To think it's not ok to make women give birth alone?

[WhoToTell]

A hospital system in New York is now not letting women in labour have their partner or support person present. This seems absolutely cruel and goes against WHO recommendations. AIBU to think that this is not OK? There is no way I would feel safe and comfortable giving birth with only complete strangers around and no one to advocate for me if I was unable to.

edition.cnn.com/2020/03/22/health/coronavirus-new-york-hospital-childbirth-no-visitors/index.html

What's boggling my head there are people actively TCC right now

Me too, if already pregnant then obviously healthcare providers are maxxed out doing what they can, but to actively be trying when this is likely to go on for a sustained amount of time boggles my mind too.

The horror stories I have read on here about the behaviour of some men on maternity wards makes me grateful to have given birth in the 60s when fathers were only allowed during visiting hours.

Ah well, if you don’t trust any of the midwives (ie trained medical professionals) based on anecdotes, and you’d prefer your partner, have a home birth. Simples.

I feel for you @WhoToTell but people are literally dying alone. A little perspective please....

Let’s try & boost one another, not scare with your this is a pandemic sign of the times BS. This is not helpful to those feeling vulnerable, I’m an expectant mum, also a nurse on the front line & it’s great to hear of lots of mums birthing alone and doing fab- thankyou! Goodluck to everyone who is having less antenatal & postnatal care- we can do this lady’s xx

steff13

Women aren’t routinely CTG monitored here, and once an hour (assuming there is sufficient staff for that to happen) does mean that for large periods women will be left alone.

If it’s a sacrifice that has to be made for the greater good then so be it - I’m pregnant myself - but I don’t think it’s as simple as suggesting there will be a midwife with you because for a lot of it there might well not be.

Also then fucks me off at the other exceptions being made for people to see others but hey ho.

@WhoToTell there are some that have been uploaded online because of this, will try and find some links for you.

This is what a lot of Mumsnetters want in the UK. I personally think it’s horrific. Childbirth is dangerous and traumatic and we are biologically programmed to need support if not during than definitely in the period afterwards otherwise no female mammal would live past menopause.

I'm due next week, hospital said it's fine for one birth partner, but if my husband would have symptoms he would not be allowed. We've stayed in since last weekend so hopefully it will be ok. Don't know what I would do otherwise

great, just found out that antenatal classes have also been canceled. I don't have any friends who have kids and no family to help. I know nothing about babies, never have changed a nappy or held one and it's way too late for an abortion.

I think you may need to take a step back. I've had three kids, and I've never taken any prenatal classes. I did fine. Lots of people don't take classes. I don't get the impression you're in New York, so I wouldn't worry about this right now.

@Lemonpink88 I gave birth alone as my DH was deployed, it was fine. I did think about having a different birth partner but when the time came I was actually quite calm and didn't really want anyone else there if he couldn't be. It might not even come to this here, but it was still a lovely experience.

Yabu and they are not alone. They have a MW. Maybe even more than one.

This is a global pandemic. Having a support person with you at birth is a luxury and is not essential.

@whototell
Don't say that, when are you due and where do you live ? X

Women aren’t routinely CTG monitored here, and once an hour (assuming there is sufficient staff for that to happen) does mean that for large periods women will be left alone.

You don't really need constant companionship, though.

Blimey, this used to happen all the time! I gave birth to my first with dh an 8 hour flight away, and nobody else close with me. It was fine, I survived!

I imagine one of the problems with "birth partners" is that they don't stay glued to the woman in labour's side but wander around using bathrooms, drinking cups of tea, preparing themselves snacks, touching things, expecting to sleep on the postnatal ward overnight in a chair afterwards. They aren't just there during the birth but often for 24-48 hours, and far more mobile speading germs and in the case of some men using resources and space needed for patients.

You'll be ok OP. There's loads of information on the internet. And honestly nothing prepares you for the baby. Get in touch now with a lactation consultant who can help over Skype. You can do it OP! You really can. Ask for the epidural early if that makes you feel better.

You don't really need constant companionship, though

Ok but that’s a different point. Telling women they don’t need a companion for emotional support, and telling women they won’t be alone, are not the same. I think this thread is about the emotional support, not the medical support.

Of course it is ok. A birthing partner is not an essential. The birthing partner could be virus shedding even if the birthing woman isn't. Midwives, cleaners, doctors etc are giving up a lot, and risking their lives. Risk must be minimised.

Ok but that’s a different point. Telling women they don’t need a companion for emotional support, and telling women they won’t be alone, are not the same.

I disagree.

Watch some m YouTube videos. It’s 2020 the dramatics.

I'm currently pg and will be giving birth alone. We have 2 dds and my parents are very high risk so cant mind them, so my husband will be home with the girls while I'm giving birth. I'm not going to lie, I'm scared shirtless but just trying not to dwell on it and realising that its necessary at the minute and I need to keep my parents safe. These are extreme times

@WhoToTell are you OK? It's hard to tell if you are serious, or venting. There are ways to prepare without face to face contact. I was clueless about babies too, you learn as you go once they are here.