Have. Big decision to make in the next hour or so, I need the Mumsnet hive mind

[WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo]

Righto.

Years ago my nan died. She had 3 DC.

Two sons, one daughter (( my mum ))

Financially the sons were ok, my mum being a single mum was poor. Very poor. And worked hard for what she had.

So nana died and the house was to be sold, the profit split 3 ways. Not a massive amount of money, not even 10s of thousands but enough that it would have made a difference to my mum.

Only it didn't get that far, we went away for a few days and whilst we were gone one of the sons took it upon himself to move into the house. In doing so he also took remaining family heirlooms (( family Bible etc. Not worth anything money wise but obviously meant something )) and a lot of other things he kept.

This meant he now owned one house and also had my Nana's.

My mum was obviously upset about this, more about how he did it. And what he did. He paid off uncle one immediately and told my mum he'd pay her with rental from the other house. This came in dribs and drabs and was never the full amount. It then stopped a few months later when they sold the house(( they also took their half of the rent so profited twice )) it was just left. But my mum refused to sign it over as she wasn't happy.

They've since admitted they hadn't paid the full sum. Again no major fallouts, I've always invited them to birthdays etc. Theyve taken my DD on holidays, there is no malice on my part.

Now to the present day. They want legal ownership of the house to secure the future of their disabled son.

My brother immediately kicked up a stink and said they'll have to buy the 3rd share. Based on today's valuation. They've had the house valued and the 3 siblings are happy to take the money. Still a very low sum.

And then there's me. The awkward, principled one who also has a massive guilt complex 🙄

I don't want to sign it over because of how they treated my mum. I don't feel they deserve it. I know I won't really have any hold over it but what I propose is I sign something to state that upon the death of my cousin (( let's face it we all die )) my share reverts back to me (( well my DC ))

So what would you do ? Snatch the money and go off cackling into the sunset (( yabu ))

Or do what I propose and still keep a small hold over the property to remind them they were proper shits towards a vulnerable woman ? ((Yanbu ))

And yes I know this isn't WWYD but let's face it no one goes on there.

Take the money and wash your hands of the whole affair.

I would just take the money and move on. Life's too short.

Take the money and move on. Life is far to short. It's not right and not fair. The house should have been sold when you nana dies and split then. But you can't go back in time.

I’d the

I’d take the money. I can’t see it become less complicated so I would rather out be out of it. If you all have a good relationship outside of the house issues I wouldn’t want that spoilt by this.

Ffs sorry: is your mum still owed money? As in they never settled it? I’d ask for that too, as well as your share.

you are too nice op, they dont deserve you. You should take the money. you won't see anything if not

That's the thing.

I feel guilty taking it, they aren't massive wealthy but what they did was wrong.

My proposal means it doesn't cost them anything iyswim ??

Fucking hell, life really is too short for this shit.

Just take the money and get on with life.....

I’m not sure what it’s got to do with you? If it went to your mum, it’s not yours to do anything with?

What sort of numbers are we talking?

And I right to infer that your mum has since passed, with her share passing to you, hence why you're involved rather than her? (Sorry to ask, but it does make a difference.)

Life’s too short.

Take the money and know that they’re fuckers and you’re not.

Do you have a share? I thought it was to be split between your mum and her brothers? What does that have to do with you?!

Just take the money and do something good with it.

Sorry should have clarified. My mum's now dead. But I know how upset she was over the things that were lost, binned as useless by my aunt or not cared for properly. Silly things to most people like Victorian lace / linen that was lost. This isn't a grand house by any stretch, it's a two up two down.

My mum also cared for my nana, she actually died at our house.

My auntie was never very kind towards her, she felt she favoured her ds over her dd.......she didn't. But nana lost a son at a young age who had disabilities and her grandson who was also disabled reminded her of him.

My brother immediately kicked up a stink and said they'll have to buy the 3rd share. Based on today's valuation. They've had the house valued and the 3 siblings are happy to take the money. Still a very low sum.

I'd make sure the valuation was completely independent - then sell it to them making sure it was all done legally - so you were completely free of entire situation.

propose is I sign something to state that upon the death of my cousin (( let's face it we all die )) my share reverts back to me (( well my DC ))

If you really want this I'd say you'd have to take legal advice - but if the property isn't worth much if may not be worth doing and I'd also want it in there that you weren't liable for any ongoing maintenance in mean time.

Plus if the property is left to rack and ruin - in case of any further dispute after cousin death or before- would you get much for it or would it be a constant worry about it's state.

crusty because my mum is dead and never signed the house over her share passes to us.

I basically own 1/4 of 1/3 of a house. A very small sum of money. But this isn't about money for me.

Take the money and consider the matter over

enjoying solicitors are already involved at my aunt and uncles request. They got the ball rolling. They've never actually had a conversation with us about it (( too ashamed I think )) and in all honesty we'd have left it. We hadn't done anything over the years and certainly wouldn't have put a vulnerable adult on the streets.

But it all needs sorting now and I'm to speak to the solicitor today. The other 3 have made their decision and are happy to take the money.

There is something particularly horrible about people who treat someone else like shit and then expect those who suffered in the fallout to be nice to them.

Get your share now. They should have handed it over long ago. Their behaviour has been unacceptable.

The only thing to do is for your uncle to essentially buy you and your brother out the house ?

Or sell the house and split the money. Am I right in thinking uncle 2 has already been bought out?

So uncle one 2/3rds. You and brother 1/3rd ?

Take the money, wash your hands of the whole affair and don’t engage with family members who damage your calm.

I’d take the money and be done with the whole thing. If they were prepared to do badly by your mum, I’m sure they wouldn’t hesitate to do badly by you. Unfortunately the sentimental things they got rid of that upset your mum are gone, having a hold on the house won’t change that.

Also would they deal with you separately or would it hold up the sale of the entire 1/3 possibly damaging your relationship with your siblings?

I get that you want to punish them for their prior behavior - but your brother aksing for current market value is probably the most you can do - and anything you do will impact on family relations - which if I've read that right are at least currently cordial.

It's not about the money, but you are not going to get the closure you want by keeping a share of the house OP. Do you really want to pass this grudge on to your children by bequeathing them a share of a house?