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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Smoking with newborn in car

164 replies

alwaystiredzz · 10/03/2020 09:40

Parked in parent and child space at supermarket this morning and a woman was pulling up behind me and I thought 'well she can't be parking in the parent and child spaces' because I could see her smoking a cigarette. (Illegal with kids in the car, right).

She gets out and proceeds to take a tiny baby out of the back seat. I shoot her a horrified look. She doesn't notice. I then get into the supermarket and convince myself I didn't see her smoking, then she pulls her trolly right up next to mine and the smell of fresh cigarettes is undeniable.

I feel absolutely raging and disgusted at this point and quickly call my mum to ask whether I should confront her and tell her it's illegal to smoke with a child in the car, let alone list off how damaging it is for the baby. Mum reminds me I don't know her and if she would force her child to inhale second hand smoke she's not likely to be a reasonable person who would stand there and take an ear bashing from a stranger.

So, I know I am not unreasonable in being outraged that she was forcing her little baby to inhale the smoke (with all windows up), it's illegal, it causes health issues and contributes to SIDS.

However I want opinions on whether I would be unreasonable to report her (I took her car reg) If so where do I report her? Or do I just accept that it's a fact of life that some parents don't give a shit about the well-being of their children and forget about it?

OP posts:
PapayaCoconut · 11/03/2020 15:40

because people are told it's not your business don't interfere no one stands up for the venerable, and these dicks continue putting lives at risk.

Completely agree. We've lost the village.

bloodywhitecat · 11/03/2020 16:08

And what happens if she's reported but refuses to give up smoking around her child? Should the child be removed from her care?

Mittens030869 · 11/03/2020 16:12

I'm sure the same excuses could be given for the actions of most of the prison population as well, whatever happened to taking responsibility for our actions? We all have choices.

You can have empathy for what someone has been through, but it doesn't let them off the hook for the mistakes they make. Especially when young children are adversely affected by those mistakes.

PanicAndRun · 11/03/2020 16:41

Should the child be removed from her care?

Probably. You will find a lot of people here think smokers should not have children period.

salsmum · 11/03/2020 17:10

Where does it stop though??? Do we flag down parents with kids going over the speed limit? Or parents who push their buggies forward when crossing the road so that cars stop? Parents who allow their kids to swim in the sea amongst all the pollution? I'm sure if the parent is that inconsiderate your dirty look will not make a jot if difference.

MirandaGoshawk · 11/03/2020 17:21

OP, I think.you should report it. Even if nothing comes from.it, you csn.have peace of mind and hopefully put this behind you. I also don't think it's crazy to ring your mum for advice. And shove a bit of paper and a pen into your glove compartment Wink

salsmum · 11/03/2020 17:23

Sorry I forgot to mention parents on mobile phones when driving with kids in car ( I've seen some crazy and dangerous parent driving come school pick up times) I'm sure if I tooted or have the 'look' they'd not even hear/see or even bother about my disapproval. 🤬

Mittens030869 · 11/03/2020 18:30

Should the child be removed from her care?

Probably. You will find a lot of people here think smokers should not have children period.

This isn't a judgement on smokers in general, though. This is about the mum smoking inside the car with her baby. All the mum needed to do was park and have a fag outside the car before doing her shopping.

lmcneil003 · 11/03/2020 18:48

*Should the child be removed from her care?

Probably. You will find a lot of people here think smokers should not have children period.*

That should apply for the obese as well? It must do..Anyone size 18 and over should have their children removed. Obese parents are a much bigger risk to thier childrens health than smoking in cars.

Mittens030869 · 11/03/2020 20:04

That should apply for the obese as well? It must do..Anyone size 18 and over should have their children removed. Obese parents are a much bigger risk to thier childrens health than smoking in cars.

Not true at all. I've had problems with my weight all through my life and I'm a yo-yo dieter, but my DDs are not overweight at all, DD1 is if anything too slim. They're both really good at gymnastics, especially DD2, and very active.

lmcneil003 · 11/03/2020 20:22

Wait until they get older. It's usual for obese adults to have obese offspring. Thats what the data shows.
NHS data <a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=digital.nhs.uk/news-and-events/latest-news/health-survey-reveals-association-between-parent-and-child-obesity&ved=2ahUKEwiDzJXDn5PoAhXUoFwKHQGcAjQQFjABegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw3Zi5VQWr56qeD7bgLRBDm1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=digital.nhs.uk/news-and-events/latest-news/health-survey-reveals-association-between-parent-and-child-obesity&ved=2ahUKEwiDzJXDn5PoAhXUoFwKHQGcAjQQFjABegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw3Zi5VQWr56qeD7bgLRBDm1

Mittens030869 · 11/03/2020 20:36

No that isn't the case. They're both in very good shape, they're very god gymnasts; if anything DD1 is too slim. DD2 has a different body shape, and I am keeping an eye on her weight, while being careful not to make her aware of it.

My DM was too keen to tell me I was overweight and it didn't have the desired effect at all.

So less of the judgement if you don't mind. I do have concerns about DD1 developing an eating disorder as she has issues with food as it is. (She really doesn't have an ounce of fat on her.

Mittens030869 · 11/03/2020 20:38

Hmm, I meant 'good' not 'god'.

Mittens030869 · 11/03/2020 20:39

They are adopted, actually, so they're not my 'offspring' anyway.

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