Wibu to get rid of the sodding cat?

[Lemononachair]

I have recently moved into a place that is my first place all to myself. Bf stays over often but hasn't officially moved in.

First night of being here a cat showed up, howling outside the door. The landlady (who lives on the same site) knows all the local cats from the neighbours and says it isn't a local cat so she believed it may have been dumped by someone out of the area.

Weather was absolutely foul that night so Bf who loves cats decided to let the cat in and she's kind of stayed ever since.

Trouble is, the cat is an asshole and a huge pain in the arse. She can be quite cute but so far since being here she has:

Peed and shat on my brand new mattress, after only having it a week

Ruined 2 brand new king size duvets, a duvet cover, sheet and a blanket by peeing on them

Ruined the new carpet by clawing at it constantly

Clawed the blow up mattress I had before buying my new one, popping it and destroying it

Clawed the borrowed sofa of the landlady's

We have bought her a scratching post and she refuses to use it. I hate litter trays and there is no cat flap but we've been letting her out regularly and she still is toileting on my bed. I can't take anymore. I can't afford to keep replacing stuff she's ruining and I never wanted the bloody cat in the first place but given the weather was so stormy and awful I felt like a horrible bitch if I didn't let her in. I don't want the responsibility of looking after her. Bf seems upset at the prospect of kicking her out but what do I do?!

I refused to get a litter tray until now because I hate the idea of having a box of shit and piss lying around inside the house, they stink and usually aren't emptied regularly, and I know if I don't do it Bf probably won't do it. He says he will but since moving in I have bought all the food and 'stuff' for her (bowls, scratching post, bed etc), done all the feeding and scrubbing her pee and poo out of my stuff. I've had enough and really want nothing more to do with it.

Wibu to kick the cat out? Or should I say that she can stay but only provided I wash my hands of ALL of her care and Bf takes over everything?

I used puppy training pads instead of litter, far less messy and you can buy some that are environmentally friendly. That's if you feel inclined to keep her of course. If you're not, take her to a rescue centre.

As for litter tray, empty it in to a bag. Tie up the bag and put it straight to the big bin out side. Nappy sacks or small bin liners are good. Line the tray with newspapers in case anything seeps through, but with good litter it rarely does. Tell your bf he owes you and prepare a payment plan for him

She hasn't got a litter tray.

All cats should have a litter tray and access to a cat flap so you should let her go to a shelter

I recently adopted two stray cats in poor health. I took them to the vet to check for a microchip (a free service in most areas), and they searched lost pet databases for me. Having determined they were not owned, I then got them chipped, sterilised, treated for fleas and worms, steroids and antibiotics for bad skin issues, and pain relief as one had a prolapsed spine. Both used litter trays, although they prefer going outside. It is more natural. You can deal with toilet smells with white vinegar. It is safe and does not smell bad, and breaks down the crystals that cause odour. One of my cats is a wallpaper shredder, it drives me crackers. I have cat scratchers and cat nip which helps a bit, but I wake up some mornings think Freddie Kruegar has visited in the night. One stray left 'presents' in my bed for a few weeks. I understand it is marking territory and stress relief. It goes away with some love and patience. You need litter trays in a few rooms. Animal charities where I live in Devon are full, and will not accept stray adult cats. I made inquiries when I took the cats in, but now they are very much part of the family. Their affection towards myself and my family is amazing, they have even taken to our dog and wash him. Feral cats can live in the wild, but stray cats have a very shorter life expectancy as they are lost, frightened domestic pets who do not cope well with the perils of being outside all the time. If you don't want this cat, find it a home.

not have it thrust upon me and at a very stressful time at work which exacerbates everything else.

This is such a silly drama llama thread. Thrust upon you indeed! You CHOSE to half arse taking in a cat. Your house. Your choice.
As everyone else has said, the fact that you haven't even bothered checking it for a microchip is ridiculous, but then the whole situation is. Ridiculous.

That's bad considering it's not your cat!....you hate litter trays BUT why would you leave it filled with piss and shit? You change it as soon as she uses it!!! A temporary measure until you rehomed her or your house is going to stink forever as you never get rid of the smell of cat piss.

As in that's bad what the cats doing different if it's your cat! Annoying but having a let some things you have to suck up. But a random cat would be annoying.

I think you have a bf problem as well. You should re-home him as well as the cat.

Call a local shelter and explain that you have found an abandoned cat and you’re not in a position to look after it.

Mine will not go outside to wee. So if I didn't have a litter tray he would go anywhere in the house

Post on FB lost found groups and someone will have a scanner

Cat is probably shitting all over because of the lack of a litter tray.

Cats don't shit on the bed because of lack of litter trays. A caught short cat would try to find a corner to go in. It's more likely the cat was stressed, ill, or confused, especially as it's only happened a couple of times.

Once again, trays are not essential if you train your cat to go in the garden- people kept cats as pets long before the advent of the litter box!

Take the cat to a vet asap to get checked for a chip.
If it's not chipped then you need to try and find the owner, otherwise you've basically stolen someone's pet.

That animal sounds stressed. I adopted my cat from someone who didn't want her and she was a NIGHTMARE with pissing in the bath all the time, despite having a litter tray. Turns out she was stressed at the change of scenery/smells etc - cats are sensitive souls underneath the mischievous exterior and feel stress and anxiety just like we do!
The moggy you've "taken in" sounds an unhappy little thing. As others have said, take her to a shelter. Hopefully she will find her forever home soon.

Going on a bed can be a sign of pain/distress in an animal - they know it will hurt so they look for somewhere soft to do their business. Hopefully she can be checked by a vet soon.

Not your cat, not your problem. It'll find another mug to pander to it.

From your first post, sounds like your DP took on the responsibility.. cats don’t just come from
Nowhere, they have homes, when you start to feed them, they don’t go home... also from your first post, sounds like you’ve got yourself a fella like so many these days happy to sponge off you, cocklodger is the Mumsnet term...
I think that’s your main issue as opposed to this cat, please don’t feed, take to a shelter and move forward...

@Rowan8 cats don’t just come from
Nowhere, they have homes, when you start to feed them, they don’t go home

You couldn't be more wrong. Organisations that have studied this have concluded that there are more stray and feral cats in the UK than there are owned ones, by some considerable margin. Many end up stray because they become lost (very often because they are not neutered and so end up being chased by toms over very long distances or chasing females over very long distances and then not being able to find their way home), and many, many more are simply abandoned.

Our rescue must can at least four reports a day of cats left behind by owners when they moved away. And just imagine how many don't get reported to us. And we are just one, smallish, rescue.

Yes there will be some cats that go round eating in different houses that actually have homes, but there are many millions (not an exaggeration) more that rely on being fed by someone who takes pity on them.

I do agree with the advice that the OP should take this cat to a shelter however.

If you have a cat, you need a litter tray. You cannot "train" a cat to go in the garden; what you are actually doing is forcing the cat to wait until it is convenient to you to let it out. Cats are prone to cystitis, and should not be expected to hold on the way dogs can.

Cat is marking its territory on your bed. Cats will sniff where you have been and 'make your smell theirs' that's why they lick after a meal and also after a cuddle to mix in your smells with theirs.

Take it to a Vet and ask them to scan the cat and also list it on VetNet they can see if anyone is missing their cat (we did this once with a cat that had been dumped). You don't need a cat box we didn't have one so we put holes in a cardboard box or wicker basket I think?? and carry her along. The vet will also give her the once over.

If you want to keep the cat buy Feliway plug in or spray to help her calm down. You could also butter her pads to encourage her licking and feromone scent marking. Keep doors closed to your bedroom.

Cats love piles of clean newspaper and cardboard boxes (ask in Tesco) and it's a good diversion tactic (away from your duvet) that makes her new cardboard/newspaper bed is her idea. Her territory.

Oh and take your DP to a shelter. He's affecting the cat's behaviour.

Wtf do you expect, the poor cat doesn't know where to go to the toilet as you haven't provided anywhere.

I don't think she was 'homeless' as such. She looked clean and well fed. She just wouldn't leave and kept yowling to come in.

Stop feeding someone else’s cat

Honestly why do people do that? If you think the cat is lost or abandoned take them to have their chip scanned. Don’t just start feeding them

@TeaAndDarkToast None of that is necessary. The cat isn't marking her territory - she is reacting to be shut in without a litter tray. All she needs is a litter tray.

She does though need to be scanned and should really be handed over to a shelter. Also it would be a good idea to put some posters about a found cat on trees/lamp posts in the area.