Wibu to get rid of the sodding cat?

[Lemononachair]

I have recently moved into a place that is my first place all to myself. Bf stays over often but hasn't officially moved in.

First night of being here a cat showed up, howling outside the door. The landlady (who lives on the same site) knows all the local cats from the neighbours and says it isn't a local cat so she believed it may have been dumped by someone out of the area.

Weather was absolutely foul that night so Bf who loves cats decided to let the cat in and she's kind of stayed ever since.

Trouble is, the cat is an asshole and a huge pain in the arse. She can be quite cute but so far since being here she has:

Peed and shat on my brand new mattress, after only having it a week

Ruined 2 brand new king size duvets, a duvet cover, sheet and a blanket by peeing on them

Ruined the new carpet by clawing at it constantly

Clawed the blow up mattress I had before buying my new one, popping it and destroying it

Clawed the borrowed sofa of the landlady's

We have bought her a scratching post and she refuses to use it. I hate litter trays and there is no cat flap but we've been letting her out regularly and she still is toileting on my bed. I can't take anymore. I can't afford to keep replacing stuff she's ruining and I never wanted the bloody cat in the first place but given the weather was so stormy and awful I felt like a horrible bitch if I didn't let her in. I don't want the responsibility of looking after her. Bf seems upset at the prospect of kicking her out but what do I do?!

I refused to get a litter tray until now because I hate the idea of having a box of shit and piss lying around inside the house, they stink and usually aren't emptied regularly, and I know if I don't do it Bf probably won't do it. He says he will but since moving in I have bought all the food and 'stuff' for her (bowls, scratching post, bed etc), done all the feeding and scrubbing her pee and poo out of my stuff. I've had enough and really want nothing more to do with it.

Wibu to kick the cat out? Or should I say that she can stay but only provided I wash my hands of ALL of her care and Bf takes over everything?

Totally understand why you don't don't want her, but don't just kick her out. Call local Cat's Protection, they will come and collect.

Don't kick her out, take her to a shelter. At least you know she will be cared for.

Have you taken her to a vet to see if she is mirco-chipped?

Take her to a shelter. Don't just throw her out.

Poor cat.

Please don't just kick her out. DD has an indoor cat I look after sometimes and the litter tray is emptied once a day so there is no smell and I think you are being a tad unreasonable!

Will BF do the right thing by her? If not, I agree with GreenFingers.

Have you taken her to the vet so the cat be checked for a microchip? If so they can trace the owner for you.
If the cat is not microchipped then contact a shelter.

Yes take her to a shelter. And of course she's pissing on things if she doesn't have a tray ffs. If you do take her to a shelter you need a proper cat carrier to take her in. If you do keep her you need to book her in to be spayed asap.

Take it to a shelter.

You have a cat in the house with no litter tray and wonder why it’s shitting and pissing everywhere

He says he will but since moving in I have bought all the food and 'stuff' for her (bowls, scratching post, bed etc), done all the feeding and scrubbing her pee and poo out of my stuff.

You don't have a cat problem, you have a boyfriend problem. Actually you have a boundaries problem. He's made it your problem and you've let him.

Why doesn't your BF take her home? The twat has taken in a cat and left you to all the work and it's all your things that have been ruined.

Send her home with him tonight.

As pp said, not unreasonable to not take on the care of the cat, but take it to a shelter and explain it appears to be a stray, or call Cats Protection. Now that you've been feeding it and letting it in it will likely just sit outside and continue to howl, so it needs to be re-homed.

My own cats can drive me mad (I've recently had to get rid of an 18 month 3 piece suite that they destroyed. Boy cat will sh*t on the landing if litter box isn't to his standard etc..) I couldn't imagine keeping a stray cat that was ruining my house. Just take her to the shelter!

FFS get a litter tray, you may not like them, but having a stressed cat go to the toilet on your bed is hardly a preferable solution is it?

Or better still, phone a local cat rescue. They will check the cat for a microchip, take it to the vets if needed and look after it and rehome if it doesn't have an owner that wants it back.

When I say 'kick her out' I do mean take her to a shelter rather than just out into the wilderness to fend for herself! I'm not a monster 😂

It's just awkward as I don't drive so cant take her myself. I also can't get the pissy duvets to a laundrette to wash them as my machine is too small and it's too far to carry them. Heating in this space is really expensive so having to use only a thin summer duvet and therefore barely sleeping as I'm so cold and going to work exhausted. At the end of my tether with it.

Bf says he'll do a lot of things but doesn't always follow through. He means well but he just doesn't think. We're going away next weekend and no idea what he thinks is going to happen to the cat then. Who will feed her? Longer term, what happens if she gets sick? I can't afford insurance or to pay for vet bills, especially for an animal I didn't even want.

Hate cats.
But don't dump it, take it to a shelter.
It can't help being a cat.

Yes, call the rescue place and get rid of it.

Hang on, you shut the cat in the house with no litter tray, and then get all indignant that it pees and shits in the house?

You have no idea about this cat's experience prior to arriving at your door, but you magically expect it to be house trained, and know to wait until you let it out??

YABU. Take it to a shelter.

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That's a stressed out cat. Take it to a shelter so they can find a suitable home. People assume cats are easy pets but they require a lot of time and care, particularly at first as they settle in.

Blimey I really don’t blame you and unless the BF is on your lease/mortgage and actually living together and contributing then his wants on this matter is irrelevant to me and he can take her back to his place and deal with all the destruction at his place.

There is nothing worse than having a pet you don’t want and it’s not fair on the kitty. Take her to a shelter, please don’t just kick her out.

What did you think would happen if the cat was kept inside without a litter tray? It has to shit and piss somewhere doesn't it? On a more practical note, you can launder the sheets and duvets -- and you can get special cat-piss cleaner. And yes, obviously call a shelter.

She isn't pissing and shitting on everything all the time. Normally she meows to go out and I put her out in the day when I'm at work. It's only happened twice but even once is too many.

I've outlined the reasons I hate litter trays. Especially since it's a very small place and there are really limited places to put one.

Please take the cat to a shelter or call Cat's Protection/ a local rescue home. He/ she will then be looked after by people who understand animals and can take the necessary steps. The cat is probably as stressed and unhappy about being there as you.

I think the issue is straightforward - a cat has turned up at your house but you don't want a cat. This is fine. If your boyfriend wants her then great, if not she goes to the local shelter.

Can you get a mate with a car to pick her up next weekend and take her to CPL? At least then your bf can't kick off. I couldn't stand the toileting but if she's an outdoor cat, not getting her a litter tray and putting her on it is foolish.