To be livid about hand hygiene offence?

[Yummymummy2020]

To cut it short but rant. Partners family taking offence at being asked to use hand sanitiser or wash hands before handling our new baby. Particular offence taken at asking the children to use it. I know I’m not unreasonable wanting hand hygiene to be followed before touching our new born, but I feel like really distancing myself from them over this. It’s not just about the corona virus I’m concerned about the baby picking up anything as they are so young. To add to this, certain members are living with a currently sick person which I feel makes it even more crucial to ensure their hands are clean. Would it be really unreasonable to just keep away until the baby has their vaccinations? I know this won’t solve colds/flu but at least the child can have calpol if they do get sick. I’m also annoyed for being called odd by them for wanting them to make sure to use the gel or wash their hands. I have the gel by the way I’m not demanding anyone track it down. I’m livid right now so don’t want to say/ act on anything in haste!

Ps hand washing doesn't lead to low immunity and kids becoming unwell. Bleaching everything in sight might but not hand washing.

YABU to want to 'wait until you can give calpol' as this suggests you want to rely on drugs which will again work against the body's immune system to fight bugs.

She means she wants to delay her baby's first illness until it would be possible to give the poor thing painkillers. It's not an outlandish wish.

Seeing your baby crying with something you can't fix sucks. Have you not experienced such emotions?

@PotholeParadise thank you as that is exactly what I meant!

Buzz

Yet here we all are with combined thousands of babies held/passed round/looked after and all subsequently grown up just fine.

If you read this very thread, there was a poster saying they wish they had been stricter on handwashing, as their baby got a virus while still a newborn, and now needs an inhaler when the winter colds come round.

I know someone else whose very young baby ended up hospitalised for a couple of weeks for an ordinary cold, and RSV is a complete bastard in newborns, especially prem ones.

Ahh, MN where the best thing to do is take your newborn out and rub them in the dirt, gotta build up that immune system right from day one.

If OP asks people to wash their hands is it really such an unreasonable request that people should refuse? What’s wrong with washing your hands? Will they melt? Sure have a silent judgement, maybe a secret eye roll, perhaps bitch about them behind their back, but refusing to do it is a shitty thing to do.

DD was really vulnerable to bugs given she was home before she should have been born. Hand washing was vital. I wouldn’t have been worried about it if she been full term but I’m not about to judge someone who is.

I thought everyone washed their hands before holding a newborn...

YABU. Babies need a diverse range of skin bacteria to be healthy. If you don't want people holding them yet (or at least without washing their hands if they are dirty), that's one thing.

But getting them to put something on their hands that kills most bacteria (leaving a gap for certain species to take over and become pathogenic) is quite another. That makes everyone less healthy.

@rosiejaune just to clarify I don’t mind if people use good old soap and water just some prefer to lash a bit of gel on! Honestly just trying to be accommodating with the gel, personally I haven’t a huge amount and would rather it for myself outside if I need it and no sinks handy, so I genuinely don’t Mind if people want to wash their hands instead of gel but just once they use something!

Jesus. Massive drip feed or what. Yanbu in those circumstances but yabu to assume everyone will do as you wish. Maybe dont have visitors until you are comfortable.

If I were to tell my mother to wash her hands before holding my baby, or my grandmother for that matter - I’m pretty sure I would be met with an incredulous stare. I suppose it just wasn’t the done thing back then. But this is your baby - so you get to decide what/who/how people hold him/her.

Gosh it never occurred to me 20 years ago to ask people to wash their hands before handling my newborns. I kind of get it in the light of coronovirus (although are you going to insist on masks too?), but generally? I think it's a slightly weird overreaction. For your own mental health I'd say try to relax a little and enjoy the ride

And what will you do if you have another child? DC1 will be all
Over that new baby (in the sweetest way). Will you have time
To enforce constant hand washing (toddlers are mucky pups) to protect DC2?

Hand washing makes more sense than hand gel. But you are being unreasonable to distance yourself over something so minor.

@TheoneandObi I don’t feel a need for masks, just good hand hygiene as per the intensive care units advice on her discharge.

Yes yes. I've just now read your more subsequent posts. Didn't get the whole picture from your first one.

I can honestly say that my grandchild has been held by 30 people at least Over 12 weeks and it never crossed my mind to ask people to hand sanitise !! I would be really concerned about all the chemicals being in contact with her ! She is absolutely thriving.

YANBU but I have to say I never once asked anyone to wash their hands when my boys were born. Twins were 36 weekers in the depths of winter; never had an issue.

But, YANBU! My dad is like this - takes offence at being asked to do something that is of no issue to him but would greatly reassure a new parent. Like, not holding the baby while drinking a cup of tea. Ridiculous man.

@feeona123 yeah let’s build up the immune system when we’ve got a new strain of bug going around that no one has immunity too let alone a new baby. 🙄

Why do people keep asking OP if its her first baby? She’s only asked for some basic hand washing or gel she’s not asking visitors to be sprayed down in tents before they enter.

If more people weren’t so filthy and actually washed their hands it would cut down on tummy bugs and colds. It takes moments to wash your hands.

I was in a public toilet last week with my Ds and she came out and instinctively went to wash her hands, a mum and daughter came out the next cubical and the daughter said I don’t want to wash my hands and they both walked out!

Beyond disgusting especially in a public toilet. Then myself and dd then have to touch door handles which they have with their stinky pee/poo hands?! 🤢

Oh and for all we know mother and daughter trotted off to see a friend and have a hold of her new baby but that’s ok it’s only a bit of pee/ poo and god knows what else, it will help build the baby up eh?! 🤮🤮🤮

Actually makes me sick 🤢

No OP you are quiet right to ask for a quick hand wash or gel. If they don’t like it they don’t need to hold the baby. Just ask them why are THEY making a big deal of it? Not you them?

It’s all over the news and internet we have a new infection on the loose are they thick? And all the talk of baby having immunity if your BF .... lot of rubbish it’s not a guarantee my little one was BF and my first born had chicken pox and the HV told me my new baby wouldn’t take them as she would have immunity, unfortunately she did at 6 weeks old and was covered.

Why are they making a big deal over it? It’s their problem not yours to fix they want to hold the baby they was the germs off their hands first!

YANBU

partners family are ridiculous, but they can either wash their hands or stay away

you are right. they are wrong.
just avoid them and continue to protect your baby.
dont waste your emotional energy on them or the issue. not worth it.
save your attention for your baby.
its their problem, not yours.

Ok now I have read the full story..I now understand your concerns.

and the daughter said I don’t want to wash my hands and they both walked out!

Who announces they aren't washing their hands to the room? Surely you just wouldn't wash your hands if you were that way inclined?!

Why do people keep asking OP if its her first baby?

Because I have two children. I know I was a lot more anxious around the first but a little more relaxed when it came to second doing stuff whereas I wouldn't have been so much first time round.

Asking about first child prob bc it's natural to be more anxious and also bc if it's the second, hygiene takes a back seat!

I'm with some of the PPs in that I didn't do any of that with my 3.

But that was 30 odd years ago and they weren't especially vulnerable.

Your baby is more vulnerable than is usual, and this is now.

And at this moment in time anyone who objects to washing their hands is being an ignorant twat.
It's not exactly onerous is it!

Yes, babies need exposure to germs to build up their immune system, but they do not need to be slammed with everything going in the first few weeks.

Stick to your guns OP

YANBU op.

All guests should have the sense to stay away if they are sick, remove their shoes and scrub their hands as soon as they enter the house. And they should ASK you that they can hold baby. As a pp said, it's not a bag of sugar!