To think this is torturing single people?

[VirtualHugsAllRound]

Even if it's intermittent lockdown and social distancing... Both mean you're not supposed to meet with family and friends.

If you live alone this is torture. Isolation is used as torture/punishment fgs!
We're always being shown that families are more important, that we've failed by not having a partner and reproducing. Now we are expected to live in isolation for months on end.

And at the end of it, no one is going to say "well done for undergoing months of torture to protect others" or support us with healing from the trauma this will cause. As usual, just expected to suck it up.

I cant do this.

YABU - single mum to three that are with me 24/7. My mental health is falling apart. I have had my support network ripped from me and not being able to see others or get out is making it hard to breathe.

But this is not torture, that’ll come when this is all over and all those people having held it together completely alone will fall apart. If the virus doesn’t break the NHS the mental health crisis it is going to have to deal with after will.

how is it protecting the NHS, when they are treating badly right now?

I can't believe you don't know this already. It's to reduce the number of new cases so that the NHS will be able to cope better.

If you want more information, Google 'flatten the curve'

I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling OP. Loneliness is an awful thing.

I'm also sorry you've been on the receiving end of so many comments from people who have had a complete empathy bypass or who seem to think that lockdown "Top Trumps" is a helpful response. Unfortunately so much of MN is filled with this sort of vitriol at the moment.

I hope you manage to find a way of getting through this

Amymayapple
@JustInCaseCakeHappens saying that we have television and phones, does not seem like a great human right to me.
you still don't get it, do you? It's not about human right, it's about an emergency response to a pandemic that has made bodies pile up in other countries. It's not a nice death either, and surviving doesn't mean you will ever be back to "normal" ever again.

Your so-called "human rights" come after the needs of the whole community I am afraid.

I know people who have been refused treatment at hospital becaue the hospitals are only treating coronavirus. These people are very ill

How is that ok?

It really is not. We left the NHS crumble and now is the consequence - unfortunately, right now there's not much anyone can do about it. Freeing beds, trying to recruit as many medical help as possible, increasing production of respirators everywhere possible, trying to keep the food and medicine supplies open.. that needs to take priority.

It is shit for everybody! Not many of us actually jump for joy at losing business, being stuck home, not seeing or helping loved ones, trying to make it as a good time as possible for the kids so they only have fond memories. it is shit. One child falling off a tree and breaking an arm will be a tragedy in this context. It is more than shit.

Going completely over the top and moaning about "torture" is just rude though. There's enough drama without the need to create more.

I was ill a few years ago, lived alone and couldn't leave the house for months. It wasn't pleasant but didn't have any choice. At least back then getting an online supermarket delivery slot wasn't a problem as otherwise I would have starved to death.

Before the current 'lockdown' happened there were plenty of people who live alone, don't have any friends or family and therefore don't have any social life. Who can only look on enviously as they pass packed parks, pubs, cafes and restaurants with people enjoying each others company. Whose only conversation they may have with anyone each week would be small talk with the supermarket cashier. Hardly anyone gave a shit about them then though...

At least you're not looking after a house of sick people

This is not a punishment

Just because it isn't doesn't mean it can't feel like one.

who seem to think that lockdown "Top Trumps" is a helpful response
it's not top trump, it's factual. It would be like complaining that you are left to starve in my neighbourhood (can't speak for the rest of the country obviously!)
here you can't find slots for supermarkets deliveries, BUT half the smaller shops deliver, most of the farm shops are still open and have at the very least basic supplies, there are big groups of volunteers ready to drop food on your doorstep when you are stuck. No one is starving. Thinking about it, at least of the restaurants and take-away deliver if you can afford ready meals too.

So pointing out that we are all in the same boat, and things are not as bad as people like to cry about is not playing top trump.

This is not a punishment

Just because it isn't doesn't mean it can't feel like one.

shouldn't adults grow up a bit and start not to take everything personally?

I think maybe how people react to this is a personality thing.

I'm single and whilst I'm very worried about vulnerable friends and relatives (and myself) contracting the disease, the isolation part of if is not an issue for me.

In fact, I've never been so glad to be single to be honest. I can't imagine anything worse than being cooped up with children and a husband/partner.

All people (me included!) are annoying from time to time; all people are more likely to be annoying if they are stressed and irritable anyway. Demands of home schooling is already taking it out of some friends with younger children.

I see being single as a MASSIVE plus point to self isolation. You are safe in your own home - not risking an essential worker partner or children bringing the virus back in. You can do what you want, watch want you want on TV, eat what you want, sleep when and how long you want.

It's a good time to reconnect with friends on the phone or via Skype if you want.

It's a good time to sort out and tidy up and deal with jobs you've been putting off.

So I think this is to do with personality and how much your mental health will be individually affected by isolation.

Try to focus on the enormous positives of being single at the moment of which there are tons.

It's not a competition as to who has it worse. OP is clearly struggling and could use some helpful suggestions as opposed to people saying she hasn't got it as bad as they or others have.

If course it's not the same as being on the frontline, but each person's problems are relative to them.

OP, try varying each day as much as you can. Films, music, books, t.v. series, puzzles etc.

It is shit, but just take one day at a time rather than looking too much into the future.

Op I totally get you. It's all well and good for those stuck in their own little bubble with their partner and little families saying shut up and get on with it! Some of us are stuck alone away from those we love. It's shit. It's not a competition and it's ok for you to feel shit about your situation.

This lockdown isn't shit for everyone, some strange people are bloody enjoying it, and enjoying telling others to stop complaining.

Yes this is necessary, yes it's better than being dead, yes it's better than others being dead, but it's tough on your mental health and that's not something to be unsympathetic about.

Your so-called "human rights" come after the needs of the whole community I am afraid.

It is very worrying that you would put air quotes around 'human rights' not just of the OP, but the entire planet (some 3 billion people are under lockdown at the moment). Please give your head a wobble.

We've gone for walks, ran friends doorbells and then had a conversation with them from the bottom of their drive. Can you do this?

MarginalGain
in the context of my reply, I stand by the "human rights" with air quotes.

The fact that the entire planet (that's debatable as well ) is on lockdown should point out to you that there is a problem above your personal and minor inconvenience.

Everyone is struggling, for a vast variety of reasons.

You can go out for a walk each day so make sure you do this. Otherwise you'll just have to be like everyone else and cope. Keep posting and letting the frustration and anxiety out. People will understand (unless they are devoid of empathy) and support you. Take each day at a time. Each hour, if that what it takes. You'll get through it.

UnfinishedSymphon You keep posting incorrect advice - there is a fourth reason you can leave the house and that's for exercise. This could be a walk, a run or a cycle. The OP could go for a walk - at least she would see other people and feel part of things. I am on my own from Monday to Friday as my DH works away. Normally this isn't an issue as a work FT and see plenty of people there. I am WFH at the moment and I am finding it harder than I thought. I just went for a cycle around my village at lunchtime - it was lovely to get out in the fresh air and return greetings from the handful of people I saw. We are not under house arrest - she needs to socially distance not full on isolation.

You may think a full lock down is needed but that is not what we have - stop spreading false information

@CarolHasAnotherUTI you said:

"I can't believe you don't know this already. It's to reduce the number of new cases so that the NHS will be able to cope better."

You are missing my point is this:

They are telling is to do all these restrictions so that that the NHS won't be overwhelmed in the future. They are telling us to do all these restrictions for other people's health and to save lives.

Yet, they are treating people's health and safety, terribly right now!! So how does that make ANY sense.

I have heard of the following stories:

My friend in scotland has pneumonia, she has told me about being maltreated, and not cared for in hospital, because she is not priority.

My aunty was sent home in severe pain from hospital, could barely walk, because they are "only keeping beds for coronavirus".

I tried to get medical treatment for an issue, and I was told by my doctor that they will not be doing this treatment at ALL until coronavirus is over.

A woman on this thread said that her relative's cancer appointment was cancelled.

They are treatig people really awfully

Yet, they are treating people's health and safety, terribly right now!! So how does that make ANY sense.

because "they" have been left with a NHS so lacking of resources that they have no choice but to prioritise and deal with the very most urgent cases!

"they" are risking their own lives, sacrificing seeing their family to try to help people. How dare you pretending "they" are psychopaths who enjoy turning people away, when "they" are the ones witnessing people dying or near dying and actually desperately trying to do something about it.

What are YOU doing right now to help?

@cheeserem yes! Think some people are enjoying it: calls for stricter rules and more misery all round!!

I think some of this may be that they find it hard to accept that not everyone can be saved no matter what we do or how locked down we are? It’s all very sad

Amy I think you may be missing the point.

If your friend with pneumonia needed hospital treatment she will get treated. But if she can struggle on at home it will be safer for her to be there because the last bloody thing shell need is unrelated pneumonia and coronavirus. And even if she had pneumonia and coronavirus, she would still be told to treat at home unless she needed a drip or oxygen.

Same w cancer appointments. They will cancel everything they possibly can because cancer + coronavirus is a bad combination.

Hard choices. I am very lucky in that I like to be alone so in a sense this time was made for me. Other people need others around them all the time.

I would put an end date on it if I were the state - current lock down to be over by mid April at latest and 1 May back to normal even if more people die as the greater good is in trying to let people who have been financially ruined start to get back on their feet and all those whose lives this process has saved can start their lifetime of thanks to those who have paid a massive price to save them.

@JustInCaseCakeHappens I am in an area where there are no people with Coronavirus at all.

So how exactly are these people risking their own lives?

You are missing my point.

If it's bad NOW, how much worse will it be without these measures in place?

Hunt. Look at Italy.

So, if you have been at work in a healthcare setting all day is it not permitted to give a lift to a colleague, who lives near you but not in the same household?