I’m going to have to split up because his phrases irritate me

[LittleBlackCurlyHairs]

Bloke I’ve been seeing for 8 months. He says the weirdest phrases and says the strangest things I can’t get over my annoyance.

One of them is, he’ll yawn and then say “oh! I’m yawning well!”. Wtf does that even mean?? I’ve never heard it said before and he says it almost every day.
Another one is “we need to nip that in the bun” bun??!! I have told him that it’s bud but he carries on saying Bun. I find it annoying.

“Keep sure you do that” “keep sure to set your alarm” etc etc ... keep sure?!

Jellypeano on the pizza

There is other stuff too but relationship aside ... has anyone else heard of these sayings?? (Keep sure, yawning well etc)

“I’m going to have to have a pickle” ... that’s his phrase for going for a wee.

“Centre of attraction”

There are so many of them.

The sex stuff isn’t phrases as such, it’s technical problems which are made worse by the way he responds to them.

This is the sort of thing that the first few times he said it, it would have been mildly amusing, so you smiled or laughed (to be pleasant or polite), but now he thinks you find it totally hilarious so he repeats and repeats thinking you are loving his little quirks, when in reality you are gritting your teeth and eye rolling. Another couple of years and he will be under the patio, he just doesn't know it yet

I wonder what the success rate of a blank blunt "that's not actually funny" is?

If he is thick enough to think he is saying the correct versions of those phrases, rather than saying them for fun, then he can be trained, but why would you?

When you say "technical problems"... 🤔

'Bloody whale shark'! 😂😂

Oh dear. This would annoy me no end too. I listened to a relatively academic podcast about something the other day and had to switch it off when the presenter kept saying 'pacifically' and 'free' (three) and 'fret to' (threat to).

DS has dyslexia and will get phrases wrong like this. He sort of remembers them, but doesn't actually process what they mean or how he is getting them wrong. I am ALWAYS pointing them out and correcting him for this very reason - it does annoy people and makes you sound dim .

Oh come on OP now you're just teasing us. WHAT TECHNICAL PROBLEMS

some people enjoy acting dumb and deliberately mispronouncing words/phrases......it's all very 'chav-essex'.

Dump him.

My ex used to say jesus chris (pronounced chrys) instead of christ it sounds so trivial but i actually wanted to rip his throat out

Is English his first language?! It's almost as if he's mistranslating the phrases. My DH gets the odd word/phrase wrong which irritates me but all those would drive me mad.

"Pacifically" would be a deal-breaker for me.

The rest of it might incite me to murder him.

Hold on...technical sex problems?

Does he try and put it in the wrong hole by mistake, and cover himself with a 'whoopsidoo' or a 'that's the exit not the entrance'? Or better still, calls perfectly normal fanny farts something like 'oopsiguffs' or 'you are muff guffing well !'

Apologies OP. I am bored today.

Absolutely pissing myself reading these . Oh I do love a good ick thread, especially when I should be working.

God help me
willy cuddles
thanking yewwww
dressing gownd

And the catch with a high pitched laugh and skippy walk.

@QueenOfOversharing "I can attest to it very much NOT tickling me. I'm ashamed to admit I shagged him again before Xmas & that is how I remembered 🤢"

I keep thinking of Mrs Bennett in P&P:

Wink at you? Why should I wink at you, child? What a notion! Why should I be winking at my own daughter, pray?

Jeez, OP.

I need to know about the "technical problems". Oh, and you deserve a medal for even getting into bed with this bloke.

If people say "with regards to" I want to kill them. Literally kill them.

Does he look like this?

When you say "technical problems"

'Oops I released the kracken too soon'
'Can't quite get the ship out of the harbour today'
'We'll need VAR on that one'

OP I am imagining you now as dating the dad from Friday Night Dinner. "Lovely bit of squirrel".

@HowDoesTheCow

Little Dave doesn't want to come out to play today.

Squirty squirty, forgive my dirty.

Can we have some whoopsy now?

I want some bitty....

My MIL says her instead of she, as in “her said to me that hers going to the doctor”

Thanks for this thread! Gave me a good laugh

I too must know the technical problems. Does he narrate them? "Oh, I'm shaggeroonying well! Keep sure you do that to the jellypenis, it luffs the muffs – whoopsiewoozle, it's the back door!" and so on?

Finish him.I'll provide an alibi.

BendyLikeBeckham

Hold on...technical sex problems?

Does he try and put it in the wrong hole by mistake, and cover himself with a 'whoopsidoo' or a 'that's the exit not the entrance'?Or better still, calls perfectly normal fanny farts something like 'oopsiguffs' or 'you are muff guffing well !'

Apologies OP. I am bored today

Actual abdominal workout snort-laughing at this😂

OP, please, please meet the parents, as I'm sure that there's more where that comes from. Fnaar, fnaar.
Do it for us.

I shagged someone when I was at University who actually whinnied like a horse as part of foreplay I suppose. He accompanied it with a naked horsey trot. God it was mortifying .
What possessed him? Or me for that matter?