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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU? "Dinner will be ready between ... "

165 replies

Moo31 · 07/03/2020 23:10

Me and DS are staying at my parents house while we have some work done to our house. DP is staying at home to oversee the work. Houses are 10 mins apart. I was making curry for dinner tonight at my parents and DP was coming. He asked this afternoon what time was dinner at. I said "between 5 and 5.30pm ... 5.30pm at the latest as my mum needs to leave at 7pm to be somewhere". Dinner was ready at 5.15pm. DP showed up at 5.25pm.

Was I being unreasonable expecting him to be here for 5pm?

OP posts:

DanceItOut · 09/03/2020 19:58

It depends how you word it. If you said it’ll be ready between 5-5.30 so if you get here for 5 and he turned up at 5.25 then yanbu but if you said 5-5.30 be here by 5.30 at the latest then yabu

glennamy · 09/03/2020 21:39

Ha,ha,ha, like a lot of our sex, you expect the Male species to read your mind. If you wanted him there at 5pm you should have stated 5pm!

It's true that some men really cannot win!

YABU

AdoreTheBeach · 09/03/2020 21:55

If you wanted him there for 5pm, you need to say that.

RoseLillian · 09/03/2020 22:52

She said dinner will be ready between 5 and 5.30. Not to arrive then. YANBU. Can’t believe people are saying you are. Dinner could be served at any time between then, so you need to be there for the earlier time. Surely that’s obvious.

Plipplops · 10/03/2020 09:46

YANBU at all? I’d have been pissed off too.

MintyMabel · 10/03/2020 10:14

did you ask if he wanted his dinner spoon feeding as well?

Your husband is absolutely right. And now you are making your failings someone else's problem?

If you want him there at 5, say you want him there at 5. Only an idiot would say 5-5.30 if they wanted someone there at 5.

MintyMabel · 10/03/2020 10:15

you are there for the start of said window?

No. That's not how it works.

MintyMabel · 10/03/2020 10:18

If you know something is going to be happening in a time frame but not sure of exactly when, surely you get there for the earliest time or there is a chance you will miss it??

It's not an important appointment or an investiture, it's dinner.

If someone says be home for dinner between 5 and 5.30, that means dinner will be served when you get here.

FelicisNox · 10/03/2020 11:02

YABVU.

You didn't say you wanted him there for 5pm, you gave him a window and he arrived with 5 mins to spare.

Next time be specific. I know this is a joke but seriously, this sort of thing is why men feel like they can't win with women.

Stop being one of "those" women.

EarlGreyT · 10/03/2020 11:21

Ha,ha,ha, like a lot of our sex, you expect the Male species to read your mind. If you wanted him there at 5pm you should have stated 5pm!

No, she told him the meal would be ready between 5 and 5.30. It’s obvious he therefore needed to be there by 5. To spell this out to him would have been treating him like an idiot as I’m sure he can work out that if the meal may be ready at 5, he needs to arrive before then.

Clearly what everyone on here who is saying the OP is being unreasonable means is that she should treat her husband like an idiot who can’t work out for himself that if a meal is going to be ready between 5 and 5.30 he needs to get there for the start of this window and she should spell this out to him (which would probably mean she’d then be accused of being patronising).

SuburbanFraggle · 10/03/2020 18:55

Poor communication. If the other person hasn't understood what you meant the communication failed.

dialmformarzipan · 11/03/2020 09:39

OP, I asked my husband your question - his reply was 'I'd get there just before 5'. He's not known for listening carefully and thought your statement was perfectly clear. If I said 'be home for dinner at 5', as other posters have suggested you should state it, he would expect the meal at 5 and would be complaining it was late at 5:15.
I also asked my daughter, her reply was the same - she's now annoyed for you and gave the same delivery example as a pp upthread.

Phoenixrising1 · 13/03/2020 17:40

Yabu - if you wanted him to arrive at 5pm you should have been clear and answered 'dinner st 5pm'

Rosebyanothername19 · 13/03/2020 22:22

@mintymabel yes that is how it works!!! Dinner is BEING SERVED somewhere between 5 and half past. Not when her husband arrives, but depending on when it is ready and to fit in with others' plans. I really dont see how this is so hard for some people to grasp...

If you are told there is to be a parade at some point between 5 and half past and you get there at 25 past and find you've missed it would you blame the organiser??

MintyMabel · 13/03/2020 22:56

If you are told there is to be a parade at some point between 5 and half past and you get there at 25 past and find you've missed it would you blame the organiser??

It’s not a parade. It’s dinner. If you want to serve it before 5.30, tell people when it will be served.

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