UPDATE Dragon Pulled Golden Carriage available for booking in August

[Mumofyoungteenagers]

For all of you who read my not being invited to the day AIBU were wondering the outcome of my either, brilliant/rubbish/begging text or wether I was stupid to offer/ a good friend/ or only doing it to buy an invite here’s the update.

REPLY TEXT “Hi mumof...... yes I thought you might be disappointed in not receiving a day invite, and I know you would have loved to see me arrive at the ceremony, but I’m sure you’ll understand that as a bride I have to make some decisions that might be hurtful to others. But you’ll also understand that there is no malice intended, I’ll make sure you get to see all the photos so you’ll still get to see it.

I’m sorry I wasn’t able to tell you face to face, but you’ve been so poorly and I didn’t think you’d want to be disturbed by me calling round.

I’ll pop round for a coffee and a chat when you’re better, maybe you can help me choose gifts for the BM’s?

Hugs (bride)

MY REPLY..... Dear Bride, I think you may be disappointed to read this text, but I’m sure you’ll understand that as a ex friend I have to make decisions that might be hurtful to others. Obviously you’ll also understand that there is no malice intended, but I will not be making any more payments towards the dragon pulled golden carriage for your wedding,

I’m afraid also won’t be able to attend your weddings evening do as I’ll be on holiday with (hubs) but I’ll make sure you get to see all the photos so you’ll get to see where I went.

I’m sorry I’m not able to tell you face to face, but I don’t want make myself even more poorly by calling round.

Mumof........

I guess that’s the friendship over. Been crying a bit (a lot) hence the delay in replying. But it was a genuine offer at the time, I guess I shouldn’t have made it, but she was so sad at not having the dragon that I thought what better gift than this, she’s got enough toasters. I suppose gifts shouldn’t come with strings but I really was looking forward to being at the wedding I would have wanted to be there gift or no, but the tone of the reply was so dismissive I couldn’t bear to go or pay. And I tried not to be nasty but I feel so hurt. Hubs though is defo taking me away, illness allowing. (Silver lining)

Now of course I’ll be worried about how awful her day will be, no bride should have her day ruined etc etc. The drugs I’m currently being blitzed on do make me more melancholic and anxious but I’m a worrier anyway.

I hope I made the right decision.....

No, Jane OP isn't going to pay any more.

Q

She is an absolute thundercunt and you did the right thing. Don't give it any more head space, OP.

Thanks @Lycanthropology .

Besides everyone knows dragons hibernate in August and hang out in their nice cool caves counting their treasure in multiples of £600. OP you’ve actually saved her from a firey, grumpy dragon and she should be eternally grateful.

I think 'as a bride' will one day look back and feel very ashamed.

Well done OP

I’m sorry you’re upset but you did the right thing. I think she was taking advantage of your generous and kind nature. We all know it’s the bride and groom’s choice who to invite to their wedding but it is not on to discuss wedding in detail with someone and accept a generous gift without letting them know they won’t be invited to the wedding. Friend clearly knew OP was expecting an invitation to the day and didn’t say anything until OP raised it.

Wedding threads often attract accusations of trolling. Some of them may be. But unfortunately I find this kind of CF'ery eminently believable. There's something about weddings and funerals that brings out the absolute beast in people. I've seen this unfold in real time on too many occasions for it to be coincidence; amazing the way seemingly reasonable people can suddenly start to behave like Veruca Salt on steroids, or formerly loving family members scrap like cats over the spoils of their departed relative's life.

It's all very sad, but as far as valuable relationships are concerned it does tend to sort out the wheat from the chaff. IME, this has been for the best in the longrun.

OP - APPLAUSE for your response! You are absolutely not a saddo. Quite the reverse: that's the response of someone who values themselves and will not accept shoddy, disgusting treatment especially when they've gone over and above with a beautiful gesture (and it's one she probably despises you for making, being the entitled type she is). She had you down as a mug, I'm afraid, so kudos to you for showing her otherwise and taking your dignity back.

Have a wonderful holiday. You deserve it.

I put this on your original thread @mumofyoungteenagers

Please check the T&Cs of any agreement you signed with the transport company. You may be liable.

Can you not just completely cancel the booking if it's in your name?

Do not cancel the dragon.

Pay the £600 and you and hubs use it to ‘royal wave’ at the wedding on the way to your holiday.

(I’m a petty, petty bitch)

Hope she realises what a mistake she made!

Eeek. Crikey, I'm not entirely sure about your reply tbh OP, but hope you feel better for sending it.

Now, more importantly, no more starting two separate threads so everyone gets more and more confused - and there are inevitably people who haven't RTTFTs (read the two fucking threads) who make everyone else very cross.

AMAZING REPLY OP!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Very well handled OP, you should be very proud. That bridezilla will some day realise how badly she has treated you and should feel very embarrassed.
If you are asked about the wedding just say you weren't invited to the whole event but was expected to still pay for a piece that you wouldn't see. Have your default response ready.

This type of behaviour from "friends" where they just act like assholes is so common. I've recently called out a friend over being nasty repeatedly, and she didn't have the decency to respond. Coward. Now the friendship is in limbo. Over? Not? Who knows.

What are we supposed to do? Suck it up and take the crap from "friends" or just lose those friends. It's really hard. I find myself in this position a lot more and it's very upsetting. Why are people such cruel assholes?

Hi folks,

Please can we stop the troll-hunting? We understand you may have doubts - as ever, the way to deal with these concerns is to report them to us, so that we can investigate.

Troll hunting is against talk guidelines and persistently posting in this way is likely to result in a suspension. If you don't like the thread or don't want to be involved in the discussion, hide it and move on.

Thanks all.

Enough4me. I love the comparison of the bride with Miss Piggy, it really is apt. What an unkind woman she is. You're well rid.

Hope you have a lovely holiday with your family.

Brilliant answer, OP! I hope you get your deposit back. I'm appalled at the sheer callousness of her response.

She's a fcking bitch.

This isn't about presents "with strings", its about- you dont go out of your way to do huge favours for people who treat you in return like a bit of dirt they've scraped off their shoe! She is not a nice or good person- she has shown you her true colours now. Youve done the right thing in getting rid of her- friendship is a two way street. Its not one person constantly doing nice things for the other whilst the other kicks you in the face in return. Well rid OP.

@Pondlover

She's known the bride since she was a child!

@Motherofteenage

Damn! That was one hell of a text. I CANNOT believe that anyone. ANYONE thinks your reply wasn't good

You handled this with class. Respect and your head held high.

Good luck!

you've done nothing wrong and to say you can see the photos wow just wow!!

What about hiring the dragon thing for yourself that day? Ride around in it?

Then she can't book it for the day!

I’m so hurt on your behalf @Mumofyoungteenagers!

I think you need a hobby.

Deleted, even though I specifically said I was not calling the OP a troll? Interesting.