To think it's not ok to make women give birth alone?

[WhoToTell]

A hospital system in New York is now not letting women in labour have their partner or support person present. This seems absolutely cruel and goes against WHO recommendations. AIBU to think that this is not OK? There is no way I would feel safe and comfortable giving birth with only complete strangers around and no one to advocate for me if I was unable to.

edition.cnn.com/2020/03/22/health/coronavirus-new-york-hospital-childbirth-no-visitors/index.html

Normally I’d say Yanbu but after looking at the numbers of cases in NY I think they need to do whatever is necessary!!! I’d be doing whatever I was told to do if I was having a baby right now.

Viral load means the more people with the virus you are exposed to, the more ill you will be. This will be to protect staff

It's really not. Viral load is the amount the virus replicates inside you, which varies from person to person for lots of reasons. The more virus you are exposed to, the more likely you are to catch it, but it doesn't predict how severely ill you'll be.

Sorry for derailing OP

Seriously op, I get that you are scared but get yourself over to YouTube and learn about birth and babies.
I'm pregnant and high risk but I'm not considering offing myself because I don't like something. I nearly lost my first child due to an illness during pregnancy, hemorrhaged in the hospital carpark with my second miscarriage and I'm terrified of hospitals but I'm going to have this baby in a hospital with or without my partner because at 26 years old I've survived so much and nearly died but I will survive this

For anyone reading this and worrying about having to give birth without a partner there (maybe because of illness etc), try not to worry. My second came early when my DH was away. The staff were amazing I didn’t feel alone at all.

I echo this, I ended up having an EMCS and Dh wasnt allowed in, my midwife was lovely throughout. I didn't feel alone or afraid at all.

For everyone pregnant on here.

Many people give birth without a partner in tandem. It's nice if husband can be there, mine was, but if he can't you just get on with it. The end result is the same and dads soon bond.

@WhateverHappenedToBathPearls That is what they said in my local news programme to explain why if you have symptoms you need to self isolate from the rest of your family.

But if the father has it then the mother will too
there are so many possible scenarios. The woman may have had the virus and already recovered well; her husband could easily be a couple of weeks behind and still contagious/infectious.

I would be totally devastated if this were the (entirely plausible) case and a newborn or mother died because my husband being there was more important than someone else's baby.

It’s a horrible dilemma and I think whatever decision was made about this issue someone is going to find fault with it. My heart goes out to anyone who has to give birth alone.

I’m scared of this happening here. I’m due in May and on outskirts of London

Things seem pretty dire

I can’t get the mental health help I was referred for over a month ago

no dad should be deprived of the right to see their child being born
There is no such thing. Fathers can and are refused permission to be at the birth, for a variety of reasons.

This will happen to all of us with other DC, no mixing households means no childcare so I won’t have a choice, can’t work out the logistics of getting in and out of hospital yet or what to do if I have to stay in and need supplies.

I'm so disappointed with the human race atm most of you are just jumping down on her! Would you all be so blunt and rude to her face ? She has also just wrote about jumping in front of a train?! Non of us know how that was written but what if shes serious? There is still things like someone's mental health and wellbeing to consider so maybe try and get your point across in a nicer way. I'm sure aĺot of you are home bored and want to vent but surely we all need to be kind and nice to each other right now ?!

poster I'm 37 weeks so any day now for me in UK currently and have a home birth planned so hoping all goes to plan however yes I also have the potential of given birth alone/with midwifes if they have enough to even be in the room! I've had two before this and I tell you now the midwifes were bloody stretched then! Anyway it freaked me right out at first and made me upset and have all sorts of feelings. Let it settle in your head and try and be calm. Unfortunately we can't change anything atm and it's horrible but we can get threw this and if your mental health is really struggling due to all this please speak to someone you Know and trust. I think alot of people forget how they actually felt when pregnant especially to you ones that gave birth 20 + years ago ! My auntie and mum can never seem to sympathise properly which does my head in! Like they found everything so easy when they became mum's but when pointed out how they actually was which a lot of us forgot after a while they own up more and sympathise, bloody hell I've forgotten how hard it was with my daughter 8 years ago when she was a baby so God knows how any one remembers 20 + years later, we all have a know it all attitude after the actual event !. Why can't we all just be nice to each other I struggled at first to get my head around it but after a day or two and some much need support and gentle guidance of my family and friends I've accepted it and I'm fine. Some people aren't lucky enough to have that support apart from things like mumsnet. Hope your oka poster and wrap your head around everything soon everyone has something going on atm but we will get threw and be oka in the end.

Ive done it twice...it's not the end of th world

I've had 2 babies. If my partner wasn't there for the second I'm not sure that I would - I was persistently ignored, until my partner went and stood at the desk until they came and looked at me - discovering the baby wasn't doing well (I was in too much pain, too tired after a week of contractions to advocate for myself). In fact, at ever step, my partner had to advocate for me, and when he left for a while to check on our first child, the level of care significantly reduced and I was bullied onto the bed with a tube in my arm (which never got used, as they put a fresh one in when I went for my c-section).

I had my first abroad, and there I was listened to, and felt safe. In the UK I didn't. I needed my partner - I don't know about the US.

I had four children without dh being present at the birth and it was fine. Obviously if it’s not what you want but if it’s safest for you and your baby I think it doesn’t have to be dreadful.

No it’s not ideal but we are currently dealing with a crisis so these aren’t ideal times.

So ready to just jump in front of a train, it's the only way out now

If that’s honestly how you feel OP then you need to reach out for some real life support. Please phone your midwife or Gp and tell them you are thinking of taking you own life.

You can also phone or text the Samaritans
www.samaritans.org/

I do think there will end up being an increase in infant mortality rate in the coming months unfortunately

no dad should be deprived of the right to see their child being born

and his right is superior to the right of a newborns right of life? Or, at least, of the chance of life.

Westerners have a hugely inflated sense of entitlement - hopefully this pandemic may make us reconsider our distasteful superiority!

Ante natal care has already been cancelled at my trust

No blood tests
No blood pressure checks
No measurements taken

I’m classed as high risk and all mine have been cancelled

@Midlifebaby.

Well said, what a sensible post.

40 years ago it was unusual to have a birth partner, I gave birth to my first 2 without their Dad it was fine

Please don't share scary birth stories on this thread. This pissed me off when I was pregnant. Its like suddenly anyone you know who has had a bad birth feels compelled to tell you about it.