To be livid about hand hygiene offence?

[Yummymummy2020]

To cut it short but rant. Partners family taking offence at being asked to use hand sanitiser or wash hands before handling our new baby. Particular offence taken at asking the children to use it. I know I’m not unreasonable wanting hand hygiene to be followed before touching our new born, but I feel like really distancing myself from them over this. It’s not just about the corona virus I’m concerned about the baby picking up anything as they are so young. To add to this, certain members are living with a currently sick person which I feel makes it even more crucial to ensure their hands are clean. Would it be really unreasonable to just keep away until the baby has their vaccinations? I know this won’t solve colds/flu but at least the child can have calpol if they do get sick. I’m also annoyed for being called odd by them for wanting them to make sure to use the gel or wash their hands. I have the gel by the way I’m not demanding anyone track it down. I’m livid right now so don’t want to say/ act on anything in haste!

I’ve never asked anyone to wash hands before handling either dd or been asked to myself 🤔

Massively BU

That’s how kids have low immunity and become unwell.

Not unreasonable seeing as my child was in hospital with an awful bug when he was a couple of weeks old. No doubt caught from someone in the family as spent no time elsewhere.

I hate my DSC handling my young children, their hands are always filthy! But I don’t like to keep making an issue of it

Doesn't matter if anyone thinks YABU, its your house, your rules, if they don't like it... they can Go forth and multiply....Stand up for yourself!!

fwiw my mum was a nurse, trained in the 50s, she was scrupulous about handwashing, would never handle my DD without washing first, i guess it's something we've let slip.

You’ll get over it OP. And I would object to putting alcohol rub on young kids hands.
But there again, I found dd3 feeding new born sibling cat food, to be fair she was eating it herself and just sharing.
Both young adults now. Not fond of cat food anymore.

I’m surprised my babies survived 😁

At some point they will come into contact with dirt, it builds up their amine system, you can delay it as much as you like but one day they will catch something.

On the other hand it’s your house, your baby so your rules but hand washing and ani bac gel is not necessary (washing hands is better than gels).

Never made anyone wash their hands when touching my babies and they are still alive (both teens).

YANBU. Can you say you’ve been advised by the HV or midwife to insist everyone washes their hands first? Then if they challenge you say sorry but you want to follow advice. When the midwife came to check my 2nd baby, she washed her hands AND asked for a newly washed towel before holding the baby.

YANBU. We asked everyone to wash their hands with our first and our second baby. My MIL had issues with it both times but hey ho. Our house, our baby, our rules.

When you send them to the bathroom to wash their hands before handling baby I guess it goes something like this...
Dirty hands touch the door handle and touch the tap. Hands washed with soap or dirty hands touching the dispenser. Hands not washed thoroughly (sing happy birthday twice folks!) not thoroughly washed hands being dried on a hand towel (that other not thoroughly washed hands have been dried on, handle touched to leave. Then hold baby with 'clean hands'

Yanbu

It really isn’t up to anyone else what level of safety / hygiene etc you have with your baby, and if they want to interact they have to respect you.

If they feel fine about no hand washing then they can do that with their babies but not yours. End of!

Perfect first born, you'll get over it.....

I think understanding how pathogens are transmitted helps be a bit more relaxed.
Yes hand washing before artificially feeding an infant and stay away with heavy colds in first few days but breastfeeding confers significant immunity, passed on by the mother. Healthy babies can’t contract a cold, or anything other than something like impetigo, through direct skin contact and even less likely through clothing.
Colds airborne.

but they just don’t seem to see that it’s risky with such a young child.

that'd be because it isn't risky.
This is, presumably , your firstborn ?
Seriously, millions of little babies have been held by loving members of their families for millions of years.
You are being completely over the top.

Now, it is your baby, and you have the right to demand this if you want to, but you can't really be surprised that people are rolling their eyes, as it is OTT and unnecessary.
I went to visit a new mum recently - LO was about 10 days old and I'm a friend, not a family member, but she was delighted to see me, and after a little while I even persuaded her to go off and sleep for a couple of hours whilst I looked after her new dd. She - as a new Mum is already seeing the benefit of having loving family and friends around her, rather than pushing them away.

When I left the hospital the midwife advised me to ask visitors to wash their hands. A few of my friends have asked me too as well, in the first few days they are so little that I don't see how anyone could mind. (Although I suspect MIL did!)

Washing your hands before holding a newborn is standard isn’t it?

Nope. I'm in my 50s and handled a few newborns in my time, including PFB, and have never been asked to wash hands.

I think the baby is more in danger from people breathing/sneezing/coughing on it than being held fully clothed by unwashed hands.

But if hand washing prior to holding is your rule then people should abide by it.

OP you are spot on with this. Hand hygiene ESPECIALLY at this moment in time is essential to protect your new baby. You have every right to make such a simple normal request.

This is one of the times to say ‘my baby, my rules’.

I would probably say it was ‘doctors orders’ or ‘current medical advice is to...’ as that might soften them a bit. But stick to your guns.

Sounds very PFB to me and I say this as someone who's prone to worrying/anxiety!

Your baby needs to be subjected to minor bacteria and viruses otherwise how is your baby going to build up a natural immunity to germs?
I understand that the current climate of fear is present in your mind , but to shield your baby from day to day germs will make matters worse in the future.

Oh bloody hell here they come with PFB comments.
Newborns are a lot more vulnerable than a school age child fgs.
A no 'exposing' a newborn to germs isn't beneficial just yet with their immune being so low .
I made people wash their hands before holding DS as he is my 'PFB'. Or the fact he's just precious and I'll protect him anyway I can!

Do what's best for you OP

If they live with someone who is sick/weak they should be doing this anyway

if they dont want kids using the gel they should just send them to the toilet to wash with soap

YANBU I get the kids to wash hands as soon as home from school/nursery. So many germs about right now, keep your newborn safe for the sake of offending someone for one minute.

I thought it was standard to wash hands before holding a newborn?
It's their issue not yours.
How many times have they visited?

Now my best mate has a sign on the pram saying 'your germs are too big for me!'

You've got to be on the wind up

Nope, YANBU I did the same. Yes. My first child. But I don’t care my baby comes first. If I am reassured by asking people to wash their hands then that’s what I’ll do. Especially with the Coronavirus. Don’t worry Op, your not alone