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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Strange Conversation with a Social Worker

149 replies

StressedtoHellandBack · 13/03/2020 20:33

I had a call from a Social Worker. I do think she was a Social Worker but was not showing any traits that I would expect from a Social Worker. I would expect a Social Worker to be caring, understanding and kind.
She asked what I am worried about. When I tried to tell her she spoke over me and interrupted all the time. She did not allow me to speak at all and although she claimed she called me to gain some clarity all she really did was to cause further concerns that anyone I know should be involved with a person like that in an official capacity. If someone is distressed and has to face someone so nasty and unpleasant I don't know how they would cope. I am not having problems of any description but this woman was probably the most difficult person I have ever spoken to. I was in a job where I spoke to a lot of people every working day!
There was something I said about a man who was being inappropriate with a teenager and I was told that Social Workers would not be interested in that. She said that Social Workers were not interested in vulnerable people being bullied or attacked or a man watching children playing every time children were outside. I thought Social Workers were there to protect children and also vulnerable people but this woman said this was not the case.
Her conduct was enough to put me off ever talking to a Social Worker at any future point. She seemed to have no understanding of the situation or the damage being done. There is isolating of people from family and friends. She does not see that if an adult will not go into a situation, why is a child left in that same situation.
I really would appreciate any help with this situation. I don't want to make things any worse for some vulnerable people who are already under the control of some unpleasant persons.
Am I Being Unreasonable to think a Social Worker should be protecting children and vulnerable people and being a whole lot more interested in listening than talking over another person in a conversation that she instigated.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 13/03/2020 20:37

I'd like their side before I vote tbh,

gobbynorthernbird · 13/03/2020 20:38

Why did the social worker call you?

changeforazog · 13/03/2020 20:39

I'm sorry, I don't think I understand the situation. Did you report a safeguarding issue to children's services? Can you report again and ask to speak to someone else, or go to the police if it's a criminal matter?

Nicknacky · 13/03/2020 20:41

It may be more of a police matter than a social work one.

LuluJakey1 · 13/03/2020 20:47

I think I need a bit of context eg
Why did she contact you in the first place?
Had you raised a concern about a child?
What is your concern?
Had you rang social services child protection number and got a social worker or is she that particular child's social worker?
What was the outcome?

At first reading, she does not sound particularly appropriate in her responses but it is hard not knowing the context.

AgentJohnson · 13/03/2020 20:51

Your posts are very confusing and isn’t at all clear what your complaint is and what factual information you had to back it up.

Bluntness100 · 13/03/2020 20:54

I think you need to give further info.

Why did she call you? Did you report something? If so what and what are the ages of the people involved?

wowbutter · 13/03/2020 20:56

Question one. Are you reporting something that has actually happened and been witnessed? A genuinely dangerous incident?

If no... then no. They don't have time to care.
Sorry.

Namechange4nowt45 · 13/03/2020 21:13

Sorry nothing makes much sense,?

Mlou32 · 13/03/2020 21:14

Yeah sorry, you really need to put some context in this otherwise it makes no sense whatsoever.

StressedtoHellandBack · 13/03/2020 21:29

I was not being too specific for reasons I would hope would be understood.
The Social Worker wanted information about people I know. I did not ask her to phone me!
There are concerns for children of elementary school age and I am a name given in support of someone's views.
I don't understand the logic of wanting someone to give information and then constantly interrupting and talking over. I don't think it is a very professional way to speak to people. It seems very rude and abrupt. It was an unpleasant piece of time.
I think it is likely that there is a problem but I don't feel inclined to speak to anyone like that again. She did not promote trust in her occupation and I think it is someone hoping to gain information would try to build up trust to achieve her aim.
No matter how short of time a person is bad manners are not going to produce much in any area of work

OP posts:
Onemorehitandillcrumble · 13/03/2020 21:31

I had a call from a Social Worker

Sorry, in person or telephone? If phone then presumably it could have been anyone, in person -did they show I.d?

In all honesty, knowing a young, vulnerable special needs teen who had self harmed who was removed from hospital -by the parent-prior to psychiatric assessment-and the parent was then threatened that social services would now be involved but, 8 months later that parent has still not even been contacted -despite the self harm continuing-I would say that social services are so overstretched that they can’t deal with cases of physical harm so have no way to deal with theoretical harm.
It’s appalling that these things are all down to ‘funding issues’.

tinybluerose · 13/03/2020 21:34

elementary school age

So in the USA?

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 13/03/2020 21:36

Eh?

SoleBizzz · 13/03/2020 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MaryShelley1818 · 13/03/2020 21:38

Your posts are extremely difficult to understand. you actually sound very confused.

Surely you understand that in all occupations there will be good and bad, one person doesn't represent the entire Social Work profession.

I work in Children's Services Social Work and while you should always without exception be polite and professional, sometimes you also have to be very firm with people and can't always tell them what they want to hear.

n00bMaster69 · 13/03/2020 21:41

Op, try writing what your main points/ issues are in bullet format.

Ellisandra · 13/03/2020 21:48

You lost me completely by saying it has put you off talking to a SW again.

Only an idiot would think that there are no bad social workers 🤷🏻‍♀️

You wouldn’t bother, just because this one wasn’t good?

Pathetic.

Plus: this is a UK based site, we don’t automatically know what age elementary school is.

StressedtoHellandBack · 13/03/2020 22:03

I am not confused at all. I am being careful and guarded.
Bullet points
1 I received a call which I failed to answer and a voicemail was left asking me to phone (name and number).
2 I call that number and ask to speak to that name. It was a Social Work office. Not available.
3 Receive a call which I answered. She said she was (name) and was calling for clarification on what worries I might have about (name).
4 I try to speak about what I know and she kept interrupting and talking over. I said I am not being allowed to speak.
5 I did not make the statement that I wanted to make which I thought was important. One sentence would have been sufficient to cause alert. I would have been prepared for further questions.
6 I was not pleased that she was not listening. It may be important or even vital for (children).
7 It was a phone call. Had it been a personal visit I would have asked for ID if not presented with ID.
8 I know that there have been worries expressed. I believe there are concerns and I would have liked to express those to a person I thought could help (the children).
9 It seems that this person was more interested in interrupting than listening. I assume that listening would be a good quality in a SW.

Is that clearer?

OP posts:
TARSCOUT · 13/03/2020 22:03

If you want to give a statement I suggest you contact them to make a face to face appointment as this could have been absolutely anyone phoning. If the adult male you were talking about was not connected to the situation in question that would be a different discussion.

StressedtoHellandBack · 13/03/2020 22:10

@Ellisandra most people would understand that elementary is the early part of school.
I have experienced what is probably a bad Social Worker and it is not a good representation for that occupation. I would not wish to be spoken to like that again by anyone. I would not want to put myself in such a position again.
There may well be good Social Workers this was not. The manner and content was triggering for me of past personal experiences

OP posts:
Verily1 · 13/03/2020 22:15

If you were as incoherent as you are here I’m not surprised she was frustrated and interrupted you!

Do you realise how busy SW are with actual child abuse?

They don’t have time to dance around the feelings of people with no hard facts that are testable in court.

Nicknacky · 13/03/2020 22:17

Why did you call social work about your concerns? Does the child have social work involvement or is it a family member of the child you are concerned?

Thisismytimetoshine · 13/03/2020 22:23

No,it’s still not clear. Did you make the initial report to ss, or were you a witness to something they wanted to interview you about?
Them asking about what worries you have suggests the first contact came from you?

letmeinthroughyourwindow · 13/03/2020 22:25

Without knowing what you were reporting it's impossible to say whether this is a case of a bad social worker unprofessionally dismissing genuine concerns, or an over-worked social worker quite correctly dismissing spurious, half-formed claims presented in a confused and incoherent way.

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