To think this is torturing single people?

[VirtualHugsAllRound]

Even if it's intermittent lockdown and social distancing... Both mean you're not supposed to meet with family and friends.

If you live alone this is torture. Isolation is used as torture/punishment fgs!
We're always being shown that families are more important, that we've failed by not having a partner and reproducing. Now we are expected to live in isolation for months on end.

And at the end of it, no one is going to say "well done for undergoing months of torture to protect others" or support us with healing from the trauma this will cause. As usual, just expected to suck it up.

I cant do this.

A british girl has committed suicide due to Coronavirus isolation.

It IS very hard on the mental health. Come on here if you need support.

Link: www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2020/03/25/british-teen-dies-after-suicide-attempt-due-to-coronavirus-fears/amp/

OP can you sign up to volunteer?

I really wish I was on lockdown by myself instead of with two whingy kids.

I know what torture is

My Husbands funeral was yesterday. I was not allowed to attend as my son tested positive for this virus.
He does not live with me but as I saw him last week, I have to self isolate. I am so so lonely and heartbroken

So sorry Sadbadglad

@Amymayapple - support on this thread? You are joking!

@userxx that is true. We need to set up a support thread

The only way to make this crappy situation a positive one is to change how you perceive it. Either you have 12 weeks of total isolation not seeing loved ones in person which sounds unbearable or you see it as you have 12 weeks to sort or plan to sort anything and everything you have been putting off for years. Do not watch the news, focus on what you can control and take a form of exercise every day are the best bits of advice I have seen throughout this. 12 weeks goes quickly. 12 weeks yesterday was New Year’s Eve! It will be torture if you treat it as torture

This. wholeheartedly. It's the only way.
And i say that as someone who has been self isolating lone since 11th March

@Sadbadglad

I am so sorry for your loss. That is an absolutely awful situation. It was my Mum's funeral just over a fortnight ago and if I hadn't been able to go, it would have felt like torture.

I guess it depends how introverted/extroverted you are. I'm generally a bit of a hermit anyway, so not finding it too bad. I'm getting a bit phobic about going outside though, just have to hope that goes away when this is all over.

@Sadbadglad

for you. Sorry for your loss. That's an awful situation to cope with.

I just feel that five weeks is so terribly LONG.

My friend in spain texted me and said that they are on lockdown until April 11th.

Here, in Ireland we will be on lockdown until April 19th. It feels so long!

What is the official date in the UK?

April 19th - will be five weeks total of lockdown here

sadbadglad so so sorry for your loss.

I'm posting again OP @VirtualHugsAllRound to boost the supportive messages which I think are now starting to bury the mean ones from people who have never known a hard time.
Hope you're ok. I know everyone has different past times/hobbies, but if you have any nice places to walk around at the moment (in this sun!), it might help a tiny bit. I know it's tough, and some people on here do understand. x

Three days in and I wish I was living in a single household.

SilverySurfer I simply don't understand someone saying being single is torture.
The bottom line is only you can decide how you live your life. You can either enjoy life to the full or sink in a quagmire of self made misery - I know which I prefer.

I didn't say being single was torture. I said isolation, not even seeing another person for months, is torture. I mean, there's rules about keeping prisoners in solitary confinement and so on because it's recognised as so detrimental to mental health.

Being single is my normal state of being. I never understood the rush to settle down, or cohabit etc - or staying in bad relationships rather than being single. But that's not the same as hoping I'd meet someone and have a family at some point.

I've done my best to enjoy life to the full (despite great difficulties), for eg. travel a lot in my 20s. Although I wish I'd been able to start a family like others around me, I've tried to make the most of being childless eg. had planned to go to several festivals this summer.

But the living life to the full and throwing yourself into enjoying things as a singleton involves a lot of contact with other people!

Oh OP I am so sorry that people have responded to you in this way, particularly when you've told us how low you are mentally. Please ignore their harsh comments. I understand what you are saying, this is a lonely time and I've wished I had a family around me also. I get it.

We do not need to trump one another here. If people are hurting we should be able to offer some support and love. Some of these comments are enough to trigger someone who is already suicidal badly. Be kind people. Just because there is worse out there it doesn't invalidate OPs feelings.

Lots of love and if you need to talk to a fellow lonely person feel free to DM me x

I do think it's hard, particularly for the single people who live alone and rely on that face to face contact with the outside world. You can do this though op. Use facetime / phone calls and keep strong.

The only way to make this crappy situation a positive one is to change how you perceive it.

Which is great for some people, others suffering from depresssion and anxiety not so much.

I’m an introvert but months without any contact would be difficult.

“Torture” is overkill and there are obviously people in far worse situations to a healthy single person but I was thinking this morning as I was playing with my DC in the garden how lucky I am that this situation comes now when I have DH and DC. I had quite a few years of living in different flats on my own and honestly it would have been very depressing.

damnthatanxiety NZ has a 'nominated friend' system for this. single people can partner up with a nominated friend. Neither people can see anyone else but they can travel to one another's house as they are basically just creating a dual bubble. They need to live close by. Makes sense

This sounds like a really sensible idea!! That would be great here. I've found out someone I know loosely (best friend knows them a lot better) is also alone at this time, and very close by...

@Sadbadglad. There aren’t the right words for this but I am so sorry for what you are going through

There's two separate points here which are being conflated:

a) the loneliness that isolation brings is a very real thing. A lot of people are struggling with mental health and we shoud support them where we possibly can. For people who live alone, and who depend on company, this may seem particularly difficult. For single people who rely extensively on their network especially. I do sympathise and I don't want to minimise this -- we should seek to do everything we can to support others mental health.

b) Saying that this is significantly worse for anyone due to their marital state, and saying is "torture" is hysterical. As long as you are safe, well, have food and support, its an exaggeration to say anything is "torture". There are people in far worse situations than you. And there may well be significant upsides to being single because you're not being forced to spend 24/7 locked indoors with a spouse or partner because, let's face it, this is awful even in a good relationship let alone a bad one.

If you are single its a good time to count your blessings, particularly not being burdened with forced proximity to someone.

I think we should all think about how individuals' situations makes things harder for them and try to be empathetic. But I do think people arguing that their single status makes life significantly worse for them is a bit childish at the moment.

I agree OP, where you say

"There are rules about keeping people in solitary confinement, becaus of the effect on their mental health".

I live in a small town, none of my family or other friends lives near me. I have one good friend here.

All of my other social outlets: meetup.com groups have been stopped.

Everywhere is closed apart from shops.

I haven't talked to anyone in person except this one friend, for two and a half weeks.