UPDATE Dragon Pulled Golden Carriage available for booking in August

[Mumofyoungteenagers]

For all of you who read my not being invited to the day AIBU were wondering the outcome of my either, brilliant/rubbish/begging text or wether I was stupid to offer/ a good friend/ or only doing it to buy an invite here’s the update.

REPLY TEXT “Hi mumof...... yes I thought you might be disappointed in not receiving a day invite, and I know you would have loved to see me arrive at the ceremony, but I’m sure you’ll understand that as a bride I have to make some decisions that might be hurtful to others. But you’ll also understand that there is no malice intended, I’ll make sure you get to see all the photos so you’ll still get to see it.

I’m sorry I wasn’t able to tell you face to face, but you’ve been so poorly and I didn’t think you’d want to be disturbed by me calling round.

I’ll pop round for a coffee and a chat when you’re better, maybe you can help me choose gifts for the BM’s?

Hugs (bride)

MY REPLY..... Dear Bride, I think you may be disappointed to read this text, but I’m sure you’ll understand that as a ex friend I have to make decisions that might be hurtful to others. Obviously you’ll also understand that there is no malice intended, but I will not be making any more payments towards the dragon pulled golden carriage for your wedding,

I’m afraid also won’t be able to attend your weddings evening do as I’ll be on holiday with (hubs) but I’ll make sure you get to see all the photos so you’ll get to see where I went.

I’m sorry I’m not able to tell you face to face, but I don’t want make myself even more poorly by calling round.

Mumof........

I guess that’s the friendship over. Been crying a bit (a lot) hence the delay in replying. But it was a genuine offer at the time, I guess I shouldn’t have made it, but she was so sad at not having the dragon that I thought what better gift than this, she’s got enough toasters. I suppose gifts shouldn’t come with strings but I really was looking forward to being at the wedding I would have wanted to be there gift or no, but the tone of the reply was so dismissive I couldn’t bear to go or pay. And I tried not to be nasty but I feel so hurt. Hubs though is defo taking me away, illness allowing. (Silver lining)

Now of course I’ll be worried about how awful her day will be, no bride should have her day ruined etc etc. The drugs I’m currently being blitzed on do make me more melancholic and anxious but I’m a worrier anyway.

I hope I made the right decision.....

Ha brilliant idea to turn the text back on to her.I hope she feels suitably ashamed.But somehow i doubt it,

Yes @Stonefancier I noticed that too, but I wonder if it’s because you said you didn’t believe the content of her messages?

even though I specifically said I was not calling the OP a troll?

"I'm not calling her a troll but I don't believe X, Y or Z" is basically calling them a troll.

@ShirleyPhallus, I didn't even say that, in fact! But I will not repeat what I did say, as clearly MNHQ thinks it unacceptable to suggest that from time to time posters on anonymous internet forums may go with the witty/devastating turn of phrase they wish they had used to someone who has upset them, especially when cheered on by said forum.

I've no difficulty at all in believing that the OP made the offer and was devastated to find that the bride and groom didn't consider her a close enough friend for a day invitation. But I think her generosity has in fact muddied the waters. I'm far from sure that I would want a wedding invitation from someone who would not otherwise have invited me purely because I had given them such an expensive wedding present they felt obliged. Especially if even that was only offered grudgingly after I'd complained.

even though I specifically said I was not calling the OP a troll?

"I'm not calling her a troll but I don't believe X, Y or Z" is basically calling them a troll.

Precisely. I think it was a case of this poster trying to troll hunt in such a way that the post wouldn't get deleted.

I do find troll hunting really irritating because it derails some really good threads.

Okay, I apologise, @Stonefancier i can see that my previous post was unfair. It was just a different interpretation of the facts.

Cancel now and I'd try to get the deposit back. Fuck her. She had no intention of speaking to you face-to-face. At least you won't get an invitation with a tacky request to part with yet more dosh for their honeymoon.

FWIW op, you’ve done the right thing. She obviously doesn’t value your friendship like you do. You sound kind hearted and a lovely person xx

Good for you!!

"I'm not calling her a troll but I don't believe X, Y or Z"isbasically calling them a troll.

Bollocks it is. Plenty of threads on AIBU start off with wholly honest intentions, but it's easy to get caught up in the drama and attention. Things get exaggerated for effect, keeps the audience coming back for more and encouraging the OPs of these threads. Ultimately, none of us know 100% the truth of any person posting here, or will ever get a balanced view of a story. It's not awful to think a poster may have gone off kilter with their problem.

Nothing on MN should ever be taken at face value, too many get over invested in drama threads like it's their daily dose of a soap opera.

As for the op, I'm sorry you've lost a friendship but I think its obvious this is done on both sides now. Just block her and enjoy your holiday.

I still want to know how the mode of transport is deemed too outing, after @Mumofyoungteenagers has copied and pasted her friend's texts on the internet already...

Surely you're fucked if friend sees this anyway, so you may as well say what it is...

No problem, @Mittens030869 -- thanks.

You're a hero. Brilliant reply. Have a fabulous holiday!

Presumably OP and bride don't want the other guests knowing that Bridezilla is a shit friend

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles or you could mind your business and keep it moving. She doesn’t have to put herself to satisfy your nosiness.

Genuinely excellent reply and there really is no come back it was so well crafted.

let me tell you the tale of Mumof
as brave and bold as knights of old
A woman soon to be wed didn’t have the cash
To arrive at her wedding cutting a bit of a dash
So she spun a tale to melt the strings of Mumof’s heart
Who being kind, played the fairy godmother’s part
She saved hard her dosh and paid for the dream carriage
and looked forward to seeing the smiles at the marriage

But then! the bride-to-be showed her true colours
Sent only an evening invite! oh the horrors!
Surely a mistake? What to do? wailed Mumof to her followers
The response was swift! “she doesn’t love you, she only wants you for your dollars!”

So Mumof was swift to tell the cheeky bride
No more shall I have to do with you or your carriage!
Instead, I shall use my pennies for fun, you horrid old snide
MrMumof and me will be on a river voyage on the day of your marriage!

I am so glad you've made a stand OP. She is/was no friend treating you in such a disgraceful manner.
You enjoy your time away with your husband, treat yourself to something nice with the £600. After all your I'll health and stresses, you deserve to pamper yourself.
I wish you all the very best x

Did the bride reply to OP’s last text? Not got my glasses on can’t read every post.

@Vinipote

Good decision OP. Enjoy your holiday

@KavvLar 🐉

I think you need some fucking manners @FamilyOfAliens.

Oh the irony!