to suggest that many newcomers to this site are put off by the cliqueness on this site?

[Somewhatdismayed]

I think lots of people (including myself) have started to change their names and have hesitated to post recently, because they are genuinely put off by the cliques on this site. If someone, usually a newbie, dares to disagree with one of the "annointed few" even in quite a mild way, their cohorts jump on the bandwagon and a virtual strain of bullying commences.

Many of the participants in recent arguments can be divided in to two camps: the old set and those that dare to disagree with them.

Everyone welcomes and enjoys lively debate but I guess this is a plea to old timers to try and reflect on how you come across. If you had been flamed or criticised very strongly the very first time you posted, how would you feel?

I've also noticed that if someone new or fairly anonymous makes a point earlier in a thread it's ignored, but then if one of the 'elite group' makes the same point later on - everyone notices and praises them for it.

Someone actually said on a thread yesterday that conversing on Mumsnet used to be like going to a dinner party and now it's like eating at McDonalds

How snobbish and elitist is that? Please can you try and be a bit more welcoming and conciliatory to newcomers?

Stands back and waits to be flamed ...

Apologies for spelling mistake in thread title - cliqueyness

Gets popcorn and settles back

And I'm afraid flamed you will be. This thread gets churrd out every so often with pridictable results.

churned .

predictable

The thing is mumsnet used to be full of interesting discussions not just pop culture and I suspect the oldies see that disappearing and are saddened by it.

There are loads of parenting sites full of hmmm tabloid type threads and mumsnet used to be distinctly broadsheet. Not so much now tbh.

You are about to be told in no uncertain terms that you are unreasonable.

But as far as I am concerned, you are both entitled to to feel the way you do and to post stating your feelings.

Good luck to you.

I've been here since 2002 and never worked out who the cliques are tbh. I think it's all in the mind.

It is the bloody MmC thread that are causing all the problems.

Very diplomatic JV

groundhog day

who are the anointed few? the cohorts? elite group? oh yes, the posters who are more well known, articulate, forceful than others, but so what? that is life ... the ones who lead by example and stand up for themselves and mumsnet as a whole, the ones who say what they think and what they believe

this site is huge, absolutely huge, you can avoid the cliques, or start your own!!!

dear op. you are spending too much time on mn and taking it too seriously go outside for a walk in the sun.

no flames here - you are as entitled to your opinion as any one else. MN is a diversional activity i fit in around work (eg time on PC having a wee skive) or at home.

honestly dont know about cliques etc

certain topics always get everyone going and they are

SAHM/Working Mum
State school/Private school
Breast/Formula feeding
Vb/CSection birth

i love reading posts - please dont be put off. after all it is supposed to be equitable

I agree OP. I am a very contraversial newbie and have been "flamed" from my first post to the very last. I used to get quite upset, but i dont anymore as i know its the same few names that are personally attacking me for having an opinion of my own!

Cliqueyness exists? Oh god YES!

Hi somewhatdismayed...I'm a relative newbie, word of advice...thicken up your skin, don't take things personnaly and keep posting. You will have days when you want to flounce but you'll come back in the end...we all do

I agree with you (but then am a newbie myself).

There are some old-timers on here who are lovely and very welcoming of newcomers. But there are also those who can be very aggressive and unwelcoming.

Then there are those who post: 'Oh, it's not like it used to be... I don't like it here any more... where have all the intelligent posters gone...'. I accept that this is a genuine reflection of how some people feel, but it's pretty rude to the rest of us. I think these posters forget (or don't care) that their laments are being read by lots of people, not just their mates.

If it's a predictable post ComeOveneer then surely that means other people feel the same way?

Thank you JV.

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

I'm sorry you feel that way, dismayed.

This stuff happens:

"I've also noticed that if someone new or fairly anonymous makes a point earlier in a thread it's ignored, but then if one of the 'elite group' makes the same point later on - everyone notices and praises them for it. "

It isn't cliqueness. It is enevitable people who havebeen posting for a long time are more readily recognised and over time they make friends with particular posters who share the same ideals etc. It is very easy in a fast moving thread that someone's post is overlooked only for it to be noticed when posted by someone else. I have learnt not to take it too seriously/prsonally and develop a thicker skin. If I'm honest these threads really irk me, it reeks of playground pettiness.

Haychee there are now plenty of posters with similiar opinions to your for you to form a clique with.

Well...

It isn't like it used to be!

I can't see what is wrong with saying that if it's true

It used to be a small place, everyone knew everyone. Now it has grown out of all recognition and is mahooosive. It is bound to change. If new people take offence at that then could I suggest that it is often their reaction rather than the intention of the person making the comment - I really don't think it is meant nastily most of the time.

by 'welcomgin and conciliatory' do you perhaps mean 'let them post any old load of shite unopposed'?

when joining any forum it is good manners and sense to lurk a bit and get the hang rather than just go ahead posting. and people who really think about their posts or are consistently funny or intersting etc will usually be respected because they have earned it, not because of the length of time they have been here. what is your definition of an 'old timer' anyway?