No kids out-of-town wedding, no kids after-wedding brunch...on Mother's Day?!

[WombOfOnesOwn]

I'm in the US, so I think our dates for Mother's Day are a bit different.

We've been invited to the wedding of one of my husband's closest friends from when he was younger. I really adore this friend, though have never met his wife-to-be. The wedding is in a destination requiring 6 hours of flights each way for us, but it was a no-brainer that we'd go. The groom was one of the groomsmen in our wedding, after all!

The wedding has been scheduled for Mother's Day weekend. And no children are allowed at the ceremony or reception on Saturday, or the rehearsal or dinner on Friday. Now it turns out there's also a Sunday brunch on Mother's Day, again with no children invited.

Nearly all the groomsmen have children; I have no idea about the bride's side.

What once seemed like an obvious wedding to go to has become a huge problem: to go, we will need to either figure out hotel childcare in a strange city for events ranging over 3 days, or leave the children with my MIL while I totally miss them even being awake on Mother's Day and just have to go to work on Monday morning as usual, after a cross-country flight where I get back only in time to give my kids a kiss when they're sleeping. It guts me. They're only 4 and 2, I haven't had that many Mother's Days, and I'm pregnant again.

AIBU to think this is a very strange weekend to have a wedding and especially a post-wedding brunch that the wedding party is expected to attend, if you're not allowing children and much of the wedding party has chidren?

I find myself feeling quite frustrated with them for these restrictions, and even though I know it's their wedding and their choice, asking people to be in your wedding party at a travel cost of thousands of dollars, then ensuring that they spend their mother's day brunch with the wedding party and not their kids, seems very strange and selfish to me.

mothers day is made up as proved by we dont even have it on the same day or month

child free wedding suppose its up to them but long way to go isnt it without them

shit didnt see it was a zombie soorry

I wouldn’t worry about Mother’s Day too much, you will have many more.
Go and enjoy yourself and have a break . The kids will be fine and you can have a special day at a later date, plus things Will be cheaper and easier to book.

My childhood friend had a child free wedding miles away on my dd1s first birthday. They had too many friends with children and couldn't afford to include them all. We had to decline. I still regret it sometimes because I wish I had been there for her.

But we weren't prepared to leave dd for that long and couldn't make it work.

@GabsAlot

shit didnt see it was a zombie soorry

same

I hate this. I missed so many weddings because my husband got to go and I had to look after the kids (breastfed baby/toddler). I really hate the idea of childfree weddings as so many people are excluded from celebrating... although I get it- their choice bla bla bla.

The mothers day wouldn't bother me, but the whole charade of it would. a weekend away, organising childcare for two toddlers. I would give it a big pass no matter what day it was on!

Given that weddings are planned some time in advance, I'm not sure I could tell you when next year's Mother's Day is (I've only just discovered that the UK one is only two weeks away!), so I don't think it would have been a consideration for them.

Definitely move it to the weekend before and enjoy not getting fleeced for a set menu

Sigh.....I give up.

Here's a clue. Look at the date on the op.

They won’t know it’s Mother’s Day. I’m planning a child free wedding..well except for my SD 11&5 Suppose I should let them come 😂

I’d be grateful if the break! Go enjoy it x

IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!

@Fiona2020

It was A YEAR AGO

They are now married.

It is no longer an issue.

It’s too far away and their expectation you be there for the whole weekend, covering Mother’s Day, with no children while you’re miles away from home is unacceptable.

In your situation your DH should attend and you stay with your kids as the groom is your DH’s friend, or you both go but miss the rehearsal and the brunch the following day. Fly home early the morning after the wedding.

@FoonySpucker I realised this as I posted 😂 let’s hope they got married !

@VestaTilley

It was A YEAR AGO

They are now married.

It is no longer an issue.

Maybe cast your eyes over the two posts immediately above yours

They are a clue

People who resurrect zombie threads should be banned from MN. Bloody waste of everyone's time.

Your kids are 4 and 2 and maybe I’m unusual but I don’t get the problem. I could understand if it was Christmas Day or NYE but you know Mother’s Day is a fake thing set up by card companies right! I’m not saying it’s a bad thing but let’s have a dose of common sense and keep it in perspective please. These people only get married once. These aren’t acquaintances or work colleagues. These are close long time friends. The wedding takes priority. If you have no access to any childcare then fair enough. But if you do, you do everything in your power to go. You keep your mouth shut and you involve yourself in their special day. Special mother’s day menus? I don’t even know what that is. Come on. Grow up. Do you know how lucky you are to have close friends let alone have a wedding invite??? Do you KNOW how lucky you are? Lots of people never have that in their life. Jeez.

Argh zombie thread!!

Mothers day bit wouldn't bother me , its just a day and you could have a postponed mothers day the following week if your dh normally takes you for a meal or something.
But then I don't see it as a big deal its just a day

I just wouldn't go.

you would not go to a wedding because of mother's day? wow I am stunned. just celebrate mother's day the next weekend? It's really not a big deal.

urgh have just seen its a fucking ZOMBIE THREAD!!

To all of the people commenting with advice a year late I am genuinely (non goadily) curious.

Do you not even glance at the recent replies above yours before you post?

Do you not use the "see all" option to read what the OP has posted?

@MNHQ really need to have a re-think on their zombie alert strategy.