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AIBU?

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Original poster

Teacher didn’t let my DD go to the toilet

169 replies

starlight86 · 03/03/2020 17:54

My DD is in primary 1 and just turned 5.

She asked to go to the toilet close to home time and was told no. She subsequently wet herself and was too scared to tell the teacher (not her usual teacher and apparently this music teacher is scary) she came out in tears and soaking wet.

Her papa was the one picking her up so called me later as I was at work to tell me and the school had already closed.

I always thought they had to allow a child that young to go when asked?
I’ll be calling school tomorrow but I’m feeling really angry about it, however I will be calm when I call them.

OP posts:
IhateBoswell · 03/03/2020 18:19

This reply has been deleted

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WorraLiberty · 03/03/2020 18:20

I'm pretty sure the OP is a regular and not a troll Confused

bringincrazyback · 03/03/2020 18:20

If it’s 5 mins before home time that is normally in our school when important info etc is being read out so we are likely to say no

Because we all know how good 5 y/os are at absorbing important info when they're desperate not to wet themselves. Hmm

Original poster
starlight86 · 03/03/2020 18:21

@Rainbowshine apparently she is a massive arsehole this teacher as described by many parents in the class WhatsApp chat. I’ve never had any issues with either of my DDs and this music teacher however both have told me tonight that she is a very “shouty teacher”

Her normal teacher is absolutely lovely with a heart of gold and a very warm manner.

OP posts:
Original poster
starlight86 · 03/03/2020 18:22

Erm, not a troll 🤷‍♀️

Don’t know why someone would troll on this subject to be honest.

I have posted before and answered lots of posts so......

OP posts:
Pentium85 · 03/03/2020 18:23

@bringincrazyback

Ummm as my previous posts have said, we simply have to weigh up children asking for the loo/the number of children asking/whether they can hold it.
If it’s 2 minutes before home time, I’m telling them it’s pyjama day tomorrow, then yes I’ll say to wait.
Don’t act as if I’m being a knob.

Topseyt · 03/03/2020 18:23

Check with the teacher what was said when you are there tomorrow. Then calmly explain what actually happened and how distressed your DD was.

Young children do often wait until the last possible minute before going to the toilet, and sometimes leave it too late. In a school situation they have the added (but necessary) step of having to ask the teacher first and some struggle with the confidence to do that.

See what the school's usual approach is to toileting requests from children of this age group and start from there. You and they will both need to explain things to your DD and support her. Maybe she had ideally needed to go at infant breaktime and didn't?

DaughterOfHekate · 03/03/2020 18:24

This shit right here is why I'm thinking of homeschooling!!

Children are being modeled into robots by our education system that was concocted in the by business leaders in the industrial era as that's what they needed to run the machines - compliment robots

ASandwichNamedKevin · 03/03/2020 18:27

@Pentium85 that makes a difference in terms of how long they can wait, usually more reliable by that age and you have an idea who are the time wasters.

That said I think a lot of schools are pretty harsh about toilet rules, if a kid doesn't need to go at one break it can be a while until the next one.

Original poster
starlight86 · 03/03/2020 18:28

@Topseyt exactly this.

I know she waits until the last minute and has had 1 accident in school because of this a few months ago. We speak to her about it all the time because it is frustrating for us especially as she’s been toilet trained for 3 years now but she is only a young thing.

I’m happy to get the teachers side of the story and just explain to her that really when my DD asks she’s probably bursting and does really need to go.

OP posts:
Feenie · 03/03/2020 18:30

God, yes - please do home ed.

I teach Y6 and let them go when they want to, but that sort of spouting I can do without!

slashlover · 03/03/2020 18:31

I’m happy to get the teachers side of the story and just explain to her that really when my DD asks she’s probably bursting and does really need to go.+

The problem is that it might not be convenient for her to go immediately.

WorraLiberty · 03/03/2020 18:32

Children are being modeled into robots by our education system that was concocted in the by business leaders in the industrial era as that's what they needed to run the machines - compliment robots

Got enough tinfoil for your hat there?

Barbie222 · 03/03/2020 18:34

We have 2 toilets, so if three people ask, one can't go as they'd be unsupervised. Reception and year 1 can't queue up without an adult.That's life isn't it? Or you'd have to have 30 toilets.

@DaughterOfHekate there's usually more toilets in the horrendous corporate world - or are you planning on installing one loo per family member? Hmm

Original poster
starlight86 · 03/03/2020 18:35

@slashlover but surely the alternative is worse? Her wetting her pants.

I can understand a 7 or 8 year old being told to wait, she only turned 5 2 weeks ago.

OP posts:
Rainbowshine · 03/03/2020 18:35

There’s a WhatsApp group of parents referring to a teacher as an arsehole?! 🤦🏻‍♀️ She may be shouty - anyone who has had to stop a primary school music group can describe the din it makes!

Original poster
starlight86 · 03/03/2020 18:38

@Rainbowshine

Yeah the group is def full of a few nutters. I like it for keeping me up to date with things but don’t comment or post much at all 😂

OP posts:
slashlover · 03/03/2020 18:40

@slashlover but surely the alternative is worse? Her wetting her pants.

I can understand a 7 or 8 year old being told to wait, she only turned 5 2 weeks ago

If the children were putting on their coats then everyone else should have to wait for her? Or should she be allowed to wander around when parents are picking up their kids?

SignOnTheWindow · 03/03/2020 18:40

The problem is that it might not be convenient for her to go immediately

It's almost certainly less convenient to have to deal with a wet floor and clothes.

PumpkinP · 03/03/2020 18:44

Children aren't allowed to use the toilet during lessons at my dcs school only at break times. I thought that was common

Skysblue · 03/03/2020 18:45

I would be livid with the school. Some children that age are able to wait but many can’t physically hold it in and even if they can, its unhealthy. I don’t care if it’s annoying / inconvenient for the teacher. I don’t care if seven kids all want a wee at once - let them go.

And then people wonder why british schools have some of the worst mental health scores in the world.

Original poster
starlight86 · 03/03/2020 18:46

To be honest I don’t really know the solution.

All I know is my DD asked to go to the toilet, was told no and has wet herself. Doesn’t seem fair or right to me. Happy for the teacher to tell me her side and hopefully it’s a 1 off.

OP posts:
amy85 · 03/03/2020 18:49

😂😂😂 all these posters being outraged that a teacher didn't drop everything because a 5 year old asked to go to the toilet....come on have you never told your kid they have to wait a few minutes before they can go to the toilet like when you are in a shop, driving in the car, or someone else is on the toilet already

slashlover · 03/03/2020 18:51

I don’t care if it’s annoying / inconvenient for the teacher. I don’t care if seven kids all want a wee at once - let them go.

So the kids go to the toilet, the bell rings and the school becomes full of parents and kids leaving. Does that seem safe to you?

Pentium85 · 03/03/2020 18:53

@amy85

Wine Grin