To feel like I don't matter

[Idontmattertoher]

I'm not sure what I am asking for here but I think my IABU is AIBU to feel worthless?

I have direct payments that pay for 16 hours personal assistant help a week. I am housebound without their help, and we normally go out for 2 hours every 4th week.

I have a progressive neurological condition that has caused severe vision loss as well as other severe neuro issues.

My personal assistants are now ALL self isolating (2 weeks so far) and I can't get anyone to cover.

I haven't had a wash/shower for 16 days and am wearing the same clothes for those 16 days as I can't change them (been sleeping in them too). I can't cook or do something as simple as spread butter on toast so my diet consists of apples, salad, dry bread dipped. in jam and cereals. I can't use cooker or microwave

The company providing my personal assistants have left me high and dry, and, despite knowing I'm registered blind and struggle with my neurological symptoms have said it's up to me to find cover.

I feel so worthless.

I'm sorry. I know there is nothing you can do to help but it's making me sad to the point that if I thought I was having a heart attack I wouldn't ask for help hoping I would die and get out of this mental hell. Thank you for reading.

Just read this and was shocked at what happened. Cannot believe the care company. So glad you’re doing ok now. Sending you good wishes. 💐

Op I’m so happy that yous have the help you so so truly deserve. But still am appalled at your care company. You deserve so much more and their treatment of you has been in humane. I hope there are repercussions for them.

so glad you got help, and I would also be giving the name of the caring company to your labour group to follow up on this awful firm.

so glad things have improved for you. i cannot believe how you have been treated i would be sending a complaint to the company which let you down so badly.
my daughter is a carer and still working even with all the worry over the virus. she cares for people dementia patients patients with MH issues and palliative/end of life people.
she is not NHS she works for a private company and i am very proud of her. she has 4 children at home and her partner who is a farm worker are both working putting themselves at risk but at least one is safeguarding we have food in the future and the other is looking after people who need help
take care and keep in touch with us all