To think the orthodontist is rude

[Itsmum2000]

Hi,

DS (18) has overbite and has been receiving orthodontic treatment for it since July 2018.

His orthodontist has always come across as very sarcastic and unprofessional.

A few months after the start of the treatment she recommended he get one of his upper side teeth removed to allow space for the bite to reduce, she didn’t provide DS with enough info about this at the time so he refused and then she made sarcastic comments like “oh you’re a man with a plan” “why come here anymore if you won’t get this simple procedure done”

Eventually, he did get it done and then she started to be reasonable again. (Ok I do get why she may be annoyed that he refused to get his tooth extracted, but she didn’t provide him with enough facts and she didn’t need to be blunt about it)

Anyway, he was in again today and he had broken his braces as he was removing plaque a couple of days ago with a dental hook and the wire came off and he tried to put it back in again and it wouldn’t go in.

I told him to tell the orthodontist that he was eating corn on the cob and it came off due to that, which he did and she didn’t believe it.

She didn’t directly say that, she just said “oh well that’s the most dangerous corn on the cob I’ve come across, “I think it’s had a little assistance”

So obviously she knew he was lying but DS thinks that was rude? AWBU?

He also asked her if the braces could come off soon and she apparently bluntly said no and her tone kind of made it sound like it was unreasonable that he was even asking for the braces to come off.

P.s I’m asking this on DS’ behalf

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion are...are you the son?

@drinkygin are you the orthodontist?

Or perhaps the orthodontist should be able to give information about treatments in a way that makes a young adult (or any other patient) feel comfortable to go through with the treatment, instead of being a sarcastic dick, to someone who may already be a bit nervous about the procedures.

Perhaps they should. Perhaps they did, but they found the patient a little too hard of thinking, and couldn't find yet another way to join the dots closer together, who knows? Perhaps the patient should have asked Mum to come along and see if they could understand what the orthodontist was saying, or advocate for them if they weren't feeling comfortable with the medical practitioner?

And I'm sure being a nurse op has to have a good bedside manner, no matter how shitty her patients are to her, and I would put good money on nurses getting it worse than orthodontists.
OP wouldn't get away with being sarcastic and rude to her patients, no matter how old they are.

Um, I'm sorry but if you're saying that all nurses invariably have a good bedside manner, no matter how shitty the patient, and that they are never rude or sarcastic to their patients - um, well, I'm just going to have to politely disagree with that.

Most nurses are absolutely wonderful, in the face of extreme adversity. But 100%? No. Not based on direct personal experience. And that's understandable, given just how rude, sarcastic, resistant to treatment, and given to bullshitting and lying and expecting to be taken at face value no matter how obvious it is, some people can be!

but they found the patient a little too hard of thinking,

Now we have resorted to calling the ops ds dumb. Nice.

Perhaps they should. Perhaps they did,

Perhaps they didn't. My assumption is based on what the OP has said. Your assumption seems to be based on what you have decided happened.

Um, I'm sorry but if you're saying that all nurses invariably have a good bedside manner, no matter how shitty the patient, and that they are never rude or sarcastic to their patients - um, well, I'm just going to have to politely disagree with that.

Doesn't make it OK though, does it? Just as its not ok for a dentist to get shitty with a teenager because they ask a question, or refuse a procedure because they don't understand it. As I said, it sounds like the orthodontist had an attitude before the ds refused the treatment anyway.

@drinkygin @mbosnz actually i am thankful that I have the support of @Iminaglasscanofemotion who is considering mine and DS’ side of the situation rather than just the orthodontist.

How can you assume that DS is at fault? Yeah and not all nurses are compassionate, and I do make mistakes, but I do make a reasonable effort to be polite to my patients every day even if I don’t feel like it

No, I meant perhaps they did, I'm not saying they are! Who knows? We don't!

None of us know what happened, whether the orthodontist was rude and unprofessional, or whether the patient was unrealistic in his expectations of just how delicately he ought to be treated. Including the OP. Because none of us were there.

We do know that the patient stuffed around with initial treatment, refusing to accept the qualified expert advice given by a health practitioner, not trying to elicit further information to help him decide, before eventually deciding to go with the recommended treatment. We know that he then broke an important piece of equipment by going contrary to the explicit instructions of the qualified expert health practitioner. We know that he then, rather than actually admit what happened, he lied about it, and (apparently) the health practitioner and her 'little' assistant apparently declined to swallow his lie wholesale.

Anyway, going in circles, and chewing over old bones.

As I said OP, I don't know what happened, and who was at fault (quite likely both parties, and most likely both parties feel they were justified in behaving how they did, and that the other party was not justified in behaving how they did, without much likelihood of either party acknowledging their own shortcomings) - but then again, neither, in all reality do you.

And you must surely own that you have a mother's partiality, as do we all!

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion nope but would LOVE to hear her side of the story!

Well I don't get why he lied it happened several times to me and the ortho just fixed it and said it happens.

And @itsmum most under 18s still have to pay for braces that's why she asked

Your DS is 19+yrs now and going to meet a lot of unreasonable people in his time on this earth and needs to grow a thicker skin.

Tell him just to ask her if he's upset her in some way, catch her unawares. It might just shock her into normality. She may be in pain herself or under some other duress. We just never know how difficult some people's lives are, but she needs to know how patients perceive her.
Tell him its all going to be worth it for the wonderful end result....

No, I meant perhaps they did, I'm not saying they are! Who knows? We don't!

Yes you are right, you don't know, yet everyone has pounced and made assumptions about the OPs ds being a, what was it... A rude snotty 18 year old, that's hard of thinking 😂 ffs.

@drinkygin I'm sure it would always be helpful to know the other side of the story on MN. Unfortunately, that's not how it works. Doesn't give people the right to make wild assumptions and insult someone else's child.

How can you assume that DS is at fault?

Because OP, this is MN, and people will make up any old shite in an attempt to validate them tearing strips of a parent and insulting their child.
Didn't you know, we are all shite parents, and our children are all entitled little brats, who should never question authority and are always in the wrong.
This is why I would never post a thread about my children. No point looking for help on MN when it comes to offspring if they are over the age of 5. They are all the devil's spawn, and everyone will make sure you know it 🙄

but maybe it is also a silly thing for an orthodontist to get awkward about if he told her exactly what happened
Well, you'll never know because he didn't tell her exactly what happened and you are excusing his made up bullshit excuse.
He lied and all you can say is that he 'had to' Poor baby had no choice, the cold lady made him lie. FFS!

Clearly you are a "it's everyone elses fault" parent, not uncommon, but the fact that you have never ever met this woman is actually quite comical. Go ahead and complain about someone you've never ever laid eyes on because she's a little 'cold' to your baby. I'm sure she won't bring up your sons shortcomings.

@Wolfiefan I’m from Belfast: there, “slabber” is a dialect term (perhaps also in Scotland) for slagging someone off or having a go at them.

Thanks @Piglet89
My DH is from N Ireland but that’s not one I’ve heard before!

I am from Scotland not that has anything to do with this

You got FREE NHS treatment and have now decided you want to stop that treatment (which will reverse the improvement it has made) because he "just wants them off".

Why waste our money on them in the first place then?!?!
You can't see anything wrong with his teeth because the braces are doing their job. Stop them too soon and the problem will return.

But no, don't bother listening to the professional because she caught your ADULT son out in an obvious lie and challenged him on it.

@BobbyBlueCat DS never said he was stopping treatment. He simply asked the orthodontist when she thought he would most likely be ready for them to come off, not once did he say he was planning on having them removed.

He has said he’d love to have them off, that’s okay, I mean I’m sure they’re not pleasant to have. Doesn’t mean he’s actually having them removed

@its

@Itsmum2000

“Not that this has anything to do with this.”

Right, OP: let me explain for you why I made my post. @Wolfiefan was confused by your use of the term “slabber”: it’s not one that was familiar to her because it’s not used in other parts of the country. My post was explaining what I knew about that term, to clarify your original post for her.

The tone of practically all of your posts, including your most recent one, has been supercilious and touchy. Frankly, I bet your ortho would be pleased to see the back of the pair of you if you’re anything like what you are on here IRL.

I thought you said you were getting the thread closed? Still slabbering, though, I see.