To think this is torturing single people?

[VirtualHugsAllRound]

Even if it's intermittent lockdown and social distancing... Both mean you're not supposed to meet with family and friends.

If you live alone this is torture. Isolation is used as torture/punishment fgs!
We're always being shown that families are more important, that we've failed by not having a partner and reproducing. Now we are expected to live in isolation for months on end.

And at the end of it, no one is going to say "well done for undergoing months of torture to protect others" or support us with healing from the trauma this will cause. As usual, just expected to suck it up.

I cant do this.

I write this as a doctor who has not had a day off since 8 March and who has been working 14 hour days...

.. the OP is allowed to find this hard. It is hard being alone when you are scared.

There is always someone who has it harder. You could tell me I have nothing to complain about, because I'm not desperately ill on a ventilator, like at least 2 of my colleagues. You could say that even they are relatively well off, because at least they are getting good care. There is always someone worse off. . But I'm still finding my situation difficult and the OP is perfectly entitled to feel the same about hers.

I haven't talked to anyone in person except this one friend, for two and a half weeks.

I'm so sorry and I would give you a big germy hug if I could.

My father passed away recently. A couple of days before he told me ‘dying is a lonely business’.

Thankfully I was able to be there with him. All he wanted was for someone to hold his hand and be with him.

I hate being alone at the moment but compared to more people dying, and many of those would die alone I am going to have to find a way to adapt.

I’m sorry it’s shit; yes it’s affecting people’s mental health and people are feeling isolated but there isn’t an alternative.

Well done to MrsNoah and good points - there is always someone worse off. I am sure the many people who have already lost their jobs, livelihoods and much else due to being laid off (and unable to get through to universal credit/on its website) are still feeling a lot better off than those dying in hospital or at home.

The ones I feel most sorry for at the moment are those ill at home who then cannot seem always to get ambulances or convince the ambulance to take them in and then die at home.

Sorry, not had a chance to read all of this as quick lunch time from work.

Sorry you are feeling so isolated. Are you fit and well? Can you volunteer to be part of the NHS volunteers? Or to do shopping for vulnerable people in your community? We have neighbourhood FB groups across our town to try to make sure no-one is left alone and ill.
I know it's not the same as seeing friends and family but involves some social contact and will really help others. If you suffer from depression it could maybe help you with feelings of worth.

apologies if this has been suggested and not an option for you.

Its physical contact that gave me a lwobble yesterday. My partner and I don't live together and we've decided to stay apart as he needs to care for his elderly mother. My parents are in a vulnerable group as well.

I'm speaking to him obviously and friends on video chat, I've done an online pub quiz, with friends and my hubby via Zoom but the thought of not having a hug, or being touched by another person for months did make me a bit teary.

Its not competitive shitness, the lack of empathy from some people is sad.

Perhaps you would find it helpful to set yourself a long challenge to complete during this isolation. Artistic activities in particular will help you to express your feelings. Write a novel, your childhood memoirs or a book of poems, knit a jumper, crochet a blanket, make a patchwork quilt, redesign your garden, paint a mural on your bedroom wall, work on your fitness or go on a diet, start a daily blog or journal, learn a new language online, make a list of 50 books and read them, find 50 stones in the garden and paint each with a different design, research your family history on Ancestry, scan all your family photos onto the computer...

god typos....

wobble
hobby

I agree, I’m
Not sure why the government hasn’t pursued a policy of isolation for the vulnerable only. This will have such a huge effect on kids education, the lonely and isolated, jobs, relationships etc. Huge unintended consequences and frankly deaths that will never count in the statistics.

Must be quite hard for hard core sex addicts too I suppose

Hey, OP. I'm sorry you are feeling so bad during this time. If you are finding yourself having suicide ideation, please reach out to someone. We're all locked in a pretty shit situation right now, but everyone deals with things differently, so please ignore anyone invalidating your feelings. X

I'm speaking to him obviously and friends on video chat, I've done an online pub quiz, with friends and my hubby via Zoom but the thought of not having a hug, or being touched by another person for months did make me a bit teary.

Can you not meet a friend for a walk? The rules are that no more than 2 people be out together in public, excluding those who live together. I took this to mean you can meet one person you don't live with.
Why would you think that? The rules are very clear you only walk with your own household.

Actually Xenia I think they'll be doing well. Porn Hub has made their premium subscription free for the lockdown.

I wish I had skills useful on the front line. I'd be an HCA if they'd have me... cos it doesn't matter if I get it and die.
I am more likely to die of suicide now though. I was near the edge anyway and coping by having nice times with friends.
Sorry if this has been said but why don’t you sign up to be an official volunteer.

At this moment in time I am actually envying single child free people. It’s the worry of my children and grandchildren that’s the worst thing, If it was just me I’d get by much better.

It's shit but it is what it is. We have to suck it up. Do you have friends/family that you can video chat with? Build yourself a routine. Basically I've set myself this on my days off.

8am up and shower.
9am breakfast.
10am go for my one walk of the day if I want to but I don't every day because before this, I maybe went for one walk a week.
Watch tv/tidy till lunch
1.30pm make lunch. I'm really getting into cooking to while away some time.
3pm do an exercise/yoga video on YouTube.
4pm a bit of learning, I'm trying to learn Spanish atm so am using duolingo/online resources
6pm make dinner

Then my evening is mine. A routine is really helping me to get through the days.

You're only in physical isolation so nothing stopping you from calling your family & friends, joining chat groups online, video calling ppl etc
So still lots of ways to keep in touch and have social interaction

RollaCola its not lack of empathy to call out hysteria when you see it.

Yes of course this is stressful and difficult for a huge number of people for a variety of reasons, each situation is difficult and plenty of people are in truly awful situations.

But the OP said it was "torture for single people". I do empathise with the OP and appreciate it must be very difficult for her but she is essentially the one playing the competitive misery card. Being single doesn't make this any worse than it does for people in any other marital state. And indeed there are many positives to it which we should really be celebrating when we can.

OP you don't deserve some of the comments on here.

My mum is on her own and struggles terribly with loneliness and depression, she needs to be around people, especially me and the children.

She has said she thinks it could make her hurt herself being so alone. I offered for her to stay with me but we don't really have enough space and it would probably be very stressful. I am calling her all the time,
FaceTime with the kids etc...but I just know how hard it is for her and it breaks my heart.

I totally understand what you are saying and how you are feeling xx

its not lack of empathy to call out hysteria when you see it.

But the OP said it was "torture for single people".

Yeah, but the OP clearly has MH issues. So maybe it is torture for her.

Probably not for all single people though.

I'm really sorry OP, I can't imagine being on my own you really do have my sympathy. My 75 year old Mum lives on her own 100 miles away from me and I'm heavily pregnant and I know she is upset about the situation. Luckily my brothers live closer but apart from dropping off essentials for her it's not the same as having face to face time and meals together as a family.

She's setting up skype though and trying to set up a remote quilting "get together" with her friend over the road, do you have any single friends in similar situations you can get in contact with to support one another?

Being single doesn't make this any worse than it does for people in any other marital state

It does for the OP, that’s what empathy is about - recognising someone’s difficulties and maybe being sensitive when they’re sounding off on a forum.

I agree. Not surevwhat rhe answer is but im work8ng ft, two terns, no car, lot of anxiety, trying to kerp house stocked 😭😢
Life feels hard and stressful right now.

@oakmaiden - exactly

But for others as well, you can acknowledge a reason its particularly shit for one person or group without insisting on proving its worse for someone else.