To think this is torturing single people?

[VirtualHugsAllRound]

Even if it's intermittent lockdown and social distancing... Both mean you're not supposed to meet with family and friends.

If you live alone this is torture. Isolation is used as torture/punishment fgs!
We're always being shown that families are more important, that we've failed by not having a partner and reproducing. Now we are expected to live in isolation for months on end.

And at the end of it, no one is going to say "well done for undergoing months of torture to protect others" or support us with healing from the trauma this will cause. As usual, just expected to suck it up.

I cant do this.

OP, I am sorry you are having a difficult time . Loneliness and isolation are things which many people just do not empathise with as, despite being a potentially universal experience, it is actually very subjective.
My early experience of loneliness was transformed through listening to teachers of non-dualism and advaita. Osho, Gangaji and Eckhart Tolle have spoken about this experience, and their talks are available on YouTube. It might be a good starting point for exploring radical ways of experiencing being at this time.
Wishing you well, OP.

@JustInCaseCakeHappens the hospital that my aunty was turned away from, had no coronavrius patients at all.

They were refusing to take in any patients, in case there are coronavirus patients in the future.

The whole thing is so badly organised

Op, can you move in with someone, so you become part of their household? Or volunteer for the new nhs volunteer staff. Or other volunteering organisations?

My mum is 75 and stuck on her own in a foreign country. She's been on her own without leaving her flat for 3 weeks now. She hasn't moaned once, is grateful to be able to keep safe and praises those risking their lives on the frontline.

The fact that the entire planet (that's debatable as well grin ) is on lockdown should point out to you that there is a problem above your personal and minor inconvenience.

Are you not aware that some 3 billion people (including the entire continent of India) are currently under a lockdown order?

This is the decision of governments. People can and should continue interrogate the wisdom of this, I would have thought that's obvious enough, on the basis that they are being deprived of their 'human rights'. It is not a minor inconvenience and I am seriously worried that your thinking represents some sizeable chunk of the British public, but I fear that it does.

Can you volunteer?

OP, I opened this thread to say I understand - I live alone too, and even though I quite like solitude I'm also struggling intermittently with not being able to see people, especially as we don't know how long this is going to go on for. But reading some of the 'competitive misery' responses has given me a whole new perspective on the situation - now I'm just counting my blessings that I'm not stuck in isolation with some of you!

You still have phones. You have email. You can watch TV, play games, learn a new language, go for a walk. You aren't completely isolated, you aren't completely locked in.

^ This.

What a surprise. OP posts they’re struggling and people fall over themselves in competitive misery.

If nothing else COVID-19 is showing the revolting nature of many people in many ways.

hang in there OP

@psychomath 😂

Phones , tv, email are not human interaction.

Many of us will not see our elderly parents for five weeks. Many of us are constantly worrying about them
Many of us will not see friends, who don't live near us, for five weeks.

I'm also a single person living alone.

While it's true that it can be a bit boring or lonely sometimes, the more I think about my situation, the more I realise that I'm probably more fortunate than just about anyone I know.

I have no vulnerable household members to worry about.
I have no dependants to feed.
I've no children to entertain, educate, interfere with my work or just generally drive me crazy with misbehaviour.
Living alone and working from home means that I have been able to very effectively social distance.
No partner to annoy me or fall out with.
No abusive partner who I'm stuck with.

I know the next few months will be challenging but it doesn't take much imagination to think of people that will be suffering worse than you are.

@penisbeakers I am sorry you are also finding this hard - genuinely. I am also immunocompromised (asplenic), among other worries, and I know how hard it is. However, I still don't think that's a good reason to try and make the OP feel worse.

Yoga! Do some yoga! It's like medicine for the mind. There's some on Youtube x

@psychomath spot on, thanks for the laugh!

Oh @VirtualHugsAllRound I understand! Ignore anyone giving yoga hard time. I’m single too, I have my DS but he’s only 1 so not the same as adult company and my friends were keeping me going as well. I’m sure you friends with children do want to talk to you as much as you want to talk to them, I know I wish I could have some time to speak to friends, but you’re right about them being busy - kids are hard.

Yes, I’ve been told to ‘suck it up’ many times on MN already, it’s a phrase I hate because it’s so dismissive and lacks compassion. That is what we’re expected to do and it’s wrong.

It’s not the same but feel free to PM me anytime

Didn't some one just commit suicide from isolation. It is a serious thing.

I am also starting to feel severely depressed and anxious from isolation. I am going to have to really try to keep on top of my mental health every day.

I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time.

Try to remember that this is hard on everyone, and is not something done just to single you out.

It is hard OP. Excruciatingly for some people, mildly inconvenient for others.

I, aged 41 having never felt the need for antidepressants have now had to go on them, as much to keep myself 'up' for my kids as for me. The side effects after 10 days are now making me question if they are better than feeling miserable! But I will plough on.

The sun is shining, my kids are relatively happy considering and we're taking it day by day. I am so grateful to all the key workers and those on the frontline and I pray for those with sick relatives unable to see them and very much for the people in awful, sometimes violent domestic situations. Thinking of those people makes me feel sick to the stomach.

As for being single, I spoke to my mum the other day whom I miss terribly. She has lived alone for 20 years following 2 violent marriages, the memories of which will haunt me forever. We spoke about how long this will go on for and not being able to see one another and her just having the dog for company. She remembered those awful, awful days when she was married to a miserable violent bully and sighed a huge sigh of relief that she was now alone and had to answer to no one.

It is shitty OP, but it's not always better to be around people.

www.google.com/amp/s/amp.usatoday.com/amp/2871949001

There is a USA today article here saying "feelings of suicide are amplified during a pandemic"

It is a unique time of isolation + worry about other people.

Take care of your mental health everyone

I lived alone for several years and whilst I mostly loved it, there were times when it was very isolating indeed. Mostly when I couldn't get out and about and/or when I was sick or worried.

I can well imagine that the current set up is very difficult indeed, OP. As it is for so many people (not a competition). I really hope you can find some solace and peace to help you through...

If nothing else COVID-19 is showing the revolting nature of many people in many ways.

This ^

Selfish, entitled, self-absorbed twats. So disappointing.

Actually I think for many people loneliness is torture...it's incredibly damaging for mental health. Don't minimize it.

Yes, this. I was single and living alone for years after my husband died and it definitely felt like torture. Every day I relived the worst moments of my life, over and over again and telling me to snap out of it, declutter, volunteer or learn a fucking new hobby really would not have made an impact.
Telling me that others have it worse, think of the people on the front line, think of parents - would have just re-instated my view that as a single, childless person my life wasn't worth as much as those with families and so what would be the point of living.

I'm ok now but I got through my trauma during a different time with lots and lots of understanding friends and family to visit me. These circumstances are so different that I dread to think what I would have done if I was going through that time now. Now I have different worries and stresses - but nothing as bad as those days.

Why can't people have some empathy and sympathy for anyone going through a difficult time at the moment. Is there now some hierarchy of importance for understanding?

The loneliest I've ever felt in my life was during the last 5 years of marriage with my ex-husband. It was like an actual physical pain.