to suggest that many newcomers to this site are put off by the cliqueness on this site?

[Somewhatdismayed]

I think lots of people (including myself) have started to change their names and have hesitated to post recently, because they are genuinely put off by the cliques on this site. If someone, usually a newbie, dares to disagree with one of the "annointed few" even in quite a mild way, their cohorts jump on the bandwagon and a virtual strain of bullying commences.

Many of the participants in recent arguments can be divided in to two camps: the old set and those that dare to disagree with them.

Everyone welcomes and enjoys lively debate but I guess this is a plea to old timers to try and reflect on how you come across. If you had been flamed or criticised very strongly the very first time you posted, how would you feel?

I've also noticed that if someone new or fairly anonymous makes a point earlier in a thread it's ignored, but then if one of the 'elite group' makes the same point later on - everyone notices and praises them for it.

Someone actually said on a thread yesterday that conversing on Mumsnet used to be like going to a dinner party and now it's like eating at McDonalds

How snobbish and elitist is that? Please can you try and be a bit more welcoming and conciliatory to newcomers?

Stands back and waits to be flamed ...

cheers dropdeadfred, you are hereby my favourite mumnetter

Message withdrawn

you cared enough to post though Cod

cod - you obviously missed the irony in that!!!

I've only been on MN for a few weeks. How can you tell who is in a clique? Even when I remember to read the posters name, I've forgotten it 2 seconds later.

Clique isn't the right word. Surely if people have been on it for x number of years, they're going to have shared experiences, therefore get to know each other better. I've only posted a few times,and have no problems. Everyone is lovely.

What an arselicker

I'm a newbie and although I've changed my name a couple of times, I feel welcome. In fact I'd completely addicted already. Used to post on a birth board on a certain other website and got bullied off it for being honest and perhaps slightly feisty... that's why I like it here!

I take the point about the difference between some people knowing others for a long time v cliques.

In my experience though in RL most people ARE willing to give you a fair go if you are new to a situation.

I'm not a habitual complainer or whinger. I'm human. Like others, I come on Mumsnet because life with dc can sometimes be boring, lonely and a bit crap. Then life on Mumsnet gets a bit crap too!

I was making a protest about the tone of some of the threads and some of the unecessary nastiness, especially to newbies.

Having seen the other threads in AIBU which mimic this one, I'm glad I made the decision to "hide" behind a name change. Yes, I'm a coward.

Thanks for the reasoned responses though.

Oh come out

at least we will remember you now

F&Z

cocolepew
"I've only been on MN for a few weeks. How can you tell who is in a clique? Even when I remember to read the posters name, I've forgotten it 2 seconds later."

I am pretty much the same - I rarely look at names. I think that some people get the vibe from the get-go and fit in well - there are lots of newbies who just slot in and you think they've been around forever because they obviously 'get it'

was coco the girl skunk?

Only read the OP and a few responses.

I am reasonably new to MN and have only once had a rude(ish) response, but nothing to make me upset. I am an adult and I can cope with honest opinions of others, even when I don't agree with them.

Obviously, there are MNetters who have been here for years and they know each other well, have met up in RL and they respond to each others posts. They also support each other, which is completely normal for friends.

I like the honesty on MN, the humour and the help and support available for those who need it.

If you don't like it, go and form your own clique on another website.

Message withdrawn

What I worry about is offending someone by turning off the computer and then 5 minutes later someone asks a question that could be aimed at me. So if it ever happens, sorry in advance.

Don't know Aitch, I used to call my dd2 it when she was a baby