To think it's not ok to make women give birth alone?

[WhoToTell]

A hospital system in New York is now not letting women in labour have their partner or support person present. This seems absolutely cruel and goes against WHO recommendations. AIBU to think that this is not OK? There is no way I would feel safe and comfortable giving birth with only complete strangers around and no one to advocate for me if I was unable to.

edition.cnn.com/2020/03/22/health/coronavirus-new-york-hospital-childbirth-no-visitors/index.html

I know we're not supposed to refer to 't'olden days' but having someone other than medics wasn't always the norm, maybe 45-50 years. It may not be what women want but surely for the sake of the life of their unborn child it's worth doing? Personally if I had my time over again he's the last person I'd want there, totally useless!

I’m having a c section in 3 weeks and worried about this too. Dd1’s birth was very traumatic. Like others have said, not the end of the world and I’m sure I will get through it with midwives/ drs.

I am due mid may and facing this. My mum was supposed to come and stay and look after DS but this looks unlikely now. My husband will have to stay with him.

@WhoToTell by having your partner there you are doubling the risk of passing the virus on. I’m pregnant and in these times I would prefer the medical staff are kept protected from the virus and able to continue their jobs than having my partner there.

@Crackerofdoom that's the thing, unfortunately as people have proved the last few days you need to apply rules for the lowest denominator. It might not happen here anyway, best if it does probably.

It would be different here I think due to the role of the midwife. I was alone in one of my births and it was ok (well, the birth was bad but the being alone bit fine) because the midwife held my hand and was my support.
DH had stayed at home to be with our other child and we’d made that decision together.

My impression is that the US is a more medicalised system and usually doctor led births and that would have been terrifying.

They are not random strangers OP- they are clinically trained strangers, big difference.

They are humans with family too you know.

I echo the PP saying it is actually ok.

I did 2 births on my own (c-sec and EMCS)

I have to say that even though the second one was scary, the medical staff are very used to mums who are completely on their own and were really sensitive and supportive (even though I did have support, just not at the hospital with me)

DM did all 5 of her births on her own which was normal then and I imagine they will look to discharge as soon as possible.

Women all over the world do this. Time for people to get real and realise how pampered we are and that things are going to be difficult. Also your thread title is wrong. no one is suggesting women must give birth alone, they are suggesting that women give birth surrounded by medical professionals but with out a friend/partner. This is the very definition of a first world problem.

you need to apply rules for the lowest denominator.

This exactly. Most fathers will probably stay in the delivery suite with the mother the whole time, but then there will be others who are wandering around the corridors breathing on everybody and touching things.

Giving birth with a partner is a relatively new thing, for years women gave birth on their own and lived. I actually did not want my partner around for my first birth as in my home country it's still something that is not widely practised so I could not get my head around how it would work. Plus, I still had to do all the work on my own and he just sat there :)
Also, you will not be alone, you will have an amazing midwife/midwives around too. I think upsetting as it is to be on our own, we will not be alone and I'm sure the staff will do their best to be there for you and support you in any way they can.

My mum gave birth to us with just medical people present - dad waited in the waiting room with all the other fathers to be. That's what the norm was in the 60s. Mum and dad thought it was really odd when my sister had her first and her husband was present!

When I had my first baby 40 years ago, having the father at the birth was a new thing and unless your birthing partner is vital to the safe delivery of your baby, which generally they aren't, you can give birth without them.

My then husband wasn't at the next two and tbh it made not one iota of difference.

The midwife was there, also other staff - couldn't tell you what they did - but women will be fine without their partners.

I know it's not ideal for many women, as I said in my pp, but women have been giving birth this way for a very long time and you will cope. You will not be giving birth alone, as the thread title claims.

We're not living in normal times, unfortunately.

No way I trust any of the midwifes I have meet to have my best interest in mind. So many horror stories from family and friends...

What the fuck?

This is happening in France at the moment. It's to minimize the number of people in and out of the hospitals carrying the virus. Imagine what will happen when someone brings the virus to the maternity ward. It's horrible for the women involved, my friend's DD just had to give birth without family support, but there isn't much choice is there?

On both occasions of giving birth I didn't really care who was with me as long as they got it out!
As other people have said, it used to be the norm.

My impression is that the US is a more medicalised system and usually doctor led births and that would have been terrifying.

An OB/GYN usually attends the birth, but there are also nurses there. It's not you and your doctor alone in a room. And a nurse wills hold your hand if you needed that. And the doctor isn't a stranger; he's generally your regular GYN and you would have been seeing him for months up to the birth for your prenatal visits.

People are saying you won’t be alone you’ll be with a midwife - but will there be enough to ensure women aren’t alone? In my experience you’re basically left to it at the best of times. I didn’t have a dedicated midwife with me throughout the birth, until things went south (which they knew about because my husband went to fetch them).

YABU
they will have doctors and midwives etc

@WhoToTell is this your first baby ?

It would be OK, not great but OK. I gave birth with the midwife supporting me. It was fine.

I birthed both my babies alone, except I didn’t, there were medical professionals there. As pp have said, birthing partners are a relatively recent thing, and not always a good thing. I know of three fathers who found the experience vary from quite frightening to very traumatising. Two of those marriages/partnerships failed at least partly as a result of this.
Having said that, what a dreadful time to be giving birth. Sincerest best wishes to all in this situation.

Women gave birth alone for centuries. I’d hate it but it obviously has to be done. In contrast, people are also dying alone which has not been happening for centuries. Many more people will die and these measures must be taken, these are not normal times.

don't understand how this improves safety for anyone. I live with my partner

It's double the risk in 1 room. Literally a 1+1 answer

These are unprecedented times OP. What's boggling my head there are people actively TCC right now.

In my experience you’re basically left to it at the best of times.

I've only given birth in Ohio, and never during a pandemic, but that's not how it is here. The nurses generally check on you about every hour. More often if they see something unusual on the monitor. With my daughter, she kept moving so they couldn't get a consistent heart rate on her, so my poor nurse was in my room every few minutes to check on me.