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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel pissed off with tailgating drivers!

237 replies

Whenisithometime · 12/03/2020 17:46

Hi,

I’ve never been a person who goes above the speed limits when driving, obviously I’ve had a few moments were I’ve unintentionally gone over without realising but I’m not an intentional and persistent speeder.

Anyway, nearly everyday, I’m tailgated. More so in 30mph zones. I can’t stand it. I just can’t Understand why they feel I’m not going fast enough if I’m driving right at 30 in a 30. It really annoys me so much.

I try not to allow it to intimidate me but it really does. On my way home from work I was doing 55 on a 60mph road and was tailgated the whole way. When I got to the end of the road, I had to stop because it was a junction, and I looked in my mirror and I saw the driver staring at me and he flapped his arms up in the air as if I had been too slow which obviously I wasn’t. I got pissed off and pulled the fingers at him. He then flashed his lights at me (aggressively)

Just needed a rant I guess!

OP posts:
Puffinhead · 12/03/2020 18:15

I hate this too. I live in a city where lots of the residential areas are 20mph zones, mine included. Always some dickhead (man) driving up my bumper when I turn into it (from a 30 zone).

MimiLaRue · 12/03/2020 18:15

@buzzshitbagbobbly

That is no reason to tailgate. Tailgating is dangerous and idiotic. Yes, I agree its frustrating but tailgating achieves nothing except increasing aggression on the roads and potential danger. If a fox ran into the road and the driver in front had to break sharply and someone is tailgating- it could be very nasty

cologne4711 · 12/03/2020 18:15

I don't slow down if someone tailgates me because I think that's just as childish, but I have a hybrid and if stick to 30 in my town it stays on the electric mode. If that's actually 27mph, tough.

And other people think 60 is fine. Including the people who decide on speed limits. So you can't get upset at people being frustrated with you when you're clearly being over-cautious

The default limit is 60 so it's not "decided". There are nice straight roads where it's really annoying if someone drives at 40mph. But there are also bendy roads with 60 limits where it is annoying if people try to intimidate you into doing more than 50-55 because they are in their very important and large German branded car.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 12/03/2020 18:15

You need to adjust it so it clears your windscreen properly because if it's splashing someone else's it's not fully effective.

This. It's potentially dangerous and just stupid. And wasteful!
The very best thing you can do to get rid of a tailgater is pull over as soon as you can and let them past and on their way. Antagonising or doing stupid things like this makes everything worse. So what if they "win"?

Original poster
Whenisithometime · 12/03/2020 18:16

@GiveHerHellFromUs @BuzzShitbagBobbly

limits are guidelines. Often it is not safe to drive at them. They aren’t targets.

Yes I do slow down to 40 on bends (maybe slower if they are really sharp) because I don’t know what is on the other side of the bend. There could be a cyclist. There could be a pedestrian. There could be a car accident and cars stopped on the road. If I fly round a bend at a great speed, then I increase my chances of having a collision because I won’t have any time to stop in such circumstances

OP posts:
GiveHerHellFromUs · 12/03/2020 18:18

@cologne4711 of course people decide whether a road is 60mph or not. There's a country road close to me that was NSL and now it's a 50mph limit. There's also a bit of road that was 30 and is now NSL (albeit a ridiculous stretch of road to have as NSL). Someone's decided to make those changes.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 12/03/2020 18:18

Mimi "That is no reason to tailgate. Tailgating is dangerous and idiotic.

I know. I literally just said I think tailgating is a dick move, precisely to avoid people suggesting I think otherwise.

MimiLaRue · 12/03/2020 18:19

@Whenisithometime

I agree- it would be idiotic to fly around a blind sharp bend at 60 mph.

There could be literally anything on the other side

vodkaredbullgirl · 12/03/2020 18:19

Op how long have you been driving and are you a nervous driver.

Just asking

GiveHerHellFromUs · 12/03/2020 18:19

@Whenisithometime if you're driving round a really sharp bend to the point you can't see what's on the other side 40 is probably too fast to save their lives if you hit a cyclist

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 12/03/2020 18:20

I'm getting pissed with people driving too slowly. 60 road, clear and dry, bit bendy but not excessively and what are we doing? Pootling along at 35. Cant overtake due to the dips and bends, can't see far enough ahead, as the oncoming traffic, like any other sane driver, is doing about 50ish. What a tragic fucking waste of a BMW.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 12/03/2020 18:21

limits are guidelines. Often it is not safe to drive at them. They aren’t targets.

In your opinion. In someone else's it differs.
As I said in a pp, pull over and let them past. It's the only way to resolve it. You won't teach them anything and antagonising them is pointless.

I rarely use roads where this is an issue AND I have been tailgated, but when it has happened, I pull over asap so they can get by and do what they want. Less stressful all round.

ErrolTheDragon · 12/03/2020 18:23

I used to get tailgated quite a lot on my previous car, until I took note of the speed registering on the satnav - my speedo was right at the 10% low tolerance. Going at the speed limit using the satnav alleviated the issue.

I do hate tailgaters when I really am going at an appropriate speed for the road, but if you get this a lot it's worth checking the calibration of your speedo.

Giveitarest20 · 12/03/2020 18:25

@vodkaredbullgirl so is that what you do or condone? Drive dangerously close to the car in front when they don’t drive as quick as u like?

bert3400 · 12/03/2020 18:26

I hate tailgater's, with a passion and quite often go slower just to piss them off even more.
I've always wanted a light up board in the back of my car that would say . "Fuck off out of my arse ...you tosser".

Original poster
Whenisithometime · 12/03/2020 18:27

@vodkaredbullgirl I’ve been driving for at least 20 years now and I wouldn’t describe myself as a nervous driver.

My attitude is that it’s better to be too slow than too fast. Obviously driving at 30 in a 60 is unacceptable unless there is a hazard ahead, but I think slowing down on bends is sensible. If you go round a bend at 60, there is more than likely going to be a serious accident even if there isn’t anything on the other side as you’d probably go through a hedge

OP posts:
Hoggleludo · 12/03/2020 18:27

I also hate tail gating

I was tail gated in a 30 zone. I had to do an emergency stop. The guy behind me hit me. The way he hit me meant I hit the curb at a strange angle and went up and rolled 5 times. Landed on my roof and it too the services 5 hrs to cut me out.....

I got away good. With a broken cheekbone. Two black eyes. And broken ribs from the seatbelt.

It could of been so much worse. And that was at 30!!!!!!

I had to have driving lessons for over a year to get my confidence back

It terrifies me that someone who goes up my arse at 70. When I've got kids in the car. I try and hard as I can to just let them overtake. I hate it. People don't realise how easily they could kill a whole family in seconds.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 12/03/2020 18:27

Would also suggest getting a front an rear facing dashcam if tailgating is such a constant issue for OP.

In the event of a crash, both insurance companies can review what actually happened, at what speeds, in what conditions, and whether the mythical fox or cyclist had appeared on the blind bend etc.

(If the rear cam is clearly visible, it may also deter people from trying to get in your boot to start with too - win:win)

Hoggleludo · 12/03/2020 18:29

I'm baffled by the amount of comments of people saying they'd be pissed ofF

You wait till you're left in a mangled wreck from someone going 30....

GiveHerHellFromUs · 12/03/2020 18:32

@Hoggleludo it's more dangerous to drive at 30 in a 60 with a frustrated driver behind you than it is to drive at 55 in a 60 with everyone driving sensibly and calmly

Hoggleludo · 12/03/2020 18:32

I have front and rear Dashcams now. Due to that accident.

You can send the films of people driving like dicks to a police email.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 12/03/2020 18:33

Obviously driving at 30 in a 60 is unacceptable unless there is a hazard ahead, but I think slowing down on bends is sensible. If you go round a bend at 60

Now you are just being disingenuous. Putting words in people's mouths to say we think you must hurtle along at full throttle, come what may, in all weathers, round blind bends and over blind summits etc.

But in the absence of road hazards, adverse weather or other obstructions that cause you to adjust speed, we're saying that perhaps you may bear some responsibility, because this is happening to you "nearly every day". None of us are perfect, so it can't ALL be other people, ALL the time, can it.

Hingeandbracket · 12/03/2020 18:33

Twats do this sometimes. Then some posters on MN say it’s the fault of the person being tailgated. It isn’t.

Original poster
Whenisithometime · 12/03/2020 18:34

@BuzzShitbagBobbly I have a front dash cam but that’s a good idea re the rear one.

And if I’m driving within the speed limits, and I’m paying attention and a tailgater crashes into me, that’s their fault

OP posts:
Hoggleludo · 12/03/2020 18:34

I was driving 30 in a 30 zone when I got hit