to be really pissed off that my so called friends think it is ok to smoke in the same room as a 6 week old baby and for them to be all snotty because we refuse to see them with our kids

[sheepgomeep]

I just cannot believe thier stupidity and thier naivety i really can't. They have used the excuse that as she smoked in pregnancy then the baby is used to it and will be ok.

They have gone snotty on us because we wont take our kids there.

No amount of education will make them change thier minds and whats worse her whole family have started it too so at any one time up to 8 oeple are smoking in the same room as that poor baby!

I am not turning this into an anti smoking rant as dp and I both smoke but we both go outside well away from the kids and are both very aware of the risks .

They give teenage parents and people on benefits a really bad name

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i quit every time i was pregnant except for the last time,i tried and tried but only managed to get down to one a day.i stayed stopped for over a year after having ds1,that was the longest.im not thinking about quitting now its not an option atm

I have tried quitting too and intended not to smoke again after having dd2 but I had a rotten time after her birth and then my dad passed away and so I began again.

Its also bloody hard to give up when my dp smokes too and i do find it a good stress relief sorry but I do.

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YANBU - we both smoked when ours were babies and if we can leave the house and take as many precautions as we possibly can, then other people flaming well can as well.

If they don't want to do this, then you are totally reasonable to not see them.

YANBU. How hideously selfish (and I am an ex smoker, so can understand people feeling they must smoke - but around children? Come on!). I absolutely think you are right not to bring your children into that environment.

YANBU - I wouldn't make a fuss about mine being around smoke if it was a 'one-off' (although they are 13 & 11 now) but to smoke around a baby is downright selfish IMO. I admit it is bad to smoke at all and yes it does cling to your clothes etc but with the previous attitude your dcs are only safe if you live (for example) in the highlands of Scotland where there is no pollution. Breathing in exhaust fumes of cars is not great either....but we don't stop driving.
I smoke but we go outside and have cut it right down to 2-3 a day, I gave up while pregnant and bf and wish I had never picked it up again but my dh didn't give up, so it made it harder not to start again. In an ideal world no one would ever do anything that harms dcs but if you make a concerted effort to keep it away from them, then you are doing your best and so should be commended IM(h)O

I grew up with two chain-smoking roller tobacco smokers (my dad and uncle).

You could literally cut the grey air with a knife in our home and car.

I started smoking at 18 (stopped at 25), and was soon smoking 40 red Marlboros per day. If you cant make them quit, join them! (was my attitude)

Though I dont have cancer yet, my dad only stopped when he started fearing for his own lungs, at the age of 67 (13 years ago)

I have now read research that children who grow up in a smokey environment are also at risk for all sorts of respiratory infections, from sinusitis to to tonsillitis and chest infections. I get the lot. As do my sister. I have chronic sinusitis, and survive on antibiotics, Nurofen, Paracetamol, allergy spray, nasal spray and Sudafed tablets throughout the automn, winter and spring, as any cold turns into a full blown sinusitis.

There are also links between tobacco smoke and Fibromyalgia (which my sister also have).

Your friends are stupid, selfish, ill informed, un-educated, egosentric dimwits. I rarely speak ill of other people, btw.

Didn't know of that link to Fibro Starry - how interesting.

Ah, but you still give mums a good name

I grew up in a house where my granddad smoked a lot (until I was 11 and he gave up cause he had a heart attack). Then at 13/14 I took smoking up for about a year (secretly), but now find it repulsive. I get a lot of bhroncial infections and two years ago nearly died from pneumonia. I stay clear of smokers now (no offence to anyone) so that I can give my lungs the best chance. At the end of the day it is your choice whether you smoke, but children don't have a choice if they passively smoke.

My mother wanted to smoke in the same house as premature twins . She will now only visit in the summer because she is not allowed to smoke in our house and refuses to go outside in the winter. Her cigarettes are more important to her than her family, which is very sad.

YANBU - what these people are doing is tantamount to child abuse in my opinion.

And there is no way that going outside in the garden to smoke is as bad as lighting up inside - whatever that research says!!

Thats completely out of order to expose a baby to that amount of smoke. As for smoking in pregnancy that is bad, but the baby isn't damaging its lungs then. If it inhales the smoke then that can cause asthma, bronchitis, chest infections etc. they feel like that. I am also not anti smoking and smoke myself, however, never around my dd, always outdoors with a jacket that stays at the door and thorough (almost excessive) handwashing after I have one. Also chew lots of mints.

I think Starry is applying the research to people that smoke indoors and agreeing with the OP about her friends. Having said that, say you went to a BBQ and there were kids running around the patio and you were smoking on the patio - I would think that was wrong. Other than that, I think going outside for a fag is better... 04ch better.

I think its a different matter if your children are invited to an occasion which is predominantly for adults. I.E. brother is a smoker and has bbq for 30th b'day on sat night, invites all his friends and you and family out of duty, invites kids because he knows you can't get a sitter. Then its your choice whether or not to go to it, or whether you stay if its smokey.

YANBU!!

i am a smoking parent and although my daughter shames me (at 2.6 she could say cigarettes ) i just cant quit, while trying to battle PND and still having problems with the loss of my nan etc etc

i do however only smoke outside and try to limit the cigarettes i have during the day when the kids are up.

i did give up through both of my pregnancies, couldnt put the poor little tiny babies through it

oh as for it relieving stress, and supposedly making you more stressed, it is because it is a stimulant, i think the stress relieving bit is having 5 minutes to yourself....wish i could manage that and not have a cigarette!

sleepless-i have pretty much the same reasons as you for not being able to think about quitting right now.

apparently,the 'stress' is actually a withdrwal symptom from the nicotine,and is the only reason having a fag calms you down.personally,i find it helps having soething to focus on,ie'yes,i do feel like i want to kill people,but i can go and have a smoke and calm down'.and i used to get stressed even when i didnt smoke and hadnt for ages,and i used to end up screaming at the kids etc.

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YANBU

I am a real lefty but when it comes to small children and babies being exposed to smoke at homw, there should be laws to protect them as there are laws to protect them from anything else that causes physical harm or distress.

It makes me feel so sad. The problem is, as smokers themselves, they have no idea what it physically feels like to be in a smokey atmosphere.

My MIL is a heavy smoker and even with her smoking in a different room, we both leave the house after a day with our lungs feeling heavy and uncomfortable. I smoked when I was younger and my other half smoked most of his life until two years ago - even he feels it. Imagine what it must feel like for a tiny baby.

So, YANBU

in 1971 by father was told off by his father for smoking in frontof his newborn daughter. both father and son smoked, like chimneys apparently. and this was jan 71. but even then they knew it was bad for a baby.

also, why do people smoke whilst pushing their baby or child in a pushchair or have a cig hanging out of their mouth whilst putting child or baby in car.

hate smoking near children full stop.

sorry why does that give teenagers and people on benifits a bad name sheep? is the person accused both! no you are right, i used to smoke socially and never allow anybody to smke in the same room as my ds, let alone a newborn!

I live in a coverted flat and have a neighbour opposite on the first floor, she smoked with her newborn in, i complianed to say i could smell it, i even put a draught excluder to stop it coming under my door! it is very wrong, and she smokes weed too! if i can smell it so can that poor baby! and yes pls dont smoke and push ur baby along, stop and smoke well away from the child! ur killing them with 2nd hand smoke!

I just read that there are an average of 300 cot deaths per year due to parents who smoke in the house with a baby

Great friends - they are obviously thick

and very tru maisemor, u shud try and give up for the kids know its hard! dont wanna leave them behind if u get ill, god forbid! i used to come in and wash my hands and brsuh my teeth not worth it!