To lie about death of puppy

[Snowdropfairy85]

We are weeks away from welcoming our new puppy into our home and the breeder has just phoned to say she’s passed away. I’m absolutely gutted. We had visited the puppy several times and named her. She was just 7 weeks old. Breeder comes highly recommended, I fully checked them out. My kids are 5 & 6 and I just don’t know what to say to them. When DD’s hamster died we told her the truth and she was absolutely devastated, I’m not sure I can face telling her the puppy has died. I can’t think of a good reason to tell them as to why we aren’t bringing her home now though.

Oh God you said "Cockapoo".

MN has now been triggered.

Run OP! Save yourself!

Please spend two minutes reading threads in the dog house. You will find out why people are weary on buying mongrels for high prices, why there is no guarantee that cockapoos will be hypoallergenic, how to identify a good breeder, etc. I would also suggest you do a little bit more reading on what is involved in having a dog as you seem to be rather poorly informed on breeds and breeders.

I was keen on them as I have a family member with allergies who visits a lot

If the allergy issue is important to you then you need to avoid getting a cockapoo. They are just as likely to end up with the spaniels shedding coat as the poodle's non-shedding one. Or worse, a combination of shedding like a spaniel and growing like a poodles, which often end up a matted mess.

Poodle adult curly coats don't 'come in' until they are approaching one year of age, so even if you get a cockapoo puppy who doesn't shed, there's no guarantee that the adult coat will also be non-shedding.

Many years rescue is not a good idea if you are after an easy dog with children.
They are usually ex puppy farm dogs, scared, unsocialised, untrained and need a calm quiet home with another dog. Not at all suitable for you.

I completely understand why you would want a puppy rather than a rescue, and I’m saying this as someone in the dog rescue world.

Most cockerpoos are not hypoallergenic. In fact, I can't think of a single one I know that doesnt make me wheeze.

@Snowdropfairy85
If you want a hypoallergenic dog breed then they don't exist. Your family member is just as likely to be allergic to your cockapoo as any other breed. If your family member is allergic to dog hair get a poodle or other non-shedding breed. If they're allergic to dander or saliva then don't get a dog.

Regardless 7 week old puppies do NOT just die and it is not just one of those things. I think you need to do some more research and find a better breeder

Regardless 7 week old puppies do NOT just die and it is not just one of those things.

Of course they can, in the same way a human baby can die of SIDs for no obvious reason or could die from an underlying health condition that wasn’t picked up on until the post mortem it’s perfectly possible for these things to happen with animals too.

The OP and her family have already decided they want a dog and which breed will suit her family. She didn’t ask for advice on that? Why are certain posters assuming they know better and directing her to get a rescue/different breed/no dog at all?

If it were me, I would take them on a surprise visit to a shelter. Then as we were going in explain puppy has decided to stay with its mum but we are going to see if we can find a lovely dog who needs a good home. Shelters have pups and young dogs that they can guide you as to their suitability, especially if you call ahead first. They will be medically sorted and their temperament known. The distraction will help them cope with the disappointment over the puppy. If you cant find a suitable one, then make it a project for them.
Rescue dogs can be fabulous. We never had a bad one.
Allergy wise, there is no such animal as a hypoallergenic dog. It is not just fur but dander and saliva that can create allergic reactions which can be severe. I get so fed up of people saying my poodle does not shed when it is their skin cells that cause the issue. Yes, we had animals when I was at home but the heavy cold I had until turning 17 and leaving home, disappeared overnight when I moved into a pet free zone.

@Canshopwillshop because it isn’t a breed. It’s a cross. It could turn out to be any number of things.
And because these dogs are bred for profit. Not health or temperament or longevity. Just cold hard cash.

Oh and we went in for a border collie once and left with a labrador!

@wolfiefan - my point remains though. The OP was not asking for advice about choice of dog, she wanted to know how to deal with the death of the puppy and what to tell her kids. People then started piling in questioning her choice and decisions.

Can’t believe people have said tell the truth!! Why put the kids through it? Unnecessary imo. I would just look for a new dog the same colour and put it behind us.

Assume you are all aware that pedigree dogs are also subject to puppy farming. It’s not just cockapoo’s (and get it correct, they are a cross breed not a mongrel). Also as someone else said the poster hasn’t asked for the Mumsnet hysteria over a breed that none of them actually own to comment on what breed might suit this ladies family. She simply asked what to say to her daughter. So wind your necks in. There’s absolutely zero proof a pedigree isn’t going to be subject to the same puppy farms that everyone’s assuming with zero facts that this breeder is. If people want to do some research on what the kennel club has done to many breeds perhaps they can get up in arms about that, rather than what other people spend their money on.

Exactly what @HalfTermHalfTerm said. Really well put. We've just had to tell our 2 yr old that our beloved family dog had to be pts. He was old and sick and had been living with us the whole of our child's life so it was important to say. In this case I would deftgo with a white lie.
As PP said, puppy is sick and has to stay with mum, we will have to think about another puppy etc

I have to agree with the pp who said that the lie of choice on the thread (puppy had to stay with its mum) would almost certainly be worse than the truth for my DD. She isn’t anxious but she is almost painfully empathetic and when we did eventually get a puppy she would worry terribly about it missing its mum, and the mum left behind and missing its pup. Told the truth, she’d be sad for a day or two, say a prayer, and then move on. It just goes to show how different our children all are.

Weighing everything up OP I'd tell a lie to DC. Maybe say puppy has been selected as a special dog to become a guide dog?

I work with dogs and I'd honestly be very wary of anyone breeding several litters close together. It's rare that such set-ups hold their dogs' welfare and the early development of their puppies as a priority.

It's proven without doubt that the early life of a puppy is key to creating a well balanced family dog. Problems can be resolved later on, but it's tough and not a job for an inexperienced owner.

As for cockerpoos and other 'poos' and 'doodles' you will read a lot of negative things on Mumsnet. I have met some fantastic ones, but also many challenging ones and it's so hard to predict what you are going to get when mixing breeds.

Remember a poodle is a highly intelligent, sensitive breed so character wise it's not necessarily a great choice to mix with a highly energetic dog!

@Darbs76
Some pedigree breeders are definitely in it only for the money.
But a minority are in it because they bloody love the breed and want to try and safeguard their lines and the breed as a whole going forward.
Cross breeds? In it for the cash.
I would rather put my money in the hands of an ethical breeder. Or rescue.

I think lying is the correct way to go.

This: This might be a good way to learn how to deal with and manage her anxiety then as an anxiety sufferer is one of the most heartless and disgusting and offensive comments I have seen on here.
Clearly that poster has absolutely zero understanding whatsoever of anxiety disorder..

I think you had a lucky escape from this breeder.
I’m all for genuine home hobby breeders but ‘council licensed’ ‘puppy dying at 7 weeks’ and ‘pick of the litter from her other dog’ sent major alarm bells ringing for me.

Cockerpoos are often very poorly bred because they are such a popular puppy farm breed.
The majority I meet have pretty horrible temperaments.

If you are looking for hypoallergenic so many breeds fit that:

• virtually all wire haired breeds if hand stripped
• Yorkshire terriers
• maltese
• Italian greyhounds
• poodle

-bichon frise There’s probably countless more.

@BillysMyBunny
There are many exacerbating factors for SIDs

I look forward to you providing me the evidence base that such a syndrome exists in puppies...

@BillysMyBunny
And just in case you're getting confused with fading puppy. Syndrome, 7 weeks is way too late - they're basically independent by that age
vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/puppy-fading-puppy-syndrome-in-dogs

Here you go.

wagwalking.com/condition/early-death-fading-puppy-syndrome

“ And how do you know that a puppy you get from a rescue isn’t from a breeder who was farming them out? “

Well you don’t but in this case you are not giving your money to the puppy farmer and thus perpetuating the cycle are you? You’re giving it to the rescue and helping them instead

Supply/demand

Would you trust a breeder on the kennel club website?