To ask genuinely if you aren't following the rules

[MrsKingfisher]

Why? I'm genuinely curious to know why those who can't get to grips with what's been asked of us all at this time or those who need to find a loophole are doing it.

Not key workers etc etc I'm talking about those who simply cannot do as they've been asked. It's mind boggling how simple rules can be so unclear to so many!

Some of my friends just cannot seem to stay at home, just carrying on as if the rules don't apply to them. I don't get it.

Yes @MadameBee but then FIL is terminally ill woth cancer and is being moved to palliative care.
MIL has a heart condition that probably mean she would get minimal care (as in I doubt they would intubate etc...).

Neither of them are going to be a great burden because they are likely to be told others are a priority. Plus knowing them, they would stay at home anyway....

This is one situation where, as vulnerable as they are, they just dint want to be protected...

My parents are the same age and at the opposite end of the spectrum. They have been totally self isolating for weeks now, washing any shopping with bleach before putting it back in the cupboard/fridge etc...

We are being pretty cautious as most people round here seem to be. We've been shopping a couple of times over the past week. Once totally unplanned. Passed through the town on way home from a walk, it was so deserted I took the opportunity to buy milk and bread but didn't have any cards with me so couldn't do a shop. Went again today as part of a walk and trip to the pharmacy to pick up a massive bag of prescriptions for elderly neighbours.

We are no spring chickens ourselves so know every time we shop there is a risk. I feel the risk whilst exercising is minimal as long as you give way to anyone you meet. I dread not being able to go for a walk but realise it may come to that.

Not seen teacher DS and his A&E nurse partner for weeks and no idea when I'll see them again. I hate it but it's the sensible thing to do. Mothering Sunday and good weather definitely brought out the recklessness of some poeple and appeared to be the straw that broke the camels back for BJ to announce the lockdown.

@Oakmaiden yes I understand that, and all the other comments about extra strain on the NHS etc.

My nan has dementia and my grandad is blind and his osteoporosis is so bad he can hardly move out of his chair. It's an awful situation and I would love to be able to stay away but I don't know what 12 or more weeks of isolation would do to them. Plus we provide some care in terms of making/delivering frozen meals etc

This is where I get confused though, as I know we should totally stay at home - but we are only being at home the three of us and then visiting them. We aren't going anywhere else, no shopping or even walking in public places as we have had food delivered (and stood back from the driver).

So surely the risk of us visiting every two weeks is less than the risk they already have from their daily carers?

I can't understand how us visiting puts them more at risk? I'm sorry if this makes me stupid, and maybe it does - but if someone can explain it I'd be grateful.

Also such an awful story about the disease and not being able to be there for family. Absolutely heart breaking for all involved.

@tonyaster

So people who want to exercise are "thick as mince", but its fine for you to have two jobs

I didn't say that at all, so I'm interested as to how you picked that up from my comment......... I'm on about people who are NOT following the guidelines as per the OP. The guidelines state that you can go out for exercise, I didn't say that this wasn't acceptable at all. And no actually, I don't particularly like exercising. I like to be outdoors, visiting local beauty areas but as that's now not allowed, I don't see why I should 'walk around the block' just because the Government said that's what I can do.

Yes, I have 2 part-time jobs. Didn't realise that that was a crime. I don't understand how you see this is a problem, you see, that's how us low paid workers manage to keep our heads above water. DH works full time in a factory, which is CLOSED as per government guidelines. I work in a school part time, which is CLOSED and I'm not rota'd in to cover at the moment. I also have a zero hour contract job in a bar, which again has CLOSED but have shifted us employees to work on a rotary basis so we are providing a service to our local community and so I can still work and get paid something. As my 'main job' is only contracted for a few hours and what I do on top is 'overtime' so not covered, if I drop to furlough pay in my school job, I will receive less than £200 per month, from the £600 I usually earn with overtime Yes DH is furloughed, his factory is closed and he's been offered 80% pay. How is this wrong when the majority of the country is also on this?

Please explain your direct attack at me and why it's a problem I have 2 jobs because I'm genuinely confused. Also, feel free to explain how me working my 2nd job which currently is helping the vulnerable and elderly in my community (you know, like providing a food parcel service, collecting shopping lists which our volunteers are going out and getting for those housebound, and providing friendly phonecalls to those who are isolating and may need a chat) is comparable to 'exercise'.

Are we not allowed to go for a run? I feel like I have been abiding the law (canx cleaner, not allowing friends to stop at our house etc, going to shops when necessary) BUT I have been going out for a 30/40 minute run or walk every day.

It's very frustrating. I'm video calling my daughter who only lives 4 miles away, but I'm watching my neighbour opposite have multiple visits EVERY DAY from her two grown up children.
There is absolutely no reason for them to do so other than them thinking the rules don't apply to them.
It's like fucking Clapham Junction over there.

God I see it as 'Safe at home' rather than being 'Stuck at home'. I have no idea why people can't understand that they could become the carrier for this virus and infect their own family members.

@Boshmama

You don't need to justify it to me. You are making a judgment call, and for all I know you could be right. It is just that most people who aren't following the rules precisely can justify it in some way.

(For reference - I allow my teenage son to leave the house more than once a day. He goes for a 20 min run when he gets up in the morning, and then goes for a 40 min cycle ride with his sister in the afternoon. I know that is against the rules, but I have justified why it doesn't matter to myself. Some people would think that I am very wrong in allowing him to do this - because it isn't following the rules. But I actually just get very quiet in conversations about whether or not my family are following the rules "to the letter")

I went for a drive today in Camden and nearly everyone that I saw out and about was 60+ which was worrying. I thought their families and - failing that - volunteers would bring them what they need so they could stay indoors. I worry a lot of elderly people are not being properly cared for and may be a bit cavalier. I saw a very old man panhandling at car windows which must have been desperation but didn’t seem safe. I saw a very elderly woman being wheeled out to an ambulance with an oxygen mask. That was shocking. Won’t be going out again for a while except for a jog or quick shop.

We are staying in. Popped out for a walk around the park around the corner on Friday and felt almost paranoid about seeing other People. The few people I did see were dog walkers and parents. Everyone was polite and keeping an eye out for others. It's horrible being stuck at home and sad at times - my daughter recently had her birthday and had no visitors but we made do with a video call from her grandparent. The thought of passing something on to someone else, especially my parents or partner who is in the vulnerable category is far more upsetting than having to stay indoors. FFS when a Conservative government tell everyone to stop working and start giving out handouts you know it has to be serious

@Tonyaster

As the OP posted 'Some of my friends just cannot seem to stay at home, just carrying on as if the rules don't apply to them. I don't get it'

This is what my 'thick as mince' comment was aimed at. People who carry on like the rules don't apply to them. Teenagers going out in groups and gathering around parks, riding around the estates in groups on their bikes. People going out for no other reason than because they feel that the rules don't apply - ie, those families who all flocked to our local beaches last week when the weather was beautiful and queuing for fish and chips...........

I'll tell you something for nothing though, I WISH I didn't have to go to work and was locked down completely, risking bring the virus back to my high risk DH & child, however, the phonecalls we make to some of our local people are the only phonecalls they may get that day to break their day up! I don't particularly want to be driving to and from work for my shifts but someones gotta do it!

I told my friend I was going out for my daily run and she says run to my house and we can sit in different rooms for a catch up. Ffs.

I have not been out for just over a week now, not even to excercise. I am asthmatic and have read the reports of people who have been really ill with it and described it feeling like soneone is stranglingbthem and they can't breath. I know what it feels like not being able to breath properly do will diligently stay in for 12 weeks. One family member taking small dogvto walk every other day and rest of time throwing ball for it to chase in large garden.

I want to follow the rules but have to go to the office 2 days a week. I can do my job remotely and did do last week.

I am not a key worker.

Next door neighbours one side have been poorly with COVID (they think, not been tested though but been v poorly) our 85 year old NDN the other side still goes out every day to see her friends and do their shopping for them (they're younger than her but in poor health). When i asked her why she still goes out every day to see them she said she's lived a good life, survived the war and doesn't care if she gets it and dies. Just wont listen ... 😭

These are probably the people who think 'it's ok I won't get the virus' not thinking that they could be potentially picking it up unbeknowingly and passing it on to countless others who then do the same ad infinitum.

It also does not occur to them that if/when they or member of family or friend becomes ill (NOT from virus) or has an accident that the NHS will then be very hard pushed to give them the same amount of care or even find them a bed.

Their brains cannot comprehend that the bigger picture is not just about them, it's about everyone.

I don’t know how some people find it so hard. Key workers excepted. The last two weeks I’ve been out for one dog walk a day, the teens have been out for one bout of exercise a day, and dh went to the supermarket this evening for the first time in two weeks. Apart from that we’ve been at home 🤷🏼‍♀️ Sure we miss our friends and family, and my daughters even more so, but it’s hardly a great sacrifice in the big picture.

We are 100% following the spirit of the guidance - ie not mixing with anybody from friends and family, only doing essential visits to public places ( I x supermarket shop and 1 x pharmacist visit so far). My DC ARE going outside the house more than once a day on their bikes. They are not with any other DC, not going to parks, touching only their own bikes and the ground surface! We don't live in an urban area. They are old enough to understand zero interaction and keeping distance with other humans in the very unlikely event they see anybody. I don't consider that to be 'selfish' as it poses zero risk to us or anybody else. If I make them stay at home - there IS a risk of injury due to mental health issues (which one of my DC has,). We are under social services at the moment because of it.

Yes, I'm following the rules to the letter and why wouldn't I?
I don't want to catch this dreaded virus, nor do I wish to spread it.

I am a key worker but I became ill last week (I have now done my 7 days isolation)

I have left the house once in a week today to go to a small local petrol station where I waited until it was empty of other customers to go and buy some milk and bread as we have none

The children have taken the dog out round the street about 7pm most evenings for half an hour and avoided everyone else and adhered to the 2m rule

I’m not a saint I have to go back to work soon but it has not been that hard to stay in for us all except for the quick local daily dog walk. We all downloaded apps to talk to people on and

we already had made sure we had food

I've nothing to add from what others have said.

I've noticed in my town that everyone seems to behave all week and then they're all out on a Friday to get their drinks/snacks for the weekend.

I'm the opposite... I'm so scared of being fined I don't even want to go out to shop!

As bonkers as it sounds I'm really glad I'm a keyworker because I would not cope well in lock down for long and I am happier knowing I'm contributing.

My in-laws said they did not care and accepted the risk, and we should come visit.

We explained we would not be able to live with the guilt if we unwittingly passed it on to them.

We had to make it about us, and our guilt, to protect them

But it worked and they accept it

Instead we FaceTime a lot

shinyredbus

Some people are just stupid. We go out, two kids, two dogs once a day for about 20 minutes. In that 20 minutes, one of us races into waitrose to see if we can get anything we need

So some people are stupid and 'racing' into waitrose on a daily basis isn't? And by 'racing', do you mean too quick for corona to get you out for you to pass it on?

I’ll admit to breaking the rules. I’ve been seeing my neighbor nearly every day since she was widowed 4years ago. Her daughter moved to Australia and her son lives in London. (He hasn’t visited recently)

So we are separate house holds and we mix, shes not at work and neither am I. We walk together, have take aways and keep each other sane. She’s also my babysitter if I need to leave dd and go to the shops.
My parents are stuck in New Zealand for the foreseeable and No one else can see me as they can’t leave the house.
The risk? She has a lodger she lives with, he’s a care taker in a school. He’s very careful and he and she don’t mix at all apart from saying hello in passing. He doesn’t use the common areas of the house and didn’t before this, keeps himself to himself. Still it is a risk I worry about.

So hold my hands up, I am breaking the rules.