Strange Conversation with a Social Worker

[StressedtoHellandBack]

I had a call from a Social Worker. I do think she was a Social Worker but was not showing any traits that I would expect from a Social Worker. I would expect a Social Worker to be caring, understanding and kind.
She asked what I am worried about. When I tried to tell her she spoke over me and interrupted all the time. She did not allow me to speak at all and although she claimed she called me to gain some clarity all she really did was to cause further concerns that anyone I know should be involved with a person like that in an official capacity. If someone is distressed and has to face someone so nasty and unpleasant I don't know how they would cope. I am not having problems of any description but this woman was probably the most difficult person I have ever spoken to. I was in a job where I spoke to a lot of people every working day!
There was something I said about a man who was being inappropriate with a teenager and I was told that Social Workers would not be interested in that. She said that Social Workers were not interested in vulnerable people being bullied or attacked or a man watching children playing every time children were outside. I thought Social Workers were there to protect children and also vulnerable people but this woman said this was not the case.
Her conduct was enough to put me off ever talking to a Social Worker at any future point. She seemed to have no understanding of the situation or the damage being done. There is isolating of people from family and friends. She does not see that if an adult will not go into a situation, why is a child left in that same situation.
I really would appreciate any help with this situation. I don't want to make things any worse for some vulnerable people who are already under the control of some unpleasant persons.
Am I Being Unreasonable to think a Social Worker should be protecting children and vulnerable people and being a whole lot more interested in listening than talking over another person in a conversation that she instigated.

Judging by your posts, op, I imagine you completely failed to make yourself understood.

They called me.
People on here often change details or try not to say anything identifiable. If we were all to give real names, places, facts and figures there would be a lot of problems.

But you are making no sense so it’s hard to judge who was in the wrong. You can still keep it vague but say enough for it to make sense

Nobody needed names and places, don’t be silly! Your posts didn’t make any real sense at all. Seems your spoken conversation isn’t much better.

I understand what you're saying OP but I wouldn't let one bad experience with a social worker colour your view of the entire profession.

If you're concerned contact social services and ask to speak to a different social worker.

I'm unsure as to why you're posting here. You need to make a complaint/ask to speak to their manager. Just because they're a social worker doesn't automatically make them 'nice'.

* Oh most of them are cunts tbh* Very considered response

I don't think it would be wise for anyone to be specific.
I did not make any contact with SS in the first instance, they have been asking me for information.

I do not find it an easy conversation to have and pressuring me and interrupting is not going to make that conversation any easier. I would think that there would be previous situations where difficult conversation have to be had.
It is important to me and for children that people listen and accept information as given.
It would seem from the above that I am not good at communicating despite being in a job where communication is the whole purpose of the job. That seems strange!

OP - is there a language or a cultural difference between yourself and the social worker?

I'm sorry you didn't have a good experience over the phone with this person but you really have done your bit, Stressed. You won't be the only one SS speak to and you may even be called again, hopefully by someone else. In the meantime try not to worry and just carry on as normal.

Are people being deliberately obtuse. It’s crystal clear.

Someone has reported concerns about a child/safeguarding issue and named the OP as a potential witness.

OP was called by a social worker about those concerns but was apparently not allowed to speak/was constantly spoken over. (Very poor practise as people investigating such matters should allow a witness to speak and not ask leading questions or influence what is said.

OP is now concerned that a child is in danger/being groomed etc and no one is bothered.

I did not make any contact with SS in the first instance, they have been asking me for information

I think if you were clearer about how and why ss got in contact with you/asked you for information in the first place it might be easier to know what is going on.

So to clarify you are aware of an adult male who is ‘behaving inappropriately’ with a teenager, and as a result you are concerned about the welfare of some young children.

Are the young children in the adult male’s care? Is the teenager over 18? Is the behaviour inappropriate legally? Are the children related to him, or to someone close to you?

I would express your concerns in writing to SS.

@StressedtoHellandBack no, people in the UK do not all know the names of school stages in the US 🙄
You think most people in the US would know a prep from a middle from a KS3, or how YR fits into an otherwise numerical system, or that Y5 is the same as P6?

Thank god Comefromaway, I was about to say those points seemed pretty clear too.

I understand what you’re saying. Your writing style is very factual and bullet point and you want to conceal personal details. However if you explain a little bit on the surrounding issue (ie inappropriate adult / teen contact or neglected children due to drug abuse etc) you’re in contact about it may help people respond.

It sounds like the social worker wasn’t great or empathetic. Possibly they were time pressured and needed responses to specific questions they had.

Please don’t write off all social workers. I’m not one, but all people have bad days.

Is English not your first language? It comes across that way, so perhaps the social worker handled that badly. You're typing here, so you can edit and refine what you want to say and it still isnt completely coherent. I imagine on the phone, for a conversation you found hard, you were even more flustered? And the social worker disnt want to wait and listen.
The social worker was wrong. They should have listened. They should have given you a chance to speak. But maybe they were rude and just didnt want to deal with a language barrier. Try speaking to someone else.

@Comefromaway I think that’s a great summary of the probable situation - but it is much more clear than the OP.

I think OP is that concerned though, she’d contact the department in writing, rather than take her writing skills to the internet to complain that one poor listener has made her not want to bother with social workers at all. Either she has safeguarding concerns or not, and if she has - it seems rather poor that she’d take to MN to complain about one SW, instead of just detailing her concerns via the appropriate channel.

The most important thing here is that if you have concerns and information about a child's well-being being at risk, that you pass that one. I suggest you ring back and ask to speak to the council safeguarding officer and that you explain to them what your concerns are about the child and then complain about the social worker.
Failing that, please go and speak to the safguarding lead at their school - schools often have concerns raised by the community.
Failing that, ring the NSPCC.
Please don't let this lie if you think a child is at risk.

I try to speak about what I know and she kept interrupting and talking over.

We’re you a witness to something and describing something you saw, or were you offering opinions on a situation and recounting hearsay?

@LuluJakey1
Shes not in the UK so most of those suggestions dont work.

But if you are worried about a child or vulnerable person, why are you making it all about you?

Thank you to those who have understood my writing style and got the essence of the problem despite my being vague.
The teenager is now over 18 but things have escalated recently by which I mean that information has been found. This is actual evidence not just opinions. There are children younger than teens.
There are drink and very likely drug issues going on.
There are language, cultural and other differences between me and the Social Worker.
There are children living in situations which I would not be comfortable in and that I actively avoid but I can do nothing for the children and SW was the only hope in my thinking so I was prepared to speak until I heard her poor communications and listening skills. Unfortunately my head knows that there are good and bad in every occupation but I have left the life I was living with people being verbally abusive and I have no wish to return to such a situation with anyone at all, personal or occupational.
@AnyFucker Thank you for your succinct comment. Makes me wonder. I have my suspicions on why you would speak like that.

OP, I appreciate you are concealing details, but you write very incoherently and don’t seem to have the knack of communicating the salient points — is it possible that the SW was simply trying to get the information she needed and to stop you digressing into hearsay or irrelevant material with limited time to gather the facts?