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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the orthodontist is rude

352 replies

Itsmum2000 · 09/03/2020 12:44

Hi,

DS (18) has overbite and has been receiving orthodontic treatment for it since July 2018.

His orthodontist has always come across as very sarcastic and unprofessional.

A few months after the start of the treatment she recommended he get one of his upper side teeth removed to allow space for the bite to reduce, she didn’t provide DS with enough info about this at the time so he refused and then she made sarcastic comments like “oh you’re a man with a plan” “why come here anymore if you won’t get this simple procedure done”

Eventually, he did get it done and then she started to be reasonable again. (Ok I do get why she may be annoyed that he refused to get his tooth extracted, but she didn’t provide him with enough facts and she didn’t need to be blunt about it)

Anyway, he was in again today and he had broken his braces as he was removing plaque a couple of days ago with a dental hook and the wire came off and he tried to put it back in again and it wouldn’t go in.

I told him to tell the orthodontist that he was eating corn on the cob and it came off due to that, which he did and she didn’t believe it.

She didn’t directly say that, she just said “oh well that’s the most dangerous corn on the cob I’ve come across, “I think it’s had a little assistance”

So obviously she knew he was lying but DS thinks that was rude? AWBU?

He also asked her if the braces could come off soon and she apparently bluntly said no and her tone kind of made it sound like it was unreasonable that he was even asking for the braces to come off.

P.s I’m asking this on DS’ behalf

OP posts:
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 11/03/2020 07:49

You realise you'll have to explain that you told your son to lie right??? And that your son lied to her?

No you don't OP. What bullshit.

crispysausagerolls · 11/03/2020 07:50

A few months after the start of the treatment she recommended he get one of his upper side teeth removed to allow space for the bite to reduce

Sounds like a perfectly reasonable explanation. I’ve had braces/teeth removed and that’s pretty much the gist of it. “We need to remove 2 teeth to make space in the mouth”. “Ok - crack on professional lady”.

user1469190646 · 11/03/2020 07:51

Your son is an adult. Why are you asking mumsnet for him

When I was 14 I was told I had to have 2 extractions for this purpose and I did it.

He lied to her and is eating food that he shouldn't with braces

I'd be sick of him too.

If you dont like the ortho leave.

What are you going to get out of validation on here that she is rude.

Hyrana · 11/03/2020 07:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hyrana · 11/03/2020 07:59

Actually, I wish I had not posted my little snark at another poster. It was not big nor clever and I don't like that I did it. I will report myself and hopefully normal service will be resumed.

user1469190646 · 11/03/2020 08:01

Do that hyrana

It was an honest mistake. The op is so verbose at her dislike.

He lied that's even worse.

Why the hell are people so obsessed with whether someone has been rude to them when they're being a pain in the ass

Greggers2017 · 11/03/2020 08:07

Your son is wasting her time and so are you? Do you have any idea how long people wait to get braces? People who would appreciate that they are getting them done for free?
The tooth extraction, it is a known fact that teeth may have to be removed for as brace. Your son is 18 and he has access to the internet. He can do the research himself.
Also why remove the braces before the treatment is finished? What was the point of having them then? Why couldn't he let somebody else have them who appreciates the work.
The dentist isn't rude you and your son re for lying.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 11/03/2020 08:47

The dentist is rude and she was getting her sarky comments in before the OPs ds broke his brace. No wonder he doesn't like her. Did he ask for them to be removed, or did he asked if they would be removed soon. Ime orthodontists are notoriously blasé about letting their patients know when treatment will be finished. Patients are allowed to ask questions.

Original poster
Itsmum2000 · 11/03/2020 08:52

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion exactly! Yes he only asked her when she thinks he could have them of, not if he could have them removed now.

And you’re right, he has a right to ask the question. Her response could have been nicer. She made him sound unreasonable even asking

OP posts:
20viona · 11/03/2020 08:52

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion they are blasé because there isn't a set end date to orthodontics! It depends on so many factors not when one massively misaligned tooth appears to be 'perfectly straight' to the untrained eye of the patient or parents there can still be months or years to correct the bite! This all costing the NHS thousands per patient it's imperative each patient makes the most of their treatment and it gets finished to the best standard. Orthodontists also get their cases scored from start to finish and if the braces are removed early questions get asked from NHS England. It's not black and white.

Original poster
Itsmum2000 · 11/03/2020 08:57

@20viona that may be so. But a patient is quite entitled to ask without having a frosty response.

I’ve had many patients ask me when their treatment will stop, even though I’ve known it won’t be for a while or if I just don’t know I explain that to them nicely and that It would be impossible for me to say.

So, DS’ orthodontist should have explained it to him nicely that she doesn’t know just yet

OP posts:
crispysausagerolls · 11/03/2020 08:57

What @20viona said!

I don’t understand how you can have taken against this woman you have never bloody met, based off the interpretation of a teenage boy.

I also disagree with people saying you should be able to change orthodontist. No. If she is doing the job properly and isn’t being actually rude (I personally don’t see that she is from your examples - perhaps she has an odd manner or strange sense of humour?), why should you get to pick and choose? Of course it’s not the same privilege as paying for treatment and therefore getting to decide on a whim If the practitioner is nice enough for your standards.

crispysausagerolls · 11/03/2020 08:58

But a patient is quite entitled to ask without having a frosty response

Were you there to witness this “frosty response”?

Original poster
Itsmum2000 · 11/03/2020 09:01

@crispysausagerolls I wouldn’t have made my thread if I thought Ds was lying.

And she is rude, making comments like that is rude. Why can’t she just be nice and everybody would be happy.

May I add that I’ve just read google reviews for this practice and many of the reviewers have described how cold the orthodontists are! So it’s not just DS

OP posts:
HermanHermit · 11/03/2020 09:06

If you haven’t been to any of the appointments since he was 16, how on earth do you have any clue as to whether a complaint is justified or what to complain about? You’ve got the word of a moody teen who is embarrassed at being busted lying

DownToTheSeaAgain · 11/03/2020 09:09

In 240 messages you haven't budged from your assertion that you thought she was rude. So what. You told him to lie. Your 'crime' was much worse and not justified by her attitude.

Original poster
Itsmum2000 · 11/03/2020 09:10

We are all so lucky to have the NHS, I couldn’t imagine living in a foreign country and having to pay for all my medical treatment.

Obviously DS does not to build up more resilience to difficult situations, but he is only 18, that’s something that come with life experience over the years.

I DIDN’T tell him to lie, he came to me and said he was anxious of telling her the real reason as to how the brace broke, so I only suggested what he tell her if it makes him uncomfortable, I didn’t actually tell him to.

Obviously if the orthodontist thought he was lying then she should have just asked him nicely what really caused the brace to break instead of making silly childish comments. I do get that it may be her trying to have a joke, but due to her attitude in the past, DS seen it as a dig at him

OP posts:
Original poster
Itsmum2000 · 11/03/2020 09:11

@DownToTheSeaAgain and? He told a small lie to the orthodontist. So what?

He was in getting them tightened anyway so what did it matter?

OP posts:
NorthEndGal · 11/03/2020 09:14

Do you feel your DS has any responsibility for what occurred ?

TheStuffedPenguin · 11/03/2020 09:16

We are all so lucky to have the NHS, I couldn’t imagine living in a foreign country and having to pay for all my medical treatment

Yeah well think on that while you are moaning about a very expensive service that you are being given.

Here's a thought - PAY for your own treatment at the orthodontist of your choice !

crispysausagerolls · 11/03/2020 09:16

i wouldn’t have made my thread if I thought Ds was lying

Did I say lying? No. He is a teenager. He could easily misinterpret/misconstrue/be sensitive etc or just not like her very much. Maybe he doesn’t get her humour.

“Cold”
Is not rude necessarily. You sound very aggressive and rude and I would wonder if your son is the same and you rub people up the wrong way anyway. Lying to a medical professional about something is a stupid thing to do, and will piss them
Off, but you are completely belittling that as it suits you.

Original poster
Itsmum2000 · 11/03/2020 09:17

@NorthEndGal he should have been honest, yes, but we can’t ignore the reason as to why he felt he couldn’t be open with her. Because of her attitude.

I’d be horrified as a nurse if I had an attitude with one of my patients and they felt they couldn’t be honest with me to avoid an uncomfortable situation

OP posts:
Original poster
Itsmum2000 · 11/03/2020 09:20

@TheStuffedPenguin just because it’s free on the NHS doesn’t mean the provider has an automatic right to treat their patients whatever way they want.

She has been rude since day 1. DS told me this after her first appointment that she wasn’t very friendly. So I’m sorry but it’s not him being over sensitive, it’s clearly her

OP posts:
KidLorneRoll · 11/03/2020 09:23

Orthodontist was rude.

DS lied for no reason.

Sounds like they are both in the wrong, so either suck it up or change practices.

apples24 · 11/03/2020 10:08

Another one of these threads where OP just wants everyone to agree with her and won't entertain anything else. Why post if you're so adamant that your opinion will not change?

OP does not come across well at all in these threads and if her son is anything like her then he must be a very difficult patient.