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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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UPDATE Dragon Pulled Golden Carriage available for booking in August

278 replies

Mumofyoungteenagers · 11/03/2020 22:40

For all of you who read my not being invited to the day AIBU were wondering the outcome of my either, brilliant/rubbish/begging text or wether I was stupid to offer/ a good friend/ or only doing it to buy an invite here’s the update.

REPLY TEXT “Hi mumof...... yes I thought you might be disappointed in not receiving a day invite, and I know you would have loved to see me arrive at the ceremony, but I’m sure you’ll understand that as a bride I have to make some decisions that might be hurtful to others. But you’ll also understand that there is no malice intended, I’ll make sure you get to see all the photos so you’ll still get to see it.

I’m sorry I wasn’t able to tell you face to face, but you’ve been so poorly and I didn’t think you’d want to be disturbed by me calling round.

I’ll pop round for a coffee and a chat when you’re better, maybe you can help me choose gifts for the BM’s?

Hugs (bride)

MY REPLY..... Dear Bride, I think you may be disappointed to read this text, but I’m sure you’ll understand that as a ex friend I have to make decisions that might be hurtful to others. Obviously you’ll also understand that there is no malice intended, but I will not be making any more payments towards the dragon pulled golden carriage for your wedding,

I’m afraid also won’t be able to attend your weddings evening do as I’ll be on holiday with (hubs) but I’ll make sure you get to see all the photos so you’ll get to see where I went.

I’m sorry I’m not able to tell you face to face, but I don’t want make myself even more poorly by calling round.

Mumof........

I guess that’s the friendship over. Been crying a bit (a lot) hence the delay in replying. But it was a genuine offer at the time, I guess I shouldn’t have made it, but she was so sad at not having the dragon that I thought what better gift than this, she’s got enough toasters. I suppose gifts shouldn’t come with strings but I really was looking forward to being at the wedding I would have wanted to be there gift or no, but the tone of the reply was so dismissive I couldn’t bear to go or pay. And I tried not to be nasty but I feel so hurt. Hubs though is defo taking me away, illness allowing. (Silver lining)

Now of course I’ll be worried about how awful her day will be, no bride should have her day ruined etc etc. The drugs I’m currently being blitzed on do make me more melancholic and anxious but I’m a worrier anyway.

I hope I made the right decision.....

OP posts:
PissesWhencoughs · 11/03/2020 22:53

Link to previous thread please? She sounds awful!

Mycatismadeofstringcheese · 11/03/2020 22:53

I can’t believe she also expected you to help pick out bridesmaids gifts!

WonderWoman36 · 11/03/2020 22:53

Oh OP I cheered when I read your reply, good for you for sending that!!! I'm so glad you stood your ground and didn't pay. You deserve to be treated so much better than that by a so called friend!!

That's a lot to pay for a present when she doesn't think enough of you to have you there for the actual wedding!! Go and enjoy your holiday with your lovely husband and spend your money on treating yourselves!!

Stompythedinosaur · 11/03/2020 22:54

Very good response. Hope you'll be able to recoup your money.

GinandGingerBeer · 11/03/2020 22:54

Sorry to be the one to break it to you @PondLover but dragons aren't real. I know I know, sorry. Dont shoot the messenger or breath fire at them ......

Fralla · 11/03/2020 22:55

Genius reply, well done x

EmmiJay · 11/03/2020 22:55

Wtf I missed the juicy parts of the first thread! But NICE response to her little diggy cuntish message. Ugh. I hope her heel snaps off as she walks down the aisle shakes fist

Imok · 11/03/2020 22:55

Oh, OP, I'm so sorry that she's turned out to have intended to only invite you to the evening after accepting your very generous offer.
Your reply was perfect and I hope she's reflecting on her appallingly treatment of you. I also hope you and your Dh have a wonderful holiday and that you use the £600 to help make it even more special. Flowers

sawyersfishbiscuits · 11/03/2020 22:56

Yes!!! Well done OP! What an awful woman the bride is. No doubt you'll get a 'concerned' text from CB to add to the drama. You absolutely did the right thing.

1Morewineplease · 11/03/2020 22:56

👏👏👏👏👏
Brilliant response.
Enjoy your holiday and have absolutely no regrets over your grabby ex friend.
💐

loveredskyatnight · 11/03/2020 22:57

Amazing response OP, you are well rid. Respect 👍

PondLover · 11/03/2020 22:57

I was vaguely imagining a large, well-groomed Clydesdale wearing some kind of dragon costume, @GinandGingerBeer. But the fire-breathing part was difficult to figure out...

Shiraznowplease · 11/03/2020 22:57

Enjoy you break and what an awful reply she sent but at least you got to see her true colours. Take care of yourself x x

PepsiLola · 11/03/2020 22:58

Well done OP, the tears you've shed tonight will be far less than those you would have post wedding when you realised how much she was using you.

She doesn't deserve your friendship

HuckfromScandal · 11/03/2020 22:58

You are a fucking superstar!!!
Well done
And I hope you and your husband have a lovely time away xx

Mumofyoungteenagers · 11/03/2020 22:58

I can’t take all the credit for the reply Hubs helped. But thank you, reading your replies really make me feel less like the demon bitch from hell. Xxx

OP posts:
Starlight456 · 11/03/2020 22:59

Poor dragons nothing todo in August. Enjoy your holiday

Enough4me · 11/03/2020 23:00

What a spoilt brat she is...I imagine Miss Piggy from the muppets saying "as a bride you must appreciate that the world circles around me, I am now a supreme being and have to let people down and if you are lucky I will let you see me spend money on gifts for people who are VIP unlike you".

I am so glad you told her to jog on!

RedDiamond · 11/03/2020 23:00

Some friends of my Step-Mother (very close to her) offered to make my wedding cake. I sent them a full day invitation. The cake was fantastic. And I knew that the wife was into Wedgewood so I bought her a small present to say thank you. I would NOT have had the gall to be anything other than grateful and definitely would not have sent anything less than a full day invitation.

Kab30 · 11/03/2020 23:01

Hope you get all your money back xx

saraclara · 11/03/2020 23:02

Well done, OP!

I know it must be really awful to realise that this friendship is at an end, and that it turns out it wasn't the relationship that you thought it was.
But you won the internet today! You have your dignity intact, and £600 to spend on yourself. Have a fantastic holiday with your husband, and please don't look back.

Daisiest · 11/03/2020 23:02

Glad it's sorted.

FrivolousPancake · 11/03/2020 23:04

This reply has been deleted

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BuzzShitbagBobbly · 11/03/2020 23:04

Well done. Bride got what she deserved.