To think it's not ok to make women give birth alone?

[WhoToTell]

A hospital system in New York is now not letting women in labour have their partner or support person present. This seems absolutely cruel and goes against WHO recommendations. AIBU to think that this is not OK? There is no way I would feel safe and comfortable giving birth with only complete strangers around and no one to advocate for me if I was unable to.

edition.cnn.com/2020/03/22/health/coronavirus-new-york-hospital-childbirth-no-visitors/index.html

The leaflet also says women may not be able to have an epidural as the anaesthetists may be busy in other areas. I wondered about that, I imagine they are needed for the ventilators? I assume they would be the ones with the right training for that. Don't know but thought that was likely.

FFS do you get a kick out of having a go at pregnant hormonal woman? People have always nasty on here but lately seem worse than ever. Its still surgery and obviously you've never had a c section or wouldn't be so nasty.
Pregnancy is stressful enough at any time but at a time like this a bit of support would be useful but no let's be nasty instead.

Iforsorrow, you were not mean to her. Unlike many other posters

The leaflet also says women may not be able to have an epidural as the anaesthetists may be busy in other areas

That's the case in my hospital and you're warned about it well in advance, even in normal circumstances.

OP a nurse on here says in her hospital in the UK one birth partner is allowed. Hopefully will be the same for you.

I've already had this conversation with my husband. I'm not due for another few months but if needs be he'll take me to hospital and drop me off and I'll give birth on my own. Its crap but even with coronavirus measures in place we still have it better than many women in the rest of the world,

Yes epidurals are always if there is someone available. If there is an emergency with a mother, they have to prioritise that.

Our hospital is still allowing birth partners BTW op. It's just that we have a toddler and he definitely isn't allowed on the ward, and we can't ask my parents to have him now.

OP, up until the 1960s, every mother in the UK had babies without their partner present. While it's not ideal, these are difficult times.

They don't need double the number of people in the hospital, they have too much to deal with already.

You are not being unreasonable in feeling anxious at all OP, giving birth without your partner would be heartbreaking for me. As PP have stated, it is unfortunate as that where the world is at right now but I would be very upset. I would accept it's for the best of course, but it's still very upsetting.

What u are failing to understand r.e ‘entitled’ and ‘spectator sport’ is that the antenatal cate is about to look quite different from anything wev been used too.
How are your comments of use to a scared pregnant women? Build her up not down, what on earth is wrong with you

We got pregnant under one set of rules and imagined our pregnancies and births a certain way, the rules have now changed and we have no say in any of it

As does any woman who finds out they have gestational diabetes, develops high blood pressure, has an anomaly picked up on scan, finds out that a home birth isn't recommended, has to move home at short notice, finds out they're having twins, gets anaemic, bleeds, has an ascending infection, PROM, premature labour, flu hits, catches chickenpox, goes into labour nearer another hospital, doesn't cope with just peaceful thoughts and organic lavender oil and needs All of the Drugs or ends up needing a planned or emergency section. And any whose partner changes his mind, gets ill, dies or hits them. The 'rules' change all the time. And no, you don't get any say over it.

The goalposts move. You do have to suck it up.

Sorry OP, but you are being v unreasonable and ridiculous. You really don’t need your partner there to help you give birth unless he’s the obstetrician.

People are currently lying dying, all alone and with no family around to hold their hand. My friend lost her darling husband on Sunday. She wasn’t allowed to be with him when he died. They’ve been together more than 60 years and are total soul mates. She can’t even hold a proper funeral.

I’m beyond distressed for her dreadful situation.

In the current emergency, I’d rather those healthcare workers that are trying to do their best at the expense of spending time with their loved ones, have fewer unnecessary spectators around risking infecting them. The healthcare are the priority now, not you.

They don't need double the number of people in the hospital, they have too much to deal with already.

I do agree with this. For every birth partner that comes in, it effectively doubles the risk of transmission to all the other mothers, babies, and staff. As hard as it is, it does make sense.

I think all pregnant women due in the next few
Months should not read this thread.
Personally I am feeling really anxious at the idea of my partner not being their for the birth of our child. I really do need him there. I agree visiting hours should be reduced but partners should be there for the birth. But I plan to have dd and get the hell out as soon as I can back to my family. It’s bad enough my mum won’t see my newborn unless these idiots listen to what they are being told to do.

China - who have successfully locked down the spread from within... have all women elective sections and they were in and out as quick as possible.

It is definitely more sensible than labouring for days in hospital and Having to have an emergency one or worse.

(It’s not true that you must stay in for days for a section) this is propaganda to put u off.

Get in and get out.

Also of course they will withhold epidurals!! They normally do anyway.

I really do need him there

No you don’t, you want him there. They’re not the same thing.

This is already happening in the UK. Family friend was induced yesterday and her husband just had to drop her off and go.

I wouldn't have minded.

My OH spent his time either asleep, eating my snacks or standing like a rabbit in headlights.

The staff were great, I could have managed easily without my OH.

It's only in the past few decades that men or other family members have been in the delivery room.

I never saw the point of men in the delivery suite anyway tbh. I'm with Nurse Crane on that one. A midwife is all you need, and pray they are a good one. Extra people in hospitals are something we absolutely have to give up right now.
And yes, I gave birth "alone" (by which I mean only one woman in the room was giving birth, and I had a midwife).

I also gave birth without anyone but the medical staff there and it wasn't a choice. It's not the end of the world.

And btw I am not unsympathetic at all, and would never say "suck it up" it's just that, in reality, a birth partner honestly isn't as much use as you might think. We ALL give birth alone, in that only one person can actually do it. Anyone not labouring or there to medically assist is extraneous.

It’s not the end of the world but it’s certainly not fucking nice for the women with additional mental health struggles at this time who could do with the support

Yes, we’ll all manage
Yes some have done in the past
But it’s not the norm and I certainly wouldn’t have chosen to have a second baby after my first experience if I didn’t think he would be there at least for the birth

On the plus side I’m glad they are discharging people sooner but this does leave things open to massive risks especially with the lack of follow ups we are being told to expect now

This is already in place where I live now (not UK). I am due in a few months and my friend is due in the next few weeks. Not going to lie it is not my first choice, no one with me for the birth and no visitors, especially as here they normally keep you in for 3 days minimum but it can't be helped right now. I get why your upset op but we are were we are and I honestly think it will be better for both you and baby if you just focus of making the best of it and getting through it as best you can. That's the approach I am taking.

Helps if you try and remember that no ones birth goes the way they want. As long as you and baby get through it healthy then it will be fine.

I really do need him there.

No, you really don't. You need the healthcare professionals. No extra visitors are at all needed and increase the risk of passing on the virus to you and your baby as well. It's a crisis time, but such times means people have to start being less selfish and more adult.