have the in-laws, which is a relief as avoiding unnecessary additional trips.

Wannabangbang · 31/03/2020 08:09

Biber i completely agree!

Luddite26 · 31/03/2020 08:14

You aren't breaking the rules LaStreng. That's caregiving needed equally as if it was any other illness. Don't let anybody make you feel bad about receiving support especially when it saves the NHS much much more.

Ethelfleda · 31/03/2020 08:18

It’s crazy, OP. People are armchair epidemiologists all of a sudden and are bending the rules based on their own interpretations or ‘common sense’ as I’ve seen it described here.
I’m just following what I’ve been told as it makes me feel more in control on a strange way, and like I am actually doing something to stop it spreading.

shellyandlayla · 31/03/2020 08:21

Great post Biber agree with every word. I'm in France so have been on lockdown for over two weeks now. I don't know of anyone at all who hasn't followed the rules to the letter. We also have to carry an authority which has to be dated and timed every time you leave the house. If you don't have that or you're out for a reason you shouldn't be it's a 200€ fine the first time, increasing if you repeat and prison eventually. One of us has been out once a week for shopping - it's OH's turn this morning and he's super excited. Grin

Crookshanksthecat · 31/03/2020 08:21

Biber- it IS partly the fault of "the people". If they follow the rules and they did stay home then we would stop the spread. It's not rocket science. When the advice was social distancing many of "the people" ignored it and now we're in lockdown and there are still some of "the people" are ignoring it.

I hate the whole easy excuse "it's the government's fault" when there are so many people out there bending the rules because "we'll be ok it's just us, we are still being careful" or "I have to see my family/friends for my mental health".

It comes down to the fact that we are just too selfish, our own needs/wants outweigh the health and lives of others. So many people in this country are like little children, selfish and always ready to blame someone else. If we all took some responsibility and trusted the advice we would kick this far quicker.

Ethelfleda · 31/03/2020 08:25

Wow, biber excellent post and a very different perspective. I had not considered it before.

Perhaps it’s even worse that I actually started to respect Boris Johnson for the way he has handled this, whereas I was completely against a Tory government in the last two elections.

Ethelfleda · 31/03/2020 08:26

Cruskshanks also excellent points (and username Smile)

Ethelfleda · 31/03/2020 08:26

That I couldn’t even spell properly Hmm

Cam2020 · 31/03/2020 08:30

@Crookshanksthecat you have that spot on. I saw a meme recently that said the sooner everyone follows the rules, the sooner we can all go to the pub. Perhaps the government should stop talking about taking responsibility for not crippling the NHS and take up that line instead. I'm sure it would appeal to many a selfish bugger.

PNDventing · 31/03/2020 08:37

I do sometimes break the rules and go out more than once a day. I feel really uncomfortable doing it, but my doctor said I should do if I feel unsafe indoors because of my MH condition. He’s even given me a letter to show if needed, but I hate doing it because I’m not travelling to a medical appointment I’m just walking. And I have to juggle how guilty I’ll feel if my family get CV because of my inability to keep my head together, and that I’m sure the neighbours have noticed that I’m breaking the rules and are judging me for it. Plus, lots of people are struggling with the MH side of staying in, there’s nothing special about me that means I should get to have it easier.

I can’t imagine breaking the rules just for the hell of it.

hellsbellsmelons · 31/03/2020 08:41

Apart from walking my dog once a day I have not left the house at all.
Not to shop or anything.
Although when walking my dog I see far more people than I ever have before.

I may have to take my car for a run at some point this week.
I'm sticking to it but will need to visit my dad soon.
As long as no symptoms for either and neither of us have gone out then I will do it.
He lost his wife after 50+ years a month ago.
I'm going to try not to but he will need some company soon bless him.

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