UPDATE Dragon Pulled Golden Carriage available for booking in August

[Mumofyoungteenagers]

For all of you who read my not being invited to the day AIBU were wondering the outcome of my either, brilliant/rubbish/begging text or wether I was stupid to offer/ a good friend/ or only doing it to buy an invite here’s the update.

REPLY TEXT “Hi mumof...... yes I thought you might be disappointed in not receiving a day invite, and I know you would have loved to see me arrive at the ceremony, but I’m sure you’ll understand that as a bride I have to make some decisions that might be hurtful to others. But you’ll also understand that there is no malice intended, I’ll make sure you get to see all the photos so you’ll still get to see it.

I’m sorry I wasn’t able to tell you face to face, but you’ve been so poorly and I didn’t think you’d want to be disturbed by me calling round.

I’ll pop round for a coffee and a chat when you’re better, maybe you can help me choose gifts for the BM’s?

Hugs (bride)

MY REPLY..... Dear Bride, I think you may be disappointed to read this text, but I’m sure you’ll understand that as a ex friend I have to make decisions that might be hurtful to others. Obviously you’ll also understand that there is no malice intended, but I will not be making any more payments towards the dragon pulled golden carriage for your wedding,

I’m afraid also won’t be able to attend your weddings evening do as I’ll be on holiday with (hubs) but I’ll make sure you get to see all the photos so you’ll get to see where I went.

I’m sorry I’m not able to tell you face to face, but I don’t want make myself even more poorly by calling round.

Mumof........

I guess that’s the friendship over. Been crying a bit (a lot) hence the delay in replying. But it was a genuine offer at the time, I guess I shouldn’t have made it, but she was so sad at not having the dragon that I thought what better gift than this, she’s got enough toasters. I suppose gifts shouldn’t come with strings but I really was looking forward to being at the wedding I would have wanted to be there gift or no, but the tone of the reply was so dismissive I couldn’t bear to go or pay. And I tried not to be nasty but I feel so hurt. Hubs though is defo taking me away, illness allowing. (Silver lining)

Now of course I’ll be worried about how awful her day will be, no bride should have her day ruined etc etc. The drugs I’m currently being blitzed on do make me more melancholic and anxious but I’m a worrier anyway.

I hope I made the right decision.....

Well done OP, I'd been willing to give her the benefit of the doubt on the previous thread (misunderstanding/ under stress/ whatever) but her reply told you all you need to know and you've done the right thing.

Someone who has the front to take £600 and then consciously not invite you has something wrong in their way of thinking.

Hope you enjoy the cruise when the time comes.

Well said Iborgia

Brilliant response!

Well done OP

I’m not surprised you are so sad but you have done the right thing.
Maybe block so no more upsetting texts come through.

OMG what a horrible thing to do! But your response was absolutely priceless! Well done

Enjoy that lovely holiday.

You’ve handled this with aplomb OP and I wish you well in your recovery.

I hope the river cruise (but is the boat going to be pulled by dragons tho) is brilliant and make sure you jam her news feed with all the photos after.

Ps: the collapse of a friendship is hard. Treat yourself like you would someone else in your position - kindly x

If I ever fall out with a friend I want you to draft the goodbye text for me, OP, that was BRILLIANT.

Well done Op. it's hard. I'm going through an issue at the min with someone I thought was my best friend but I haven't had the guts to call them out on it. You are an inspiration x

God, there's some sneery troll hunting on here.

Either report the thread or ignore it, but the snide little digs are just nasty.

Well done op! You feel bad because you are a nice person. She doesn't deserve your friendship. You sound lovely.

Brilliant response OP and hub! Turning her text back on her means she has zero recourse to be offended as all it would do is show how offensive she was being!

The couple clearly don't regard OP as close enough to attend the day, yet were happy to accept such an extravagant gift with no qualms - screw them. I'd definately either try to get deposit back if at all possible or failing that donate to another brides wedding. In fact just tell them that's fine cancel it and keep the deposit - just make sure if CFs come a'calling they're to pay full whack!

What I can't get over is the bride not even properly apologising nor offering a reason why the OP was invited just to the evening. She only apologises for not being able to tell OP face to face (most likely she didn't want to). Surely a standard response would be "I'm sorry, we had to cut numbers due to costs suddenly shooting up" or similar. Not "I'm a bride, I have to make decisions. You can see the photos of the £600 transport you're buying, that should be good enough. Oh, and help me pick bridesmaid presents."

So OP still doesn't know why she's not invited and the bride isn't even sorry about it. She clearly wasn't much of a friend, OP, you're better off without her in your life from the sounds of it.

Considering the nature and seriousness of your illness I cannot believe that the bride had the bare faced cheek to do this. She is an absolute bitch and I think your response was perfect. Definitely try and get the deposit back. And don't spare her another thought!!

Enjoy your holiday

Fabulous reply and good decision have a great time on your holiday.

That reply (the bride’s) had no apology nor explanation as to why you’re not invited, and no effusive gratitude for your amazing gift.
She doesn’t value you at all.

Enjoy your holiday and get well soon. You’ve done the right thing.

She sounds like a horrible person and you are going to be much much better off without friends like that in your life. Enjoy your truer nicer friendships and hope you get to enjoy your holiday!

I would have written the same reply, not sent it, and instead sent the very dignified two sentences posted upthread regrettably declining the invite and stating you would not be paying for the transport.

It may have felt very satisfying to have responded in kind, but you lose the moral high ground when you stoop to someone’s level like that.

Don't let the meds angst you into a corner OP. You haven't been a bad person, you've been a person refusing to be taken advantage of and walked over.
If you were a bad person you would ride the dragon carriage past the wedding and wave at the bride cheerily as you go past.
As it is, enjoy your holiday with those that love you. I hope you have a lovely time.

Great response!

Is there any reason you can't go away later and keep the booking for the dragon pulled golden coach, using it to ride past the wedding venue multiple times on the day?

Well done OP. You don’t need CFers like that in your life. Your DH sounds a bit of a star too.

Not calling troll.
Just saying that there was no need for an attention seeking second thread.

Didn't see the first thread.

Bride's response is odd. She should have declined the offer and apologise she couldn't afford to have you in the day.

Note: day and night invitations are stupid, the work of the devil and can only generate resentment among those who don't quite make the cut.

Your reply:
I'd just have said that she was mad if she thought the highlight of my life was to watch her enter church or anything.

I just love “as a bride” I can’t get over it

Mumofyoungteenagers
You need to block everyone and come off Social Media. Your DH needs to shield you from any backlash.

Because if this is real, the fallout will make you ill.