Smoking with newborn in car

[alwaystiredzz]

Parked in parent and child space at supermarket this morning and a woman was pulling up behind me and I thought 'well she can't be parking in the parent and child spaces' because I could see her smoking a cigarette. (Illegal with kids in the car, right).

She gets out and proceeds to take a tiny baby out of the back seat. I shoot her a horrified look. She doesn't notice. I then get into the supermarket and convince myself I didn't see her smoking, then she pulls her trolly right up next to mine and the smell of fresh cigarettes is undeniable.

I feel absolutely raging and disgusted at this point and quickly call my mum to ask whether I should confront her and tell her it's illegal to smoke with a child in the car, let alone list off how damaging it is for the baby. Mum reminds me I don't know her and if she would force her child to inhale second hand smoke she's not likely to be a reasonable person who would stand there and take an ear bashing from a stranger.

So, I know I am not unreasonable in being outraged that she was forcing her little baby to inhale the smoke (with all windows up), it's illegal, it causes health issues and contributes to SIDS.

However I want opinions on whether I would be unreasonable to report her (I took her car reg) If so where do I report her? Or do I just accept that it's a fact of life that some parents don't give a shit about the well-being of their children and forget about it?

Accept some parents don't give a shit. She probably smoked through her pregnancy too.

Well you could report her but it's extremely unlikely anything will get done. From the legal aspect it's your word against hers and from the safeguarding aspect, child services are stretched thin and not likely to intervene for one cigarette in a car.

I do share your disgust though.

I think you’re a bit over invested in what other people do - why would you care where she parks or whether she’s smoking (which you seem to have had a view on before you knew there was a baby in the car). Raging and disgusted? I save that level of emotion for people who’s behaviour impacts me. You could report her to the police but I suspect you’d be wasting your time.

It is a fact of life some parents can’t care for their children the way you think they should - all our parenting styles have something someone would criticise given time and opportunity mine and yours included. Smoking around kids isn’t a choice I would make but I’m not going to be raging with someone who has.

What do you want to happen if you report her? I've no doubt she's had every lecture going from HCPs but carries on so nothing is likely to change until she's ready to change.

It's illegal but unless you got a photo not much you can do. She's just a shit parent.

You called your mum to ask whether to confront a stranger

Come on, logically the kind of person who does this isn't going to be grateful for your input.

Some people break laws and do t give any fucks. Move on with your day.

Unbelievable!!

The police don't have the capacity to deal with burglaries etc at the moment, do you really think they will do anything just on your word? Pretty much like using mobiles behind the wheel, nope. I find both abhorrent by the way so not minimising them, but I wouldn't waste your time. Not everyone is perfect though, she either knows smoking around babies is bad, or she was brought up by someone who did the same; not excusing it, but there really is a whole other world out there.

Your mum was right.

It’s disgusting, but if she’s the kind of person to smoke with a newborn in her car, she’s not likely going to be the kind of person who appreciates a stranger calling her out on it.

I'd have struggled not to say anything, absolute scum these selfish people forcing their filthy habit onto others.

Are you a new mother? You’re very invested.

It’s shit, but there’s not a lot you can do. She probably smoked while pregnant. Just accept some people are hideous and leave it.

Running to mummy telling tales. I think you need to grow up Op!

It's a £50 fine for smoking with under 18s in a car but I doubt she'd ever get caught to get fined. Its understandable how you felt but there's very little you can do.
That poor baby, just walking behind a smoker makes my eyes sting!

ignoring the playground mentality on here - 'telling tales' FFS...

yes it is illegal and yes it is a hazard for the baby. But she doesn't care and you'll never force that. Police overstretched so nothing will get done. I hope it was at least in a car seat so it won't end up dead or a vegetable due to being hurled through the windscreen.

Report the stupid bitch. Even if nothing comes of it, at least she’ll know even strangers are questioning her disgusting behaviour.

I think until people start standing up for the rights of those who can't stand up for themselves, this level of selfishness will just continue.
If that woman had people telling her every time she was smoking with her child in the car, the chances are eventually she would stop doing it. But because people are told it's not your business don't interfere no one stands up for the venerable, and these dicks continue putting lives at risk.
I don't care if she gave me a mouthful, I would absolutely tell her, and anyone else who was smoking in a car with a baby or child.

I would report her. They might not do anything but even if she is contacted the shock of it might make her reconsider next time.

She probably smoked throughout the pregnancy and just doesn’t give a shit, some people are selfish cunts.

I once saw parents leaving the hospital with their newborn baby, placing the newborn down in the smoking shelter and both lighting up a fag. It’s utterly grim.

I would report her.
Normally I think : ‘thou shalt not judge other’s parenting’ but in this case, you’re totally right.

Who are people suggesting OP reports this woman to?

Like a previous poster has said, ignoring it because it's none of our business isn't helping the defenceless baby. If a few people were to say something to her about it, she's more likely to not do it again.

There is little point in reporting as the likelihood of any follow up is so very low, and unfortunately the chances having a civilised, enlightened discussion about it with anyone being thick enough to smoke in an enclosed car with a new born is even lower. The chances of recieving a torrent of verbal abuse in return is significantly higher.

It's crap. The dangers of smoking have been well publicised for decades, so where that's failed with anyone young enough to have a young baby, you're not going to stand much chance of persauding them what a terrible idea it is.

Would you report on the basis of neglect? If so, I guess you'd contact social services but not sure there's much they would do and I can't imagine they'd follow up just based on a reg plate.

Some parents are shitty people. You can't change the world, sadly.

I’d have left a note in her car but too late now .
She probably won’t give a shit anyway .
Poor kid