To expect the babysitter to tidy up

[Idontfeellikeagrownup]

To expect the babysitter to tidy up

Backstory is me and DH are downtrodden and exhausted from parenting DD1 and DD2. We have no family locally and have only lived in the area for a year so don't really have many friends locally (interactions with other parents are limited to 'hi' and 'bye' at nursery and school drop offs).

We (me and DH) decided that we would go crazy (we don't get out much) and book a babysitter. We chose someone from DD2 care setting as they know both children (DD1 attends after school club there), are fully qualified in everything childcare related/DBS checked and we like them. We agreed the rate of £8 an hour (seems steep but she's got all the bells and whistles) and picked for the babysitter to watch the children during the afternoon (we can't stay awake past 9pm).

Yesterday was the agreed date and she arrived promptly. We showed her round/gave her instructions and when we left everyone was happy.

Me and DH had a lovely time and arrived home at 7pm ready to put the darlings to bed. We opened the door and well it looked like we had been burgled by an army of toddlers. There was not an inch of floor that wasn't covered in something (toys, craft stuff, books, make-up dressing up clothes - there was even glue sticks), the pots from dinner were left in the sink, two new toys were broken (taken from their box and trodden on) and this morning we have found dirty dishes under the sofa. My words walking into the house where "what on earth has happened here?". The babysitter made no effort to help me tidy (I had to start picking things as soon as I walked in otherwise I would have trodden on it) just got her coat and left.

Am I being unreasonable to expect her to have encouraged and helped the children to tidy up as they went along (she runs the toddler room at nursery so knows toddlers)? They were happy when we arrived home (sat on the sofa eating sweets and watching movies) but also high as kites. I really wasn't expecting to come home and spend two hours tidying up (it was that bad - there was even food crushed into the sofa) and have two very hyper children that took forever to get to sleep. It's made me not want to do it again.

£8 for a babysitter ? And she’s qualified in childcare ? I charge at least £10 an hour. How is £5 an hour average In your area I think you’ve got that wrong

I think the £5 must be teenagers babysitting sleeping children for neighbours.

How has this become about how much was paid! The babysitter set her rate and was paid that rate.

No, I would not expect a babysitter to let my children leave my house a bombsite. A bit of mess I wouldn't mind. But I would expect the babysitter to be at least a bit engaged with my children and encourage tidying up before moving on to another activity.

As a babysitter if I had made a mess with the children I would expect to either tidy up as I go along or stay and tidy up afterwards.

I wouldn't expect it to be left absolutely perfect in either situation, but no way would I expect it to be a bombsite.

Can everyone stop making a point about the £8!! She said the going rate in HER AREA is £5, so considering that, £8 is good, also it was agreed with the babysitter being happy to
Babysit for £8 an hour so stop making an issue.

Of course op you should not have come back to an awful mess, I would be very annoyed, it should be tidy, maybe speak to the babysitter and just explain you imagined coming back to a somewhat tidy home or Atleast how you left it

At least to have tidied up kids toys etc. I would have expected that. Maybe it needs to be said though. I would wash the pots some kids hard settle though so maybe she couldnt do it time wise

£5 an hour for a babysitter? Is that in the 1990s?

£5 an hour would be low for a teenager watching tv whilst the kids slept.

The babysitter here was a qualified professional who was looking after two very much awake kids all afternoon.

As per PP. I consider babysitting to be sitting watching telly while the little darlings sleep. This sounds more like childminding.

not everywhere lays London rates people

I live several hundred miles from London. I just treat people who work for me fairly and with respect.

As per PP. I consider babysitting to be sitting watching telly while the little darlings sleep. This sounds more like childminding.

I agree.

YANBU. Our babysitter leaves the place tidier than she found it.

Isn’t £8 below minimum wage?! For £8 an hour I think she should NOT have had to clean too.

Of course YANBU. Awful.

I pay a tenner an hour which is more than the local rate. I expect the house to look reasonable and it does.

I used a nanny once and it only lasted two weeks as I had similar. I just terminated the arrangement.

In our area £5 is the going rate.

That is below minimum wage.

As per PP. I consider babysitting to be sitting watching telly while the little darlings sleep. This sounds more like childminding.

Yes. This isn’t my definition of babysitting.

I babysit for people. I used to hold a DBS for work and i do have a child service background. But most people trust me because they see how i was as a parent and grandparent.

If I'm not doing anything, anyway I'm happy to come away with £20. I do overnights for a fixed rate of £20. I'm retired and single.

I leave the place as i find it, as any babysitter should. If I'm able to, because the children are settled, i'll clean the bath/kitchen. But toys tidied away and any dishes used, washed, is standard.

People have different circumstances, so are happy with what they earn. There's more retired people who babysit than teenagers where i live.

Babysitting isn't covered by minimum wage rules, as mobile hairdressing/beauty, or car washing etc. You are self employed, as such.

OP, she shouldn't have allowed what she did. You'd expect structured play from a nursery worker. I'd rather take children out, so I'm wondering if she's been annoyed that you've blocked that. That would be even more out of order.

£8 is relevant as it is very low and below NMW. I couldn't pay that, thats just not right. You could argue a baby sitter is self employed but really you could quite easily argue she is a worker and that makes the arrangement illegal.
Other than that YANBU I wouldn't have been happy with that and never had that issue. If I have a babysitter during the day I may come home to a bit of mess usually craft related but nothing bad. If she stays in the evening I expect most things to be put away when kids are sleeping.
Pay more next time and get someone sensible.

oblada but it isn't illegal and people are happy to work for that, me included. Otherwise I'd feel as though I'm ripping people off. I live in a low, income area, which makes a difference.

It's a job you should only do if you enjoy children, then you feel as though you are getting paid for doing nothing.

I can't believe you only paid her £8ph. You deserve everything you get.

@bert3400

Do you generally pay people more than they ask for?
The babysitter set the rate.

And as she left the place a tip she wasn't likely to be offered any extra!

£8 is not steep considering that’s not even minimum wage for most people. I charge £10 an hour especially when I’m giving up my weekends

You get what you pay for.

Are people still going on about the cost?
That the OP was quoted and accepted?

I suppose babysitters should start having price charts.

Sitting on the sofa making sure the house doesn't burn down and children don't kill themselves- £8
Making sure the children also tidy up after them - £16
Not allowing food on or under sofa - extra £5
...

TBH you deserved all you got OP.

NMW is there for a reason and no matter where you live you shouldn't be paying below that!
It's taking advantage whether you agreed with the babysitter or not and it's not OK.

For less than minimum wage for a qualified childcare professional giving up their free time... no I wouldn't expect anything except for the dc to be happy and safe. Lol at the suggestion it's steep!