Would you say something to DD about her clothes

[wouldyousaysomething]

DD is 17 and has some really lovely clothes. She is quite big but when she dresses well looks gorgeous.

Quite often though she wears some of her clothes in a really unflattering way.
Think short tops with see through leggings.

She'll wear an off the shoulder top & skirt when it is snowing outside or if we're going out for a walk wearing boots.

IABU to tell her that she's wearing her clothes in an unflattering way or that her choice isn't suitable for the occasion?

She's 17 so it feels VU but she looks ridiculous and not in a 'teenage quirky experimenting with fashion' way.

The OP is getting a hard time when she is asking how to handle a tricky subject.

My dd is much younger (11) but recently I’ve had to tell her she can’t go out with leggings that are too short, food down her jumper, a t-shirt that’s too small etc

When she’s 17 I hope I can still point out if she is wearing something similarly unsuited such as leggings where I can see her knickers.

@kerryleigh
* but if something looks bad/wrong/unflattering I will say *

Out of curiosity - would you offer your opinion even if they didn’t ask?

This is just code for dress to HIDE your size. The truth is you find bigger bodies unattractive and only want to see her if she has a teeny tucked in waist.

Surprise surprise not everyone feels the same.

Surely she should dress to fit her size.

Just because it's the right size doesn't mean that it will suit you.

Clothes are available in sizes to FIT pretty much any size.
Doesn't mean they ALL look good on EVERYONE.

The truth is you find bigger bodies unattractive and only want to see her if she has a teeny tucked in waist.

Are you for real?
She wears short off the shoulder tops. My objection is pairing them with leggings with white knickers showing through.

At the risk of the derailing the thread, can we not say to our daughters they shouldn't wear short skirts etc because of "men perving". Let's focus on the men who are perving and make that unacceptable. A society that tells women they have to cover up so they're not "provocative" is not a society we want for our daughters (and sons).

I'm not telling my DDs they shouldn't wear short skirts and crop tops because of men who are fucking animals, you're sending the message that when a man acts like a fucking animal towards them, they bear some responsibility/fault for this due to their clothing. Shouldn't we be past this attitude in 2020?

She wears short skirts too!

just want her to make the most of what she has got. She's gorgeous.

I think this is quite a dated attitude towards clothing choices. When you think back to the Trinny and Susannah days the priority when choosing clothes was to achieve a slimmer, more sexually attractive, or elegant look. The aim was to pick outfits that accentuate your "best" features like a slim waist, and minimise your "worst" ones, like big bums or lumpy hips. And that's fine for those of us who might enjoy this way of dressing.

But these days when you look at the body positivity movement, there are no best or worst features, you don't need to hide things like big bums. You don't need to "make the most of what you've got" because clothing choices are not centred around making your body look good, they're to enjoy and experiment with however you like.

By pointing out the issues you see with your daughter's clothing choices, you're essentially bringing it all back to being body-focussed again, which is not really pleasant for the person on the recieving end of this unsolicited advice, because then what you're really implying isn't "your clothes don't look good", it's "your body doesn't look good".

@BeepOpsiePie I love that post

titchy

We all have to dress/shop to our shape and size

No we don't,

So you'd have her squeeze into stuff from Top shop that doesn't fit her.
She wants to wear it, so she can?
Even if the zip doesn't go up?

We Do dress and shop to our size. don't be so ridiculous.

Why is it so important that she looks good anyway? Maybe she doesn't care, and why should she have to?

I hear you beep. Great post!
However... I keep going back to the leggings and knickers...

Doesn't mean they ALL look good on EVERYONE.

But, as evidenced on this thread, whether something looks good or not is entirely subjective.

You don't like what your daughter wears but that's totally irrelevant. She clearly does like it so why do you think it's any of your business or concern?

@BeepOpsiePie I love your post too.

Socalm

She loves clothes and fashion. She drags me to the shops it the other way round!

@peachgreen I'm so glad somebody can see how damaging the op's attitude is. OP you are going to do your daughter some serious damage calling her 'quite big' I truly feel for your daughter. I'm guessing that your teenage style was impeccable and you're a size 10 🙄

adaline - She clearly does like it so why do you think it's any of your business or concern?

She doesn't like the legging/knicker look believe me.

But she's seventeen. She's more than capable of looking in the mirror and seeing what she looks like. She doesn't need you to tell her!

I'm guessing that your teenage style was impeccable and you're a size 10

Eh?

adeline
Has nobody ever told you something suits you/doesn't suit you?

I really think we should be giving women the confidence to develop their own style and be confident in what they like to wear, whatever their age or size. I'm in my 40s and I have a Mohican and shaved head, I'm sure lots of people judge me negatively or think I look like a dick but I'm old enough not to give a fuck what other people think. I would like my DC to grow up to be the same way and I'm starting now.

Doesn't mean they ALL look good on EVERYONE.

So fucking what? Is there a rule that says you must only ever wear stuff that looks 'good'?

Flashes
Wow.

"Your posts are reading more and more goady and disingenuous by the page"

Very true flashes