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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? "Dinner will be ready between ... "

165 replies

Moo31 · 07/03/2020 23:10

Me and DS are staying at my parents house while we have some work done to our house. DP is staying at home to oversee the work. Houses are 10 mins apart. I was making curry for dinner tonight at my parents and DP was coming. He asked this afternoon what time was dinner at. I said "between 5 and 5.30pm ... 5.30pm at the latest as my mum needs to leave at 7pm to be somewhere". Dinner was ready at 5.15pm. DP showed up at 5.25pm.

Was I being unreasonable expecting him to be here for 5pm?

OP posts:
GiveHerHellFromUs · 08/03/2020 07:02

YANBU and I can't believe so many people would potentially be happy to arrive 30 minutes after a meal is cooked that has been prepared for them.

I definitely can't believe that so many people on Mumsnet would be so blasé about it someone turned up late for a meal they had cooked!

You gave a window of the earliest and latest time dinner would be ready. You didn't tell him when to arrive so logic says you arrive before dinners ready.

chatterbugmegastar · 08/03/2020 07:06

I said "between 5 and 5.30pm ... 5.30pm at the latest as my mum needs to leave at 7pm to be somewhere".

And he arrived before the latest time given. How was he wrong?

Sypha · 08/03/2020 07:11

YANBU

How do people not understand this? He didn’t ask what time to come, he asked what time would the food be ready.
So obviously he should arrive for 5 but be aware you might not be finished cooking and there could be a delay before serving up.

If he’d asked when did you want him to come over and you’d said 5-5:30, he’d be fine at 5:25. But that wasn’t what you said.

Obviouspretzel · 08/03/2020 07:14

If you got a text saying "your parcel will be delivered between 10:00 and 11:00 ", you wouldnt come home at 10:55 to sign for it would you?

Maybe not quite the same, but it seems just as obvious.

ThatsWotSheSaid · 08/03/2020 07:19

I think YANBU and it’s an eye opener seeing how many people think it’s fine to arrive after the time it might be ready.
Do those people think you should have waited for him or just eaten and saved a plate?

daisypond · 08/03/2020 07:19

And he arrived before the latest time given. How was he wrong?
He arrived well after the time he was told the meal could be ready, which was 5pm. So he absolutely had to have arrived for 5. After that point the meal would be served.

adaline · 08/03/2020 07:22

If OP wanted him home for 5pm then that's what she should have said.

Don't give someone a window of time and then get pissed off because you think they arrived too late in the window!

captainpantbeard · 08/03/2020 07:25

YANBU you were clear - food would be ready between 5-5.30.

Therefore arrive at 5 and expect to be served at any point from then to 5.30. What’s not to understand!?

GiveHerHellFromUs · 08/03/2020 07:25

@adaline I know you always like to tell the OP they're wrong but she didn't give him a time window to be home. She told him when dinner would be ready.

When the gas man comes to read your meter and says "I'll be there between 10 & 2" you don't come home at half 1.

EarlGreyT · 08/03/2020 07:27

@Obviouspretzel, @Sypha and @GiveHerHellFromUs

Exactly. I thought I’d lost the plot reading the other comments on here.

I said "between 5 and 5.30pm ... 5.30pm at the latest as my mum needs to leave at 7pm to be somewhere".

And he arrived before the latest time given. How was he wrong?

Because the question was what time dinner would be ready, NOT by what time should he be back. Surely if you’re given a time frame in which a meal will be ready you arrive before the earliest time given not before the latest time.

daisypond · 08/03/2020 07:27

Is there a confusion between “arrive by” and “meal ready by”? These do not mean the same. He was told what time the meal could be ready, not the time to arrive. He was meant to work that fact out himself.

Firecracker2019 · 08/03/2020 07:30

I think eating dinner - especially a curry - at 5pm is the most unreasonable part of it all tbh....

chatterbugmegastar · 08/03/2020 07:32

Surely if you’re given a time frame in which a meal will be ready you arrive before the earliest time given not before the latest time.

If I'm giving a dinner party and I say 7 for 7.30, I expect people to arrive by 7.30 and we'll eat by 8.

Obviously the OPs situation is slightly different as her Mum was going out at 7.

But I still see no indication that the food would be served BEFORE 5.30. Therefore no indication that partner should arrived before 5.30

Di11y · 08/03/2020 07:34

I'd have probably text when the rice had 15 mins left so he knew to get ready and come.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 08/03/2020 07:35

@chatterbugmegastar just in case you missed this... He asked this afternoon what time was dinner at. I said "between 5 and 5.30pm ... 5.30pm at the latest

There's your indication

daisypond · 08/03/2020 07:40

But I still see no indication that the food would be served BEFORE 5.30. Therefore no indication that partner should arrived before 5.30
It’s in the OP’s post: “He asked this afternoon what time was dinner at. I said "between 5 and 5.30pm”. Dinner could have been at 5 or any point up till 5:30. He had to be ready to eat at 5, as he was told.

Rumnraisin · 08/03/2020 07:43

Agree with others who have said the time frame wasn’t for when he should turn up, it was for when the meal would be ready.
It’s a bit like being given a time slot for a delivery between 1 - 2pm and staying out until 1.50pm. Then being pissed off that delivery was attempted at 1.15pm!

Marnie76 · 08/03/2020 07:44

Firecracker2019 Sun 08-Mar-20 07:30:34
I think eating dinner - especially a curry - at 5pm is the most unreasonable part of it all tbh....

I agree. The majority of people would still be at work at this time. How do they/you eat that early on other days when you’re staying there? If you sometimes eat separately to your parents then that may have also led to his confusion on actual eating times.

chatterbugmegastar · 08/03/2020 07:45

It's like you are all reading a different OP than I am! Grin

If she wanted him there AT 5, then say so. Why give him 30 minutes grace, if what she actually meant was - 'be here at 5'

Anyway. If it's so important to eat at 5 and he's not there - just put his food on a covered plate and crack on with the meal Hmm

Or LTB SmileWink

Marnie76 · 08/03/2020 07:45

You are also unreasonable as I now want to eat curry 😡😁

HoffiCoffi13 · 08/03/2020 07:49

I couldn’t eat a curry at 5pm!
I do think OP’s DH should have thought ‘if dinner is being served between 5 and 5.30 I probably ought to get there at 5’.
On the other hand, in general curry can be left simmering for a while can’t it? I’d have just served up when he arrived.

1066vegan · 08/03/2020 07:51

YNBU
I agree with most of the later posters. You were letting him know that you were aiming for 5 but it might not be ready until half past.
I think that he should have arrived just before 5 so that he would have had time to say hello to everyone and be ready to sit down at the table if you were dishing up at 5.

User12879923378 · 08/03/2020 07:55

Speaking as a person who really struggles with punctuality, I would understand this to mean that I should be there for 5 as dinner would be ready any time between then and 5.30.

User12879923378 · 08/03/2020 07:56

"Your poor DP. I'm glad I'm not in a relationship with you"

This is a stupid and unkind thing to say to a complete stranger on the basis of a single disagreement about what a sentence means

Looneytune253 · 08/03/2020 07:57

He's prob taken that as be here at 530 at the latest. Personally I would've got there at the earlier time if someone was cooking me dinner but not everyone is like that.

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