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AIBU?

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Original poster

Last night I was followed home (road rage incident) aibu to be so angry

152 replies

DianneWhatcock · 04/03/2020 18:01

Driving home with my little DD last night (it was dark) , five minutes from home, suddenly someone appeared behind me then proceeded to tailgate me all the way to my home, honking his horn and flashing his lights clearly trying to intimidate me

(I have racked my brains since and As far as I am aware I did nothing wrong. I have been driving 20 years, never had an accident or even near miss, I am basically a sensible woman in a sensible car. But actually there is no excuse imo for doing what he did)

After a short time, I realised he was actually following me. I was panicking like mad and all I could think of was to drive home. In hindsight maybe should have driven a different way and just tried to lose him I suppose but I wasn't thinking. And then when I pulled up outside my home he pulled up parallel to me, wound his window down and started yelling abuse at me. I grabbed DD and just ran to my front door shouting for H who came out to see what was going on

As soon as he saw DH he drove off however my road is a dead end so he had to turn around at the end and to drive past DH which he did at high speed

I am so angry that someone is that much of a vile aggressive bully that they would actually do such a thing, and to a woman and a child. also I didn't think or have time to get his reg plate so I haven't even been able to report it

I hope if he tries it again he picks on the wrong person and ends up flattened by some psycho. I have ordered a dashcam now I wish to god I already had one. I have been anxious and uneasy since it happened. I mean anything could have happend. And now he knows where I live.

OP posts:
nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 04/03/2020 20:07

This is why I keep a hammer in my car. Fucking nut jobs.

annamie · 04/03/2020 20:12

Which cunts votes YABU? Shock

OP, so sorry this happened to you. I have seen so many threads on MN of women being intimidated by men with road rage, and I have been there myself.

He is unlikely to come back Flowers

SapphireSeptember · 04/03/2020 20:13

What is it with men like this? I saw some twat in Peterborough city centre walk out in front of a car, (with a woman and two kids inside, naturally.) Me and my friend who were waiting to cross the road were gobsmacked at the sheer audacity of this idiot. Would totally have been his own fault if he'd been run over, and I bet he wouldn't have done it to a man.

Deelish75 · 04/03/2020 20:13

Some of these stories are really disturbing.

AutumnRose1 · 04/03/2020 20:16

“ Some of these stories are really disturbing.”

Yes. I have a friend with long platinum blonde hair. She now stuffs it all into a baseball cap before doing any night driving.

ASundayWellSpent · 04/03/2020 20:20

So sorry this has happened, it can be really scary! I had it last summer, on a windy country road a guy in an old beat up car tailgating me beeping and flashing lights while I was driving with my two nursery aged DDs. He rammed the back of my car. When we got to a place that he could overtake he rammed me from the side. Then overtook and braked so I nearly when into the back of him. He didn't follow me home - luckily for him or he would have seen me let our Mastiff come running at him out of the gate. I took his reg and rang the police ASAp but doubt they ever did anything.

MulberryPeony · 04/03/2020 20:27

Yes a dashcam is certainly a deterrent but mine is so slimline I have on occasions pointed it out to entitled [male, always] idiots. One actually went to get get out of his works can to come and be intimidating until I pointed to it. He shuffled back with his tiny tail between his legs. He was trying to beat a traffic queue so it was entirely his own fault!

MulberryPeony · 04/03/2020 20:28

Van not can Hmm

BettyBigBoobies · 04/03/2020 20:33

This happened to me when I was about 18. I panicked and drove home. He buggered off as soon as he saw my dad. We reported it to the police, even though we only had the first part of his plate and a description. The police found him though, we assume because he may have already had a criminal record. We had to go and make a formal statement.

Definitely worth reporting as it may help the police with a previous or future case. Bullies never only bully once.

I was shaken for a while, though OP. If it helps, I’ll make you a virtual G&T.

BettyBigBoobies · 04/03/2020 20:37

This seems scarily common. I’ve just remembered that some twat got aggressive with my friend because she stopped to let the oncoming traffic go when she was turning right (as you do). He followed her so she drove into the supermarket car park, parked in the disabled space at the front, then ran in and got security. She said it was the busiest place she could think of and she thought they’d have CCTV.

frumpety · 04/03/2020 20:37

My cousin tells a legendary tale, she was also followed home by an arse, except her home then was up a very bad off road track, the initial bit tarmaced over to lure in unsuspecting travellers ( bit like the Lanes in Devon) but quickly turns to tractor/off road vehicle access only. He made it about 1/10 up the unmade track before doing something very bad to his car and discovering there was no mobile signal ! she and her husband watched him intermittently out of their window for a good hour before he disappeared over the horizon on foot never to be seen again Wink

The reason for his aggression ? he chose the wrong lane at the roundabout and decided to blame her for his bad Hmm

BettyBigBoobies · 04/03/2020 20:41

It’s terrible that some men think they can get away with intimidating women like this.

I’m liking the stories when they get their comeuppance though.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 04/03/2020 20:41

as long as they went to see him at home (police car outside for the neighbours to see Hmm

you think the cops are the Boogeyman or something?
So what if the neighbours see? There are so many reasons why the police might be talking to you, since when is it a shame to have them at your front door.

Normal human reaction is to worry they are getting bad news, but it could be so many randoms reasons.

Paperdove87 · 04/03/2020 20:49

My FIL did this to a poor lady who cut him off. Followed her home and shouted at her.

He couldn't understand why she was so angry with him when they stopped outside her house.

I've tried to explain why she was so terrified but it falls on deaf ears. Things like this just completely underline the obliviousness some men have to their privilege and women's vulnerability.

Hope you're ok and not to shaken up.

WaxOnFeckOff · 04/03/2020 20:50

I think general advice is to drive to a local police station but like other posters, we have very few that are open at all, never mind at night. Petrol stations generally have cctv so are a decent place to drive through where their registration can be hopefully be caught. Fire station a good place to head for for safety too.

Vanhi · 04/03/2020 20:57

Oh and then there was the twat who did a punishment pass when I was on my bike, then decided to stop in the road in front of me, get out and yell. I was on a bike in an isolated place so I just yelled back. These tossers are always fucking cowards so he backed off.

We're just an aggressive ape basically, and often not a very nice one.

Aufgehts · 04/03/2020 21:07

Something similar happened to me too recently, with a guy in a white van who took umbrage at the fact that I'd had the audacity to drive at the 30mph speed limit then stopped at a red light. He was tailgating really aggressively and obviously wasn't paying attention to the lights and nearly went into the back of me. I didn't even brake suddenly or anything so it was 100% on him.

He chased me down, got out of his van at the next set of lights, hammered on my window like a massive ape with his fists, screaming and shouting and tried to open my (fortunately locked) car door while accusing me of trying to write off his van.

I was so terrified that I've never driven in that part of the city again.

They only seem to do it because they think they can get away with it with women (and especially women with kids, i think). I even had a bloody 'baby on board' sign in my back window.

This thread is so depressing, I had no idea how common this sort of thing was.

Vanhi · 04/03/2020 21:18

This thread is so depressing, I had no idea how common this sort of thing was.

It is, isn't it. I thought I was encountering this because you're an easy target on a bike. Turns out I'm just as likely to encounter it in the car. Flipping great.

AutumnRose1 · 04/03/2020 21:23

Paper “ My FIL did this to a poor lady who cut him off. Followed her home and shouted at her. ”

Ask him if he’d do it to a man.

MsPeachh · 04/03/2020 21:33

Had a man yell “cunt” at me from a car and speed off, I’d literally just left my front door. There are a lot of arsehole men out there.

HearMeSnore · 04/03/2020 21:34

Has this kind of thing always happened, or are people getting more angry? I don't remember road rage being a thing when I was younger.

It wasn't as common, for sure. But now there are more cars crammed onto the same roads, every journey is a stress endurance test and aggressive arseholes are still aggressive arseholes...they're just harder to avoid.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 04/03/2020 21:41

just see how many road rage videos there are on youtube!

Taylr1733637 · 04/03/2020 21:47

I invested in a dash cam because of aggressive drivers.
I got one that has a rear camera too because I do alot of long distance driving and often find I get tailgated. It definitely does make people back off when they realise it's there.

Although the worst time was at a petrol station. I didn't drive off fast enough after filling up my car (was putting my seatbelt on) the man behind started swearing and shouting at me!
I couldn't believe someone would behave like that in public and wondered what he'd be like behind closed doors.

UYScuti · 04/03/2020 21:50

My FIL did this to a poor lady who cut him off. Followed her home and shouted at her Shock
he sounds like a man whose knuckles drag on the carpet
wtf???

kateandme · 04/03/2020 21:51

have any of your neighbours/road got those cctv thing on their homes?they might have caught him on it?

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