To lie about death of puppy

[Snowdropfairy85]

We are weeks away from welcoming our new puppy into our home and the breeder has just phoned to say she’s passed away. I’m absolutely gutted. We had visited the puppy several times and named her. She was just 7 weeks old. Breeder comes highly recommended, I fully checked them out. My kids are 5 & 6 and I just don’t know what to say to them. When DD’s hamster died we told her the truth and she was absolutely devastated, I’m not sure I can face telling her the puppy has died. I can’t think of a good reason to tell them as to why we aren’t bringing her home now though.

I understand there won’t be Cockapoos on there before anyone points that out.

@Wolfiefan - believe me there are plenty in it for the money breeding pedigree dogs. People complain about crossing 2 pedigree’s yet make no reference to all the adjustments of pure breed’s over the years for the customers, many dogs are barely able to breathe after what breeders have done to make them more accommodating. So I think it’s pretty disgusting that people instead choose to complain about crossing a couple of pedigree’s and charging more than a cross breed. Don’t try and tell me that all breeders are there for the love of dogs as we know that’s not true. Many many puppy farms are breeding pedigree’s. Much more so than cockapoo’s. So people really need to get some perspective.

In any event as many continue to say, this isn’t about what breed suits the OP’s family. She has already made that choice and is happy to part with her money. End of

@Darbs76 I wouldn’t bother, I’ve been saying the same as you for years on here but in MN eyes, all cockapoos comes from byb and puppy farms (No exceptions) and everyone should get a pedigree (even if it’s a breed they don’t want) or a rescue.

Even though I know of very responsible cockapoo and goldendoodle breeders, I’m obviously mistaken as they don’t exist 🤷‍♀️

Lol, thanks LochJess (won’t let me tag you). We know we are right and they are wrong. End of! Three cheers for the doodles!

You absolutely do not need to tell them. They are young and life is hard enough they don't need to know that at such a young age. Tell them puppy wants to stay with it's mum. Sorry this happened

@jimmyhill omg she is 5! I'm 43 and struggle to manage my anxiety. Telling a five year old her puppy has died is not the best way to help her deal with her anxiety!

What I can't wrap head around is the idea that this mum needs to be forensically truthful regarding the fate of an animal that has never set paw in her home or developed a relationship with her children. There is being truthful and then there is knowing, as an adult and parent, when to edit oneself. This is in the latter category.

I'd say: "The puppy has been poorly and won't be able to come and live with us. It's sad but sometimes this happens. We will be able to adopt another well puppy."

The OP might get some questions. But it sounds like saying: "I don't understand everything that has gone wrong" is true.

However - I agree with doing a bit more research around this breeder.

My aunts had a beautiful black lab puppy when I was a child, she was so much fun and full of character. I got told that the black lab puppy had got too big for my aunty to cope with so had been sent to live on a farm in Scotland, so she could have a better life.

I found out a few years ago that she had pulled my aunt over, while they were out for a walk and then ran into the road where she was run over and killed. I’d have been devastated if they’d told me the truth at the time because I loved that dog so much. I was upset enough about her moving to Scotland and I was upset when I found out what had really happened. I still think my family did the right thing to protect me though.

this may sound harsh but kids these days are sheltered too much.
They need to know the truth.
kids are resilient .
Hope all works out

@Snowdropfairy85 - I have absolutely no problem with cockapoos, I think they’re lovely dogs. But the reason people do have a problem with them is that - because they’re a cross breed - there are lots of unscrupulous breeders out there.

If I were in your position, I would get a poodle. They’re LOVELY dogs, don’t shed, don’t smell. They don’t all have to look like the classic poodle cut. (If your DD watches CBeebies, for example, Waffle the Wonderdog is actually a red miniature poodle and not a cockapoo like many people think.)

I totally understand why you’re not going to an animal rescue as you have small children. Rescues probably won’t let you adopt anyway.

And you can find a reputable kennel club breeder for poodles.

Kennel club registered dogs are expensive, but at least you know they’ll be from a good place.

Good luck - oh yes, and I would say to your daughter that the puppy is unwell and you have to get a different one.

Poodles are adorable. We meet one on our walks sometimes and she’s gorgeous. She doesn’t walk, she dances. I could watch her for ever.

I’ve decided that the next dog I get will be a poodle, Alsohuman!

Envious, I’d love one.

Oh it won’t be any time soon - our current dog is more than I can handle right now . But maybe when he’s mellow and I start to miss having a bouncy puppy around the house!

I actually think there’s a poodle rescue called Doodles Rehoming (although that might be poodle crosses - or maybe both)? Again, might not be ideal with young children but might be worth checking out...?

Goodness, don’t upset your children if you don’t need to.
Ignore everyone, and do what you feel is right.

I'd lie. They're 5 and 6 - there's no need to tell them.

I totally agree with posters saying there’s no need for the truth here. It wasn’t a beloved family pet.

Haven’t RTFT but I would definitely lie. It’s a different matter if you had actually had the puppy in your house, at that point it becomes an established family member. But because it hadn’t even arrived I think it just unnecessarily upsets the kids.

You know your own children best. Something that could merely sadden and disappoint one child, could deeply and irrevocably affect another. I know one of mine would’ve been utterly broken at that age even if they’d never met the puppy.
There’s nothing wrong with sparing your children the pain.

"My friend's dd lost a fish during the night once. We shaped a carrot into a fish and dropped it in the bowl.. Replaced Fishy before 3pm."

😂 I love the ingenuity !
Turning a carrot into a fish. MN biblical story

I would tell the truth. If you lie you don't give your dc the chance to practice managing loss, and that's something everyone needs to do. You also give the chance that they will find out and start to wonder if they can trust you.

I would absolutely lie in this instance. We’ve had pets die and it’s heartbreaking.
However this puppy was not yet part of your family, the children are very young, hadn’t gotten to know it but they’ll be so upset about what wasn’t to be.
Life will present many, many more opportunities to learn that lesson.

I'm not usually one for lying but in this case I would. I ask wouldn't get a dog from someone who has so many litters - they can't all be being brought into the house and get loads of attention - the parents never mind the puppies when they all arrive!! Id rather have a puppy from a family home and know they've been doted on since birth (lots also do the genetic testing on cockapoos ). I'd look at different litters that are due now and go to see them in their own environment now and pick one a similar colour that can come home around the same time. There's loads of easy non-distressing reasons you could give about a delay in puppy coming a little later.

I'd want to know exactly why the puppy died op. And I wouldn't be inclined to deal with the breeder any further tbh. Mind you, I'd always be rescuing from a shelter anyway, but that's just me. Plus I'd tell your DD the truth.