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AIBU?

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Original poster

Last night I was followed home (road rage incident) aibu to be so angry

152 replies

DianneWhatcock · 04/03/2020 18:01

Driving home with my little DD last night (it was dark) , five minutes from home, suddenly someone appeared behind me then proceeded to tailgate me all the way to my home, honking his horn and flashing his lights clearly trying to intimidate me

(I have racked my brains since and As far as I am aware I did nothing wrong. I have been driving 20 years, never had an accident or even near miss, I am basically a sensible woman in a sensible car. But actually there is no excuse imo for doing what he did)

After a short time, I realised he was actually following me. I was panicking like mad and all I could think of was to drive home. In hindsight maybe should have driven a different way and just tried to lose him I suppose but I wasn't thinking. And then when I pulled up outside my home he pulled up parallel to me, wound his window down and started yelling abuse at me. I grabbed DD and just ran to my front door shouting for H who came out to see what was going on

As soon as he saw DH he drove off however my road is a dead end so he had to turn around at the end and to drive past DH which he did at high speed

I am so angry that someone is that much of a vile aggressive bully that they would actually do such a thing, and to a woman and a child. also I didn't think or have time to get his reg plate so I haven't even been able to report it

I hope if he tries it again he picks on the wrong person and ends up flattened by some psycho. I have ordered a dashcam now I wish to god I already had one. I have been anxious and uneasy since it happened. I mean anything could have happend. And now he knows where I live.

OP posts:
FudgeBrownie2019 · 04/03/2020 18:02

He's a coward who is scared of anyone standing up to him; he won't be back.

Flowers Did you report the incident to 101? It might be worth doing if you haven't, just in case other people cross that bellends path.

Thescrewinthetuna · 04/03/2020 18:02

Even if you don’t have the registration you can still report it

RedSheep73 · 04/03/2020 18:03

He sounds like a right pillock. But I expect he will have found someone else to bully by tomorrow, I doubt he'll come back to your house.

Floribundance · 04/03/2020 18:05

That sounds terrifying. I think it’s worth reporting it to your local police as they followed you home. There may be traffic cameras that caught the license plate.

PlumsGalore · 04/03/2020 18:07

I once had this OP many years ago and in daylight. When I got home the bloke got out of his car started screaming at me then ran over my foot and left me laid in the road. I had his registration and contacted the police.

Whilst I was at the station he turned up with his wife, grovelling and begging forgiveness and throwing apologies at me.

I suspect he got home and told his wife and she reminded him f the implications and what a twat he was.

I refused to speak to him and the police asked if I wanted to press charges, I said I wouldn’t as long as they went to see him at home (police car outside for the neighbours to see) and gave him a dressing down.

Whether they actually went or called him I don’t know, but I never saw him again.

bitheby · 04/03/2020 18:08

Report it anyway. They should be able to pick him up on CCTV. What a horrible man.

Robuns · 04/03/2020 18:09

Sorry OP, that sounds horrible and understandable that you are shaken Flowers. What an arse. You would know if you had done something dangerous etc, so perhaps your crime was going the actual speed limit or something equally as ridiculous, or perhaps he just thrives off intimidating women; evidenced by the fact he drove off when your DH appeared.

BackyardChickens · 04/03/2020 18:11

You poor thing. You have my sympathy. This has happened to me before too. It’s scary and completely unreasonable behaviour. You did nothing wrong.

What a big man he is, following a mum and child home. Hope he’s pleased with himself.

I try and remind myself that these kind of people clearly have some very upsetting stuff going on in their lives which makes them lash out like this. I pity them!

You did nothing wrong darling.

Shoppingwithmother · 04/03/2020 18:15

In the unlikely event that it happens to you again, don’t drive to your home- drive to your local police station and see if they’re still keen to shout at you there.

Derbee · 04/03/2020 18:17

I would report it just in case they have CCTV or anything. Whilst you remember times and places.

And next time, drive to a police station or somewhere rather than home

WorraLiberty · 04/03/2020 18:21

Ask your neighbours if they have CCTV, they may have his reg plate on it.

Lllot5 · 04/03/2020 18:21

I agree with previous posters. Report it, tell the police your route and times they may be cctv. Worth a shot.

RB68 · 04/03/2020 18:30

defo ask neighbours regarding cctv or rings. But report on 101 and next time drive to nearest police station. Get a dash cam front and back for evidence next time as police can use this to prosecute. Tailgating is an offence these days

Jaxhog · 04/03/2020 18:33

How horrible. Just a thought though, check your rear and brake lights. I once was driven home in a taxi from the airport, and someone did exactly that to us. Turned out the taxi's rear lights weren't working, and the following driver swore abuse at the taxi driver for putting me in danger! It was very scary. There are some very strange people about.

pumpkintree · 04/03/2020 18:33

If this happens again drive to a police station and pull I to the car park or outside and go and see them they will drive away

AdobeWanKenobi · 04/03/2020 18:36

If this happens again drive to a police station

Round here you'd run out of petrol before you found a police station open at night.

KatherineJaneway · 04/03/2020 18:36

Sorry to hear what happened.

I had a guy get really angry at me once, didn't follow me home though. The only crime I could think I committed was keeping to the speed limit on a very nasty change over between one motorway and another. He got so angry, started shouting like mad but my window was down (and so was his) so no idea what he thought it would accomplish.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 04/03/2020 18:39

As soon as he saw DH he drove off.

Well of course he did. He shat himself When faced with a man. I hate to say this but he’s probably tailgating some poor defenceless old lady as we speak.

Aweebawbee · 04/03/2020 18:43

Has this kind of thing always happened, or are people getting more angry? I don't remember road rage being a thing when I was younger.

AutumnRose1 · 04/03/2020 18:43

OP I would report this

I do wonder if he thought you were someone else btw.

Lynda07 · 04/03/2020 18:43

What a horrible experience and what a coward the bloke was. I don't suppose you got his number plates but if he wound down the window and shouted, you might have got a good look at him - sufficient to tell the police. I doubt you'll do that though.

Don't be down, it's not likely to happen again but it was unnerving.

Flowers
ginghamstarfish · 04/03/2020 18:43

I've had a couple of incidents like this, one where I beeped a twat who was pulling out onto the roundabout without looking (my right of way), and another in a car park because I didn't let him out in front of me. First one I drove to town, stopped outside the police station (although probably no actual police there at the time), and the second pulled into the supermarket petrol station which was very busy. I would NOT drive home with some maniac chasing me. Please do report, not sure what can be done now but just in case he's doing it to others.

5zeds · 04/03/2020 18:47

It happened to me not long after my first dc was born. Absolutely horrible. I was driving very carefully and hadn’t done anything. Dh was out and I drove to a friends house. He kindly came out and the twat drove off.

Ladybirdlashes · 04/03/2020 18:48

I had something similar happen to me a few years ago, ( I was 18 and hadn’t been driving long and was in a tiny little car) as I went around a bend in the road in a residential area there was a car parked on the other side and this man in a Land Rover came flying around the corner and barely stopped without hitting the parked car. I carried on passing the car as it was my right of way and I had got there first, if he’d been travelling at a sensible speed he wouldn’t have had to slam on his breaks. He got really angry shouting and gesturing at me and done a u turn in the road and tailgated me out of the village - if I’d been going home not out he would have followed me home no doubt but I was so angry that he felt he could intimidate me like that over an incident that was his fault and wished I had a dash cam!

Deelish75 · 04/03/2020 18:48

How horrible. I think some men get off on intimidating but when they are faced with another man standing up to them they are cowards.

I had a similar incident a couple of years ago. Middle of the day, DD (3yrs old) in the back of the car. It was really quiet and I was pulling away from traffic lights and saw a man starting to walk across the road up ahead. He deliberately started to slow down the more into the middle of the road he got, then he stopped in the road forcing me to stop and started shouting and ranting at me. Luckily a works van with three men in it pulled up behind me as this man was walking straight to towards my car. He looked over my car at the van, then turned around and walked off. I don't know what would have happened if that van hadn't pulled up behind me. I got dash cam pretty quickly after that but luckily I've never seen him again and drive that road a lot.

Please report him to the police, he may have done this before and is probably likely to do this again.