Wibu to get rid of the sodding cat?

[Lemononachair]

I have recently moved into a place that is my first place all to myself. Bf stays over often but hasn't officially moved in.

First night of being here a cat showed up, howling outside the door. The landlady (who lives on the same site) knows all the local cats from the neighbours and says it isn't a local cat so she believed it may have been dumped by someone out of the area.

Weather was absolutely foul that night so Bf who loves cats decided to let the cat in and she's kind of stayed ever since.

Trouble is, the cat is an asshole and a huge pain in the arse. She can be quite cute but so far since being here she has:

Peed and shat on my brand new mattress, after only having it a week

Ruined 2 brand new king size duvets, a duvet cover, sheet and a blanket by peeing on them

Ruined the new carpet by clawing at it constantly

Clawed the blow up mattress I had before buying my new one, popping it and destroying it

Clawed the borrowed sofa of the landlady's

We have bought her a scratching post and she refuses to use it. I hate litter trays and there is no cat flap but we've been letting her out regularly and she still is toileting on my bed. I can't take anymore. I can't afford to keep replacing stuff she's ruining and I never wanted the bloody cat in the first place but given the weather was so stormy and awful I felt like a horrible bitch if I didn't let her in. I don't want the responsibility of looking after her. Bf seems upset at the prospect of kicking her out but what do I do?!

I refused to get a litter tray until now because I hate the idea of having a box of shit and piss lying around inside the house, they stink and usually aren't emptied regularly, and I know if I don't do it Bf probably won't do it. He says he will but since moving in I have bought all the food and 'stuff' for her (bowls, scratching post, bed etc), done all the feeding and scrubbing her pee and poo out of my stuff. I've had enough and really want nothing more to do with it.

Wibu to kick the cat out? Or should I say that she can stay but only provided I wash my hands of ALL of her care and Bf takes over everything?

So you've stolen someone's cat, trapped it in your house without a litter tray and now you're going to take it to a rescue? Right.

I don't have any friends with cats to borrow a carrier, and I live quite rurally so the nearest town with a vet/rescue would cost a fortune to get to. I'm very reluctant to spend any more money as I really don't have it right now. This is why it's so upsetting as I had no money for a bed (hence the blow up one) and had saved up to buy a nice new one, and a decent duvet after cold weeks of sleeping on the floor under a thin blanket. Finally get it and it's now ruined.

Poor cat. I love cats. I wish I could have one but I’m allergic.

Humans don’t deserve animals!!

The cat is neither stolen nor trapped. If she wanted to leave she can do so at any time, She is outside all day while I'm at work and goes out several times throughout the evening. She just keeps coming back and yowling and me to be let in then yowling for food. I think it could be that the previous person who lived here fed her and that's why she keeps coming back.

I've been a cat fosterer for 20 years. I've never not provided a cat with a litter tray. Eve semi-ferals know what they are there for.

I'm so flummoxed that you think shitting on your bed is preferable to shitting in a tray that can be easily and cleanly disposed of! The cat did that because it needed to go. Some cats will not ask to go out like dogs will. My own pet cat won't use a litter tray, she prefers to go outside, but I keep one for her in case she had a sudden emergency, and she did use it in that case.

Please don't keep a cat and deny it use of the basic facilities it needs. It's a domestic cat, not a wild animal who wants to shit anywhere.

And anyway your first port of call should have been the local vet to get her scanned for a chip. You might find she belongs to a neighbour but the former tenant was feeding her and that's why she keeps coming back.

Vet
Cats Protection or another rescue
or at least buy her a litter tray so she can be comfortable

Can you ring some local shelters and see if they can collect her from you? Lots of shelters also have volunteers with cat chip scanners who could come out to you and scan her and see if she does have a microchip and owner(s).

I genuinely don’t understand any of this.

You don’t want a cat.
Your boyfriend doesn’t live with you so it’s not his house to make decisions about.

A random cat turns up. It’s not your cat.

Rather than ignore the cat (because cats are known CFs who chance their arm) or report the cat to a vet or a shelter so it could be checked for a chip IN CASE SOMEONE IS MISSING THEIR PET 🤦🏻‍♀️, you let him decide to take the cat in to your (rented?) house where you then start buying all manner of cat paraphernalia for a cat that you never wanted but don’t buy a litter tray, even though you work and the cat will be shut in the house and alone. You are now irate that the cat has wrecked your house, that you’ve spent money on loads of cat clobber, and that your boyfriend has been useless about the whole thing.

The is a litany of unreasonable things about this entire situation.

The single reasonable thing you could do is to get rid of the cat.

Oh FFS. Whine, whine, whine.

You deliberately refused to have a litter tray after taking in a completely strange cat (which you should have had scanned for a chip the very first morning), and now you're playing the martyr about your nice things being wrecked.

Take some personal responsibility.

That cat might have owners frantically looking for it. You very first morning, you should have had it scanned and rung up the CPL in your area with a description of the cat

Instead, you've kept the cat, and not given it a litter tray. Were you actually hoping something like this would happen so that you could have a reason to justify getting rid of it again to the boyfriend?

You can call a rescue and they will come out to you if they have space. Try Cats Protection first. (Not the RSPCA if you like the cat at all, they are terrible.) Now is probably a good time actually, before everywhere fills up with kittens.

Ignore my post above as I missed your recent posts. If you or your BF have the will, why not try to find the owners? They will likely be missing their pet.

*If you do not have a cat carrier to take her to the nearest vet you may try to call them first to check they will offer this service for free.

Check your local Lost Cat list.

Circulate information in the local area. For all these actions you may wish to hold back some details, and request a photo of the missing cat from anyone who contacts you, to be sure the owner is genuine.

Make up some notices saying “Cat Found” or these can be obtained from Lost and Found Helpline for cats.

Talk to neighbours and the postman. Do they know of anyone who has lost a cat or if they have seen any Missing Cat posters nearby?

Add a post to local social media pages, again, withholding information so sickos don't contact you for the poor cat.

She is outside all day while I'm at work

Because you don’t have a cat flap, so she can’t get in.

You’re really not sounding any better.

Please give the cat to a rescue. They can scan and see if it has an owner (sounds quite possible) if not they can rehome, carefully to someone who is genuinely up for having a cat.

First night of being here a cat showed up, howling outside the door. The landlady (who lives on the same site) knows all the local cats from the neighbours and says it isn't a local cat so she believed it may have been dumped by someone out of the area.

I wonder if the cat and her owner(s) have recently moved to the area which could explain why your landlady doesn't recognise her and the cat appears cared for but lost?

Might be worth knocking on neighbourhood doors, the cat may even have a few homes!

Post on Facebook do you have a local page. Ours always have people with a mobile scanner to check for microchips.

Have you taken her to the vet to see if she is microchipped.??

Regardless of anything else you are BVU to have a cat that may have a loving owner looking for them without checking.

Facebook lost and found pets groups are good at reuniting. There are many and people share from one to another.

You might find someone that wants to help the cat rather than keep complaining and finding reasons not to help it. People come and scan for a chip if they can, and will remove it somewhere where it can be taken care of and given a litter tray.

Please do the right thing and find someone to check the poor cat, or take it to a vet. You don't need a carrier, you can ask in local groups to borrow one, or ask someone to help you. Just don't give it to someone that isn't part of a rescue.

Never had a litter tray. They aren't compulsory and cats can and do go out to toilet. They can, in theory, if they have a cat flap. If they don't have a cat flap they have to have a tray. Cats can't hold it the way dogs can. To not have a flap and not have a tray is both cruel and stupid (as everything will get pissed on).

And, once again, they chances are she's not neutered. If you/your boyfriend do keep her then she needs to be spayed within the next couple of weeks maximum. Or she will be pregnant and then what?

She needs to go to a shelter - and she must go in a proper carrier and not in a cardboard box. If you don't want to buy a carrier perhaps a neighbour can lend one to you.

To people saying you can't have a cat without a litter tray and that you can't put cats out to pee- yes you absolutely can!

I have two cats, and as soon as they were old enough to play outside we weened them off the litter tray! They've never had one since- they meow at the door when they need the toilet and if you can't be in all day to let them in and out then you can get a cat flap so they can go out by themselves. Cats usually have amazing bladder control- mine will go 12 hours easily without going to the toilet- certainly all night as I rarely have to get u in the night to let them out. (and if I do it's more because it's summer and they can hear the birds singing at 5am)

Every night I put my cats out at 10pm for a wee and call them back half an hour later for supper- they then sleep until 8pm the next day!

8am I mean!

Bf said he was going to pay for the cat stuff on payday, I just fronted it. I think he missed having a cat because he had one at his previous place and isn't allowed one where he lives now. Think he got overexcited and he now lost interest now that there is work involved. Hence why I don't want a tray as I know I will be the one emptying it all the time and I don't want a stinky kitchen bin full of cat poop all the time.

I know people say they don't smell but they really do. I've had dogs before and they smell too. There is no way you can have animals or a container of excrement in your house and have it not smell, you just get used to it and don't notice it anymore.

Anyways. Thank you for all the advice. I've never taken in a cat before and it wasn't my idea so I genuinely didn't know that there were services for checking for microchips, collecting strays etc. Landlady seemed insistent that she wasn't local and I just felt bad for her at the time, out in the storm soaking wet and crying.

Last time I had animals was years ago before microchipping really came in. I do like animals, I just want to take one on at the right time when I'm ready and prepared to do so, not have it thrust upon me and at a very stressful time at work which exacerbates everything else.

Will do some research and see if I can find an owner or a rescue for her.

Honestly, call Cats Protection. Just search for your county on the website. If they have a cattery or fosterer space available anywhere in the county a welfare officer will come and pick her up. They will get her scanned for a chip too.

Surprised at all the people thinking you can’t have a cat without a litter tray. I’ve never had one for any of my cats (bar the first couple weeks I had them before they could go out). If a box of Piss and shit in the house was a necessity to keep them then I wouldn’t have them

Shut your bedroom door so the cat can't crap on the bed?

Why on earth haven’t you had her checked for a microchip?? There could well be some poor owners somewhere who are mourning their cat that’s disappeared. Before spending money on all the “stuff” for it, that is the first thing you should have done.

Amazing all the reasons you can’t get her to a vet or rescue - cannot believe that somewhere near you there is no one to lend you a carrier, especially if the landlady know so many local cats.

I’m not going to go into the other stuff as there’s no point in outlining just how wrong everything is about. You don’t want the cat, can’t provide it with what it needs.

Instead of posting multiple times on here, please spend your keyboard time looking up details of local shelters and maybe even trying to find someone who would take you to a vet to get her flipping microchipped - if there are that many local cats then I cannot imagine a genuine cat owner not offering to help you out. Most vets won’t charge for checking a chip on a stray/lost cat. How does your boyfriend get to you when he stays over - you say you’re rural, so I don’t imagine he walks? Tell him he needs to help you, no good feeling sad if it’s plainly obvious the situation isn’t working.

GET THE FLIPPING CAT CHECKED FOR A FLIPPING MICROCHIP. I honestly don’t understand why so many people nowadays can’t figure out that this is the first thing you should do.

Litter trays don't smell if you use the right sort of litter (wood pellets don't smell for example) and of course if you get rid of the shit straight away. and @FreakStar our rescue, and I'm sure most others, consider it cruel (not mention bloody stupid) to not give a cat either a tray or a cat flap. Cats get distressed if they can't toilet anywhere (as would you!) and most won't be able to hold it.

OP - all that is beside the point though. The cat needs to go to a shelter.