No kids out-of-town wedding, no kids after-wedding brunch...on Mother's Day?!

[WombOfOnesOwn]

I'm in the US, so I think our dates for Mother's Day are a bit different.

We've been invited to the wedding of one of my husband's closest friends from when he was younger. I really adore this friend, though have never met his wife-to-be. The wedding is in a destination requiring 6 hours of flights each way for us, but it was a no-brainer that we'd go. The groom was one of the groomsmen in our wedding, after all!

The wedding has been scheduled for Mother's Day weekend. And no children are allowed at the ceremony or reception on Saturday, or the rehearsal or dinner on Friday. Now it turns out there's also a Sunday brunch on Mother's Day, again with no children invited.

Nearly all the groomsmen have children; I have no idea about the bride's side.

What once seemed like an obvious wedding to go to has become a huge problem: to go, we will need to either figure out hotel childcare in a strange city for events ranging over 3 days, or leave the children with my MIL while I totally miss them even being awake on Mother's Day and just have to go to work on Monday morning as usual, after a cross-country flight where I get back only in time to give my kids a kiss when they're sleeping. It guts me. They're only 4 and 2, I haven't had that many Mother's Days, and I'm pregnant again.

AIBU to think this is a very strange weekend to have a wedding and especially a post-wedding brunch that the wedding party is expected to attend, if you're not allowing children and much of the wedding party has chidren?

I find myself feeling quite frustrated with them for these restrictions, and even though I know it's their wedding and their choice, asking people to be in your wedding party at a travel cost of thousands of dollars, then ensuring that they spend their mother's day brunch with the wedding party and not their kids, seems very strange and selfish to me.

[LindyLou2020]

diddl
AlwaysLatte

Yes, should threads have an expiry/"use by" date?
Yes, I saw it on Trending so clicked on it. It's a natural reaction to assume Trending means "current".
It's basically been a waste of so many people's time, who were just trying to help.

[diddl]

"@MNHQ really need to have a re-think on their zombie alert strategy."

Not being able to post on them?

[SuperCaliFragalistic]

Someone runs a search for eg "wedding on mothers day" and blindly responds without looking at the dates. It's easy enough to do, fairly harmless but quite frustrating for subsequent people jumping on.

[AlwaysLatte]

See on the top of this thread here it says 'trending now' . You can see how it can happen. But I don't understand how the first person finds it to make it start trending though if it's not in the trending section until they revive it...

[AlwaysLatte]

Also I've heard the expression 'zombie thread' and didn't know what that meant, either! I thought it was a boring thread!

[AlwaysLatte]

To all of the people commenting with advice a year late I am genuinely (non goadily) curious. Do you not even glance at the recent replies above yours before you post?
I've just seen your post. I thought the 'trending' bit was the most recent threads - genuine mistake.

[AlwaysLatte]

I do find the no-children thing a bit odd, but especially so on Mother's Day. Personally I wouldn't go, partly because of the date and mostly because I wouldn't leave my children for that long (I still haven't spend a weekend away from them and they're 13 and 10).

[LindyLou2020]

I'm not a long-standing Mumsnetter, and I need educating as to how a "zombie" thread happens.......please?

[FoonySpucker]

To all of the people commenting with advice a year late I am genuinely (non goadily) curious.

Do you not even glance at the recent replies above yours before you post?

Do you not use the "see all" option to read what the OP has posted?

@MNHQ really need to have a re-think on their zombie alert strategy.

[unchienandalusia]

urgh have just seen its a fucking ZOMBIE THREAD!!

[unchienandalusia]

you would not go to a wedding because of mother's day? wow I am stunned. just celebrate mother's day the next weekend? It's really not a big deal.

[lockdownalli]

I just wouldn't go.

[donewithitalltodayandxmas]

Mothers day bit wouldn't bother me , its just a day and you could have a postponed mothers day the following week if your dh normally takes you for a meal or something.
But then I don't see it as a big deal its just a day

[ruledbynine]

Argh zombie thread!!

[ruledbynine]

Your kids are 4 and 2 and maybe I’m unusual but I don’t get the problem. I could understand if it was Christmas Day or NYE but you know Mother’s Day is a fake thing set up by card companies right! I’m not saying it’s a bad thing but let’s have a dose of common sense and keep it in perspective please. These people only get married once. These aren’t acquaintances or work colleagues. These are close long time friends. The wedding takes priority. If you have no access to any childcare then fair enough. But if you do, you do everything in your power to go. You keep your mouth shut and you involve yourself in their special day. Special mother’s day menus? I don’t even know what that is. Come on. Grow up. Do you know how lucky you are to have close friends let alone have a wedding invite??? Do you KNOW how lucky you are? Lots of people never have that in their life. Jeez.

[GCAcademic]

People who resurrect zombie threads should be banned from MN. Bloody waste of everyone's time.

[FoonySpucker]

@VestaTilley

It was A YEAR AGO

They are now married.

It is no longer an issue.

Maybe cast your eyes over the two posts immediately above yours

They are a clue

[Fiona2020]

@FoonySpucker I realised this as I posted 😂 let’s hope they got married !

[VestaTilley]

It’s too far away and their expectation you be there for the whole weekend, covering Mother’s Day, with no children while you’re miles away from home is unacceptable.

In your situation your DH should attend and you stay with your kids as the groom is your DH’s friend, or you both go but miss the rehearsal and the brunch the following day. Fly home early the morning after the wedding.

[FoonySpucker]

@Fiona2020

It was A YEAR AGO

They are now married.

It is no longer an issue.

[diddl]

IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!IT'S A ZOMBIE!

[Fiona2020]

They won’t know it’s Mother’s Day. I’m planning a child free wedding..well except for my SD 11&5 Suppose I should let them come 😂

I’d be grateful if the break! Go enjoy it x

[AlexCabot]

Sigh.....I give up.

Here's a clue. Look at the date on the op.

[dancingbymyself]

Given that weddings are planned some time in advance, I'm not sure I could tell you when next year's Mother's Day is (I've only just discovered that the UK one is only two weeks away!), so I don't think it would have been a consideration for them.

Definitely move it to the weekend before and enjoy not getting fleeced for a set menu