To be livid about hand hygiene offence?

[Yummymummy2020]

To cut it short but rant. Partners family taking offence at being asked to use hand sanitiser or wash hands before handling our new baby. Particular offence taken at asking the children to use it. I know I’m not unreasonable wanting hand hygiene to be followed before touching our new born, but I feel like really distancing myself from them over this. It’s not just about the corona virus I’m concerned about the baby picking up anything as they are so young. To add to this, certain members are living with a currently sick person which I feel makes it even more crucial to ensure their hands are clean. Would it be really unreasonable to just keep away until the baby has their vaccinations? I know this won’t solve colds/flu but at least the child can have calpol if they do get sick. I’m also annoyed for being called odd by them for wanting them to make sure to use the gel or wash their hands. I have the gel by the way I’m not demanding anyone track it down. I’m livid right now so don’t want to say/ act on anything in haste!

I don't think YABU. I never hold a young baby without washing my hands first. I don't wait to be asked!

Washing hands hmmmm. Not such a big deal, I probably wouldn’t have but that’s because it’s me. If you want it that’s fine, staying away til after vaccinations though..... way OTT. Unlikely anyone visiting you is carrying any of the vaccine program illnesses.

@Springinsight yes, I totally agree with you, I did notice one of the offended party was miffed also at the idea of not kissing the baby on the lips like the way you mentioned the sharing cutlery!. That is a whole other post but I have to say the majority of other friends and family were not offended and happy to use it or wash their hands, interestingly they also had children of their own that they had felt the same way about. I know when the baby is a bit bigger and not in the any illness is an emergency zone I’ll be way more relaxed, it’s literally just trying to get to that point without any harm caused is the hard part. I think winter babies need the extra bit of hand washing because there seems to be a lot more floating around this time of year, it’s nice to know you felt similarly too!

@Rachie1973 sorry I should have clarified the reason I said vaccinations wasn’t that I thought someone would give baby a disease protected by them, more that the baby will be eight weeks and not as tiny and at risk in that they can take calpol ect safely at that point!

I was an over zealous mum with my pfb dd but it didn't cross my mind to ask anybody to wash their hands before cuddling her, let along use hand sanitiser. I didn't do it myself either.

@Gooseysgirl I am the same, I was even before our little one came along! I wish more people felt the same and I wouldn’t have to worry then!

Had only read the first page before posting so didn't see the update.

Why on earth didn't you put the bit about the baby being prem and about the hospital advice in your OP?
I voted YBU on the basis of your OP but would have voted differently with more info.

My sister wouldn't have let me over the doorstep with either of her two when they were newborns without using handgel.
They are lively, healthy children now at 5 and 8, I wouldn't want to risk it with all the nasties around right now.

@1066vegan sorry, honestly I wrote it in a rant and with baby brain didn’t tell the full circumstances. I don’t know how to add a bottom part to the original post to clarify it for people and don’t want to ask to delete the post and start from scratch as so many people were good enough to share their thoughts on it! Apologies though and it’s noted that you think it’s different knowing the full situation.

Dear lord.

Washing hands before handling delicate newborns does not lead to children who can't handle germs. It's washing your hands before touching a little person who is still adjusting to being in direct contact with bacteria.

As for all this "how did people used to cope?", words fail me. Take a walk around an old churchyard, you absolute muppets. Perinatal and infant mortality used to be huge.

I suppose you think it's absolute nonsense that one doctor found out he could drastically reduce deaths in childbirth by washing his hands before he did pelvic examinations as well. Lots of people thought so at the time, too.

YANBU for a newborn but don't go crazy about it, my best friend got obsessed with the handgel, even dousing my kids hands in it when we were there and her kids were constantly sick as toddlers through primary school, they had no immunity.

Exactly @potholeparadise. He was chased out of his profession, disgraced and humiliated. Pretty sure he died destitute.

It’s pretty standard to wash hands before touching a newborn. It’s really not PFB! I don’t think it’s at all unusual - and I say that as someone who lets her kid eat stuff off the floor, lick the cat, eat dirt and he’s never seen a squirt of hand sanitizer in his life!

I always made people wash their hands when they came to visit after I had a new baby - it's not much to ask, is it?! A little baby suffers so much if it gets a cold/virus (and so do the parents through even more disrupted sleep). It would be a non-negotiable for me

I made everyone wash their hands or use hand sanitizer before touching DCs when they were babies. I was more offended at anyone who thought it was acceptable to touch newborns without cleaning their hands first. I don't care if anyone thought I was over the top, my baby, my rules and not risking baby catching a bug so young to spare someone's feelings. My DCs all had their first colds well after they were 1 year old so I think I did the right thing

@PotholeParadise it’s such a common idea that newborns should be exposed to germs it seems on mumsnet, but the hospital are the complete opposite. If it was ok surely we wouldn’t be told to sterilise bottles ect so carefully, because a lot of people that handle babies touch their faces and their hands which often end up in their mouth just like the bottles do really! I know a lot of older generations were more lax but I do agree with you so many babies have died from infections and viruses that older kids would shake off easily! The intensive care unit actually Warned us that even the drip in the babies hand could get infected easily in there and that infection in any way was very dangerous, so we would all need to be religious with hand hygiene on discharge to prevent any illnesses passing on or bacteria that could cause illness.

YANBU. Newborn immune function is not the same as an adult or even older child. It is widely believed that the blood brain barrier in newborns is more permeable making them susceptible to meningitis.

When DD was 7 weeks old she was admitted to hospital. It turned out thay she had a common cold virus however because she had a raised temperature and had not yet been vaccinated against meningitis hospital protocol was that she was treated as if she had meninigitis until proven otherwise.
Having my 7 week old taken off me for a lumbar puncture and IV antibiotics for what turned out to be a common cold was an awful experience.
Babies dont need exposure to germs to build an immune system. They need to be protected from harmful pathogens until they develop more robust physiology.
If I have another DC I will be much more cautious in the early weeks and absolutely insistent about things like handwashing and avoiding relatives with the sniffles.
Ignore the PFB criticism and listen to your gut.

@Yummymummy2020 no problem. We've all been there with the babybrain.

Plus I've lost count of the number of times I've pressed "send" and then wished I'd written my post differently. My major gripe with this site that is that it doesn't have an edit function; even a time-limited one would help.

Semmelweis died in a mental institution.

I think you know the answer based on your massive drip feed so I wont bother answering that.

In response to your original question YABVU and will cringe about this in years to come. Do you wash your hands before you pick her up every time? Regular handwashing is important generally not just for newborns and if you know people have been away from home for a while e.g. come straight from work I'd offer the bathroom on arrival- not because of the baby but just as a general thing. The use of hand gel is ineffective against viruses which the vast majority of infant bugs are unless you have bought the high alcohol versions which are really bad for skin, and do you want all those chemicals transferred to your baby? The alcohol might evaporate but what about the rest of the chemicals in it. Furthermore the overuse of handgel is contributing to bacterial resistance so in the unlikely event your baby did develop a bacterial infection its quite likely that the antibiotics will be ineffective (one of the reasons why COVID 19 is killing people in fact). YABU to want to 'wait until you can give calpol' as this suggests you want to rely on drugs which will again work against the body's immune system to fight bugs. Some illness is fine, it's good for them in an otherwise healthy baby.

Oh
My goodness

The amount of posters on here they think it's ok to NOT wash their hands or children's hands before touching a newborn is unbelievable .

Perhaps you lot should do a bit of research into what germs you can have on hands and at what risk that can be a to a newborn baby.

Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet/ before eating ??

Honestly my mind boggles at the ignorance on here sometimes 😳😳😳😳

The 'building up immunity' issue that people are referring to - yes, but this applies after the first few months. Newborns do not have the immune system of a 4 month old.

The spread of some illnesses could be significantly reduced through good hand hygiene, but the culture of resistance to handwashing is so ingrained. It's so little trouble, compared with the impact not doing so has on communicable disease.

My mum was a midwife op. When my first child was born the first thing she did on coming into my house was wash her hands. She had never been particularly bothered about stuff like that but with a new baby don't take any chances. Corona virus is irrelevant. It's good practice regardless. My experience is that most people volunteer to wash their hands before holding a newborn.

I used to go out with a doctor. He always washed his hands as the first thing he did on getting home. It's good hygiene to be honest but no doubt he was sensitive to it because his job exposed him to germs. I'm always shocked how dirty my hands are when I wash them after being out of the house, I mean they look clean but they def aren't. .

My children wash their hands when they get in from school and before they eat. It's normal. Your relatives are being ridiculous.

Yy. Older children need exposure to germs in normal amounts.

Newborn babies do not come out the uterus, fully ready to deal with everything, not even full term ones. Exposing newborn babies to germs to strengthen them is on par with trying to improve the durability of a delicate piece of machinery by throwing it in a muddy puddle.

Honestly my mind boggles at the ignorance on here sometimes

Yet here we all are with combined thousands of babies held/passed round/looked after and all subsequently grown up just fine.

YANBU OP. I was the same with mine and would always wash my hands before I picked up a newborn. Once they’re crawling around and putting things in their mouths that’s a bit different obvs...