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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is torturing single people?

498 replies

VirtualHugsAllRound · 26/03/2020 08:55

Even if it's intermittent lockdown and social distancing... Both mean you're not supposed to meet with family and friends.

If you live alone this is torture. Isolation is used as torture/punishment fgs!
We're always being shown that families are more important, that we've failed by not having a partner and reproducing. Now we are expected to live in isolation for months on end.

And at the end of it, no one is going to say "well done for undergoing months of torture to protect others" or support us with healing from the trauma this will cause. As usual, just expected to suck it up.

I cant do this.

OP posts:
HairyHoraceHaggis · 26/03/2020 09:58

And people who have mental health problems before this STILL HAVE THEM.

“Be grateful for what you have”/“Pull yourself together”/“Try a positive attitude” did not help people suffering from clinical depression before this, and won’t now either.

Some of the posts I have read on this thread are disgusting and amount to bullying someone who is already down.

I am in isolation, as a high risk person, and still feel more worried by the venomous side I am seeing of people than I do about my DD or I getting ill.

Purplecatshopaholic · 26/03/2020 09:58

@VirtualHugsAllRound, I totally understand. When I developed awful anxiety a couple of years ago I went for a period of 4 months where I literally could not leave the house. I have never experienced anything like it. This current situation is undoubtedly bringing that time back to the front of my mind. I have learned various techniques to help and am working hard to stay healthy. Staying connected with people is so important - I am on Skype calls all day for work so am making sure I put on make up and wear smartish clothes (at least from the waist up!) Stay positive op, this too shall pass

mindproject · 26/03/2020 09:58

It's not competitiveness. As a single person, I feel very, very sorry for all those people trapped indoors with people they don't like very much. I think that is so much harder than being on your own. Sending Flowers to all those people. I hope you all have a room you can escape to on your own.

Syncrows · 26/03/2020 09:59

Maybe some people are made to feel like pariahs.

Maybe some people would just rather have a partner and a family?

SnakePlant · 26/03/2020 10:00

I don’t know anyone who is finding this easy OP. Oh actually wait on, my DB . Happy marriage, nice home with garden and a shared interest that they do from home and which takes up a massive amount of time and brings them a lot of enjoyment (before you ask, no it’s not sex ).

Other than them everyone is finding it tough for various reasons - unhappy relationships, single, live in tiny flats, major financial issues, elderly, sick parents etc).

We just have to get through it. It’s shit but it has to be done. I’m in a 1 bed flat, live alone, have a loud neighbour and 2 blocks of flats are scheduled to be constructed opposite mine. I’m hoping the work will be postponed but I have my doubts. This is a crazy situation but at least we know that there are millions of people around the world struggling too and some in truly hideous conditions. Don’t think of weeks or months. Deal with one day at a time. Allow yourself good days and bad. You can do this OP. We all can because the only other option is too high a price to pay 💐

EmeraldShamrock · 26/03/2020 10:01

With every sympathy to the op, I think people were responding to the opening post which didn't mention mh issues (it was framed more as a singles v families thing) Agreed. I think the drip feeds of information didnt help.
I wish you all the best OP. If you're already signed up as an NHS volunteer and not at risk, offer to help. Smile
This thread is triggering I think you need to move your updates to your OP if HQ can help. All the best. Flowers

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 26/03/2020 10:01

It’s a short period of having to stay home. There’s plenty of means of keeping in touch with others that mean other people are safe. The lockdown is to keep everyone safe.

I saw something yesterday about teen groups and them needing socialisation, no they need to reach adulthood and see their friends later.

Ilovemypantry · 26/03/2020 10:01

@Crystal87
No, you are not supposed to have contact with anyone outside the people you live with.

ClientQueen · 26/03/2020 10:03

It's a bit shit, especially when the weather is so lovely and I can't go out for a walk knowing it's 12 weeks alone. I would like a hug mostly

DuLANGDuLANGDuLANG · 26/03/2020 10:03

Not RTFT but some of my friends are signing up to a thing called ‘Houseparty’

houseparty.com/

It allows for more casual hanging out than a normal phone call or 1-2-1 video chat.

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 26/03/2020 10:04

I'm getting a bit fed up with people who are struggling with this for a myriad of reasons being told that it could be worse. I'm sure they know that. However, we are all allowed to feel how we feel and not be compared to frontline workers and so on.

OP lots of love and hugs to you. Yes, I do understand how shit it is to be totally isolated and you shouldn't be berated for how you feel, or be told that your suffering is less. Take care.

Paperdaisychain · 26/03/2020 10:05

Yes I think it must be had for people who are single especially if they don’t want to be. Just hand on in there and hopefully it will be over soon. I saw that some people are doing online video dates which might be nice?

Kraejka · 26/03/2020 10:06

You are obviously struggling with your MH. I'm not in the Uk so I'm not sure anymore who the best people to contact are. If you are having suicidal thoughts you should probably contact your GP for a phone consultation to see what could be done to help.

I am single too and I don't find this torture. I'd find this far worse if I was stuck in my small flat with my ex-partner for example. I am finding lots of positive things to do and enjoying the time to do this.
However, I don't have any mental health issues and don't need to be around people in order to stay well.
I know skype etc is not the same as seeing people in person but definitely start there and maybe confide in a couple of people you can trust about how you are feeling.

Camopetals · 26/03/2020 10:07

It really does matter if you die. The world would quite literally never be the same again. The world is a richer place for having you in it.

And you will be and are being thanked for staying in isolation, it is absolutely morally the right thing to do and you're helping to protect the extra high risk group like my sister. Thank you Flowers

Nettleskeins · 26/03/2020 10:07

Client, you can go out for a walk/exercise, even if you cannot go into shops. It really helps to greet people, outside at 4m. Makes world of difference to physically interact even if is across a big open space.

Fairywater · 26/03/2020 10:07

Can you not meet a friend for a walk? The rules are that no more than 2 people be out together in public, excluding those who live together.

No, of course not! Two people from the same household only.

diddl · 26/03/2020 10:09

I thought that you could be out for a walk with a friend if you kept 2m distance & met where you were going to walk?

1forsorrow · 26/03/2020 10:10

It can be bloody irritating being isolated with someone. My husband seems permanently annoyed with just about anything and everything at the moment. I think I'd like a few weeks on my own.

He'd probably say the same thing.

Crystal87 · 26/03/2020 10:10

Palavah I didn't say I was doing that though did I? I've got a large family I can go for walks with and will do until told otherwise.

Dagnabit · 26/03/2020 10:11

I do sympathise, although I do pretty well on my own - I often reminisce of the days I lived in my own flat! I will struggle with staying in with my husband and 2 children all the time, to be honest. I’m an introvert who needs their own space. I will get through this and so will you - try and find things to occupy yourself and do lots of video calls to friends and family. Keep your chin up Flowers

madcatladyforever · 26/03/2020 10:12

I'm loving it, peace and quiet with my cat. I find other people exhausting. Solitary confinement would not bother me in the least.
But then I'm not like other people.

ClientQueen · 26/03/2020 10:12

@Nettleskeins I'm high risk so no walks Sad

Crystal87 · 26/03/2020 10:14

The rules are that only 2 people in public excluding those from the same household. I've got four children and according to the rules that is acceptable as we all live in the same household. As long as you stay away from others.

IntermittentParps · 26/03/2020 10:14

Can you not meet a friend for a walk? The rules are that no more than 2 people be out together in public, excluding those who live together.

No, of course not! Two people from the same household only.

Hang on, no, EVERYONE from a household can go out together (e.g. my household of three could all go to the park together), but otherwise only two people –so I could 'meet' one friend in the park, staying two metres apart, of course, but my DP couldn't join us.

LifeImplosionImminent · 26/03/2020 10:14

I hadn't realised how anti social I was till this. I'm loving the isolation.

Been putting off going to the shop because it's like xmas shopping without the stock. I am running low on ketchup though...so gonna have to do a dash at some point.