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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect the babysitter to tidy up

401 replies

Idontfeellikeagrownup · 08/03/2020 09:12

To expect the babysitter to tidy up

Backstory is me and DH are downtrodden and exhausted from parenting DD1 and DD2. We have no family locally and have only lived in the area for a year so don't really have many friends locally (interactions with other parents are limited to 'hi' and 'bye' at nursery and school drop offs).

We (me and DH) decided that we would go crazy (we don't get out much) and book a babysitter. We chose someone from DD2 care setting as they know both children (DD1 attends after school club there), are fully qualified in everything childcare related/DBS checked and we like them. We agreed the rate of £8 an hour (seems steep but she's got all the bells and whistles) and picked for the babysitter to watch the children during the afternoon (we can't stay awake past 9pm).

Yesterday was the agreed date and she arrived promptly. We showed her round/gave her instructions and when we left everyone was happy.

Me and DH had a lovely time and arrived home at 7pm ready to put the darlings to bed. We opened the door and well it looked like we had been burgled by an army of toddlers. There was not an inch of floor that wasn't covered in something (toys, craft stuff, books, make-up dressing up clothes - there was even glue sticks), the pots from dinner were left in the sink, two new toys were broken (taken from their box and trodden on) and this morning we have found dirty dishes under the sofa. My words walking into the house where "what on earth has happened here?". The babysitter made no effort to help me tidy (I had to start picking things as soon as I walked in otherwise I would have trodden on it) just got her coat and left.

Am I being unreasonable to expect her to have encouraged and helped the children to tidy up as they went along (she runs the toddler room at nursery so knows toddlers)? They were happy when we arrived home (sat on the sofa eating sweets and watching movies) but also high as kites. I really wasn't expecting to come home and spend two hours tidying up (it was that bad - there was even food crushed into the sofa) and have two very hyper children that took forever to get to sleep. It's made me not want to do it again.

OP posts:
gingersausage · 09/03/2020 10:05

@Lweji of course people are still going on about the cost. They think that the other 350 posts they couldn’t be arsed to read might not have mentioned it yet Wink.

cheeseandpineapple · 09/03/2020 13:13

Are people really saying that if the OP had paid 84p more (overall) she could then have expected the dirty dishes to be put in the sink instead of under the sofa?

Is that what it costs to stop someone behaving like a pig?

For those who might have missed it, I think it’s worth re-quoting Babymamaroon

I personally think the rate she charged you is irrelevant. She's clearly a pig who thinks it's ok for you to come home to a state when you left the house tidy

This still makes me laugh, it’s so well said!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 09/03/2020 13:30

YANBU - she should have helped kids to put toys etc away as they finished with them. Any dirty plates should have been stacked neatly in kitchen.

Cohle · 09/03/2020 13:31

If she paid 84p more she'd still be paying the absolute minimum, so no I wouldn't magically expect 5 star service. She'd have more of a leg to stand on when complaining though...

cheeseandpineapple · 09/03/2020 13:36

Oh come on Cohle I do get the point you’re trying to make but seriously, putting dishes into the sink instead of under the sofa is not 5 star service!!!

urinetroubleagain · 09/03/2020 13:47

I pay £10 per hour and that is not steep by any means. I pay more for premium days such as Christmas etc.
Agree expectations before hand.
I have never had a sitter tidy up, offer to pay more if this is what you want.

Rumtopf · 09/03/2020 13:54

My 17yr old daughter wouldn't have left a place like that when babysitting. This woman should have known better but was just being lazy, or your children ran rings around her.

abstractprojection · 09/03/2020 13:55

When I was a babysitter I would clean up after myself, the kid and if there were a couple of bits in the sink I'd do those as well. This seemed to delight returning parents so I don't think it was expected.

But we would just watch a bit of tv together, and then it was tea, bath and bed. I didn't do crafts or activities with them so very little mess.

Maryann1975 · 09/03/2020 14:00

To me, this wasn’t babysitting, but nannying. Babysitting generally involves little interaction with the dc apart from putting them to bed. Your ‘babysitter’ has entertained, fed and cared for your dc all afternoon. I wonder if she actually has no idea how hard that can be on your own. In nursery she likely has other people who can pick up the slack and tell her what to do or she knows what to do because she does the same every day. It’s far different working in a home, where everything is your responsibility (I’ve been a nursery nurse, a nanny and a childminder- the change from working in a nursery to a nanny was massive and being good with dc is only part of what is required in a home setting).
You either need to find another sitter or have an honest conversation about you expect before she sits again.

spongejack · 09/03/2020 14:28

YANBU!!

Lweji · 09/03/2020 14:31

Surely this person realised that caring for children during the afternoon wouldn't be the same as watching tv on the sofa after they'd gone to bed.
She asked for £8 and that's what she got.

Maybe she should have made sure to tell the OP that her services only included the children being alive at the end of that period.

Sissymate2 · 09/03/2020 16:46

May have already been said, but it sounds like the DCs were running rampant through the house.....I wonder if they could've managed to make such a mess if they'd been left without a babysitter.....maybe she was on her phone the whole time and ignored the toddlers? I'd love to see her flat if she thought it was appropriate to allow such a mess in a client's home. I doubt she'd have been any more tidy if her rate was even double...slobs tend to be slobs no matter how much they are being paid and the same with tidy people. If the toddlers were watching a film, she wasn't hands on babysitting and could have tidied up around them at least.Hmm

NewloveCG · 09/03/2020 17:01

£8 an hour! That’s the rate when I babysat aged 16! £10 an hour is the going rate, and no she should not have cleaned! Did you ask her to? She’s a babysitter not a au pair or cleaner.

AryaStarkWolf · 09/03/2020 17:09

I would hvae expected her to not allow the children to ransack the cupboards and eat sweets at that time of night 100%. I would also expect her to get them to tidy their toys away before pulling everything out

OkPedro · 09/03/2020 19:10

Why are pps mentioning cleaners? Would you expect a cleaner to tidy toys off the floor and wash dishes before they cleaned the house?
This childminder was clearly not watching the ops children. I wouldn’t expect to come home to food mashed into the furniture and every toy they own on the floor Confused

Op didn’t employ this woman to clean the house but expected the house to be as she left it.

Itwasntme1 · 09/03/2020 19:15

People are going in about the price because op though it was steep.

People responded by pointing out an hourly rate below minimum wage should not be considered steep.

Had op not said it was steep, most of the people wouldn’t have reacted to the price.

Dieu · 09/03/2020 19:21

YANBU at all, and she definitely ought to have tidied up (with the kids' help, depending on age). However I am not sure the massive backstory was entirely necessary or relevant Grin

spongejack · 09/03/2020 19:22

@NewloveCG she wasn't expected to clean, the question was should she have tidied up with the children and not let them trash the place?

So you're saying that food gets spilt and she was actually right to not grab a cloth and wipe it up.....

If I was in a pub and I spilt a drink, I'd grab the tissues and wipe it up, would you just leave it? Do you expect the bar person to come over clean up your mess as you're not paid to do that?

Nomel · 09/03/2020 19:44

£8 ph is very cheap (most around here are £12-15ph) I don’t think you’re paying her enough to expect her to clean up as well! Just be glad you’re kids were entertained and stimulated.

mbosnz · 09/03/2020 19:47

When I was babysitting, if I didn't like the rate, I didn't babysit.

If I accepted the rate, I did what was necessary with the children, which could entail cooking their food, feeding them, bathing them, putting them to bed complete with stories, looking after them when they took poorly. Then I did the dishes and tidied the living area, having tidied their bedroom area before bed. Because that was what you did.

Northernwarrior · 09/03/2020 20:46

In our area £5 is the going rate

For your mates teenager daughter to babysit. Minimum wage is £8.72

Northernwarrior · 09/03/2020 20:49

Also when I babysat it was generally after or just before kids went to bed. It was ‘sitting’ watching TV and fridge rules praying they stayed asleep.

You paid less than minimum wage for a nanny service and moaned because they didn’t clean as well.

strawberry2017 · 09/03/2020 21:00

When I used to baby sit many many years ago, I would tidy what I could but it was easier once the kids had gone to bed. If they were still up when parents got home it would be harder to keep things under control x

OchAyeThaNoo · 09/03/2020 21:20

OP going by these answers you are lucky it wasn't a friend doing it for free. At no pay she should have burned your house down eh?!
I think she charged you roughly minimum wage per hour (though tax free) and not per child. That was her choice. I absolutely don't think you should need to tell anyone that not trashing your house is part of the job description. Next time use someone else, leave appropriate snacks and food for them all and ask that they tidy as they go.

Someone up thread said she's a babysitter and not a cleaner. A cleaner is someone who cleans your home from the state you left it, not someone when trashes it and then is made to clean.

MissGuernsey · 09/03/2020 21:47

£8 an hour is cheap?

You are having a laugh?